Pain, Joy, Life
by cousin D
Summary: FINSHED!  I'm rewriting the whole thing. I didn't like the first version.  Ryo just wants to take care of his granma, but she wants him to go to school.  Ryo makes new friends and struggles with his life. Yaoi and probably AU.
1. Make me proud

Samurai Troopers are not mine. Pity.  
I gave Ryo just about the hardest life I could think of. I really do love Ryo, it's just that I can see him coming from a hard luck back ground.  
  
Warning, I'm not nice to Ryo or anyone else for that matter.  
  
For everyone who doesn't know the YST version of Ronin Warriors here are the names:  
  
Ryo- Sanada Ryo  
Sage- Date Seiji  
Cye- Mouri Shin  
Rowen- Hashiba Touma  
Kento- Rei Faun Shu/Xiu (most people use Shu, but I like Xiu better)  
  
Anubis- Sh'ten  
Cale- Anubis (weird, ne?)  
Sekhmet- Naaza  
Dais- Rajura  
  
PAIN, JOY, LIFE  
  
  
  
Chapter one: Make me proud  
  
  
Cousin D  
  
  
  
  
'Make me proud, Ryo.' Her words echoed in Ryo's mind as he walked. He wasn't in any hurry, except that he wanted to get out of the cold. School would be warmer, at least that he could be sure of.  
  
Ryo shivered in the cold, biting wind of January and sniffed against the cold he refused to catch. 'I hate the cold!' He thought savagely and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Ryo tugged his thin jacket tighter around himself and pulled the brown woolen cap down to cover his ears. He tried to ignore the stares of the other students as he walked slowly through the school yard of Hana High to the front door of his new school, but it wasn't easy. Most everyone was wearing heavy winter coats and carried full bags, bulging with books and other school supplies, whereas Ryo had only his thin coat.  
  
Ryo tried to convince himself that he had a perfect right to be here, just because he didn't have a uniform and his clothes were a little more worn than theirs was, didn't mean they had to stare. Just plain rude, really. Ryo wasn't used to having so many people look at him, he kept his eyes on the ground and hoped they'd find something else interesting to look at.   
  
"Is he new here?"  
  
It wasn't safe to have people curious about you. Ryo knew it was far safer to live out one's life nameless and in the shadows. If people were curious about you, they started getting involved with your business and they might make trouble.  
  
He had nothing to be ashamed of! Still, Ryo was sad to see that everyone was wearing uniforms, the traditional blue for Japanese high school boys and a softer green for the girls. All his money had been used up to buy food, so he would have to work tonight if he wanted a uniform. The thought no longer repulsed him as it used to, he'd been working for so long. Just as long as no one here found out exactly what he did for a job, and so long as Granma never found out. It would break her heart if she ever learned that he was a talented thief.  
  
Still, Ryo couldn't help but to shrink down into the collar of his jacket when he heard someone whisper, "Why isn't he wearing a proper coat? It's freezing today." Ryo felt his face start to burn at the comment.  
  
"He's filthy! Can't he even wash?"  
  
Ryo started to walk faster, the front door of the school seemed to far away. Anyway, he knew that even then, he wouldn't be safe from the stares and comments.  
  
A girl's unladylike laugh and loud voice practically shouted, "Just hope you don't have to sit next to him, all that hair looks like he has fleas!"  
  
Ryo cringed. 'I don't!' He insisted to himself, though he just walked by the tittering students as if he hadn't heard a thing. Yes, his hair was longer than most everyone else's was and it badly needed a cut, but it was clean. He'd just splurged on a trip to the public baths last week and made sure to wash it, even though the shampoo cost extra. He wouldn't be able to afford to go again until Saturday, and that was only if nothing unexpected happened.   
  
Still, this was his first day of school and he'd wished to start it better than this. Literally, this was his first day of school, he'd never gone to school before. His grandmother had taught him to read a little when he was younger, but that was before they'd fallen on hard times. Before mom had died and then dad had just disappeared. Before they'd lost the house and been forced out on to the streets.  
  
Now there was far more important things to worry about than reading, or at least that was what Ryo had thought before granma had started insisting he start school two weeks ago. Ryo would never find out exactly what had gotten her onto this idea after so long, but he thought it was foolish. Really, he should be with her and taking care of her rather than wasting his time in school!  
  
"Make me proud. Remember," His grandmother had said a few hours earlier before he'd left for school, "You are a Sanada! From a proud and honorable family line. Despite what our circumstances now, you are still a Sanada, Ryo, you must remember that and bring honor to your family name."  
  
She wanted so badly to be proud of him, and Ryo had never done anything to let her know that he was anything but totally honorable. If there were one thing that Ryo couldn't bear the thought of, it would be to have his granma disappointed in him. She'd done so much for him after mom had died, how could he refuse her anything? It would break her heart if she found out how he really earned money. True, he did get odd jobs to earn a few bucks for them, but that would never be enough for them to survive on.  
  
At least this school thing had one good effect. Ryo had refused to go unless his granma agreed to stay in the local homeless shelter. It was getting far to cold for her to be out in the streets. Luckily, it had been a relatively warm winter, but Ryo still worried. At least now he knew his granma was warm and had a little food available.  
  
  
  
  
  
A short while later-  
  
  
  
  
  
The classroom was filled almost to the brink with uniformed students all sitting silently in perfectly still rows. To normal students, this was no big deal, but Ryo thought it unnatural how still everyone was while the teacher sorted her papers on the desk. Ryo's eyes traveled the room, taking in everything while he was forced to stand at the front of the room until the teacher was ready to introduce him. There were many students, almost thirty, but the room was big so it didn't feel over crowded, and every row of desks were on a tier, higher than the one in front of it. There were two sets of steps that led to the highest row in the back of the room.  
  
Ryo swallowed nervously while everyone stared at him and couldn't help shifting from foot to foot. Some were giggling and others looked at Ryo as if he were beneath their notice, with haughty expression and upturned noses. He held his thin coat and woolen hat in his hands and they seemed to be getting heavier and heavier.   
  
Finally, the teacher, a stern looking older woman with large glasses, stood up. The entire class stood at attention with her and Ryo wondered if this was how it was every day. She bowed to her class and they bowed back, chorusing a greeting of 'Ohayo' (good morning).  
  
"Class, we have a new student, as you've obviously noticed. He's going to be with us for the rest of the year so I want you to all make him feel welcome and give him any help he may need. Please, welcome Mr. Sanada Ryo." Her voice, despite her appearance, was warm and gentle when she gestured to him as though everyone hadn't been staring at him for the past five minutes.  
  
The class obediently chorused a welcome and bowed as they had to the teacher. Ryo blushed and bowed back. He'd seen people, mostly businessmen, in the streets do this, but had never met anyone important enough to bow to before. The teacher smiled kindly at him. "Sanada-San, would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself?"   
  
Ryo paled slightly and hoped he didn't look at panicked as he suddenly felt. Silently, Ryo shook his head. 'Please, don't make me talk!' He thought desperately. He would if forced to, but he really didn't want to.  
  
The teacher shrugged, probably dismissing it as shyness. "As you like. There's a free seat in the back, which will be your assigned seat until further notice. You can go to the office at lunch break to see about a uniform and getting all your books." Ryo saw the empty seat she'd pointed to and made his way back. Every watched him as he walked up the stairs until he finally sat and they turned their attentions back to the teacher where it belonged.   
  
Ryo sat next to a window and next to a boy with auburn hair and a sweet expression. The boy smiled at him and spoke in a thick foreign accent. "Hello. I Shin Mouri, er, Mouri Shin." He corrected himself, seeming to remember that family names came first and stuck out his hand. Ryo took the other boy's hand cautiously. He normally had a hard time trusting people, but Shin was different for some reason. There was just something about Shin's wide blue eyes and smile. "Nice meet someone else new. I moved from England," Shin gave a bit of a blush. "I don't speak Japanese good. Later you meet my..." Here, Shin struggled to find a word and his eyes lit up when he remembered. "Ah, friends. You'll like them."   
  
Just then the teacher interrupted, "Mouri-San, Sanada-San, do you have anything to share with the class?" She sounded irritated at having caught them talking and gave them both pointed glares. Apparently, she was just as strict as her appearance had led Ryo to believe.   
  
Both shook their heads and looked equally embarrassed.  
  
"Mouri-San, you don't speak so well, so I'll let you off this once. Since you want to talk so badly, Sanada-San, please answer the question on the black board." She pointed to the math question she'd just written with her chalk.  
  
Ryo paled visibly before standing up slowly. He licked his lips and looked at the board where the teacher had indicated. It was math, he was sure of that, but he really didn't understand it as he'd never done anything harder than adding and subtracting. Why were there letters in the problem? Well, the teacher was waiting impatiently for an answer. "Well?" She demanded.  
  
"I d-d-don't k-k-know." Ryo stuttered, spraying spit. Everyone was starring at him. Even Shin was starring.   
  
The teacher blinked, surprised, and a terrible silence filled the room.  
  
Ryo blushed, raising a shaking hand to wipe the dribble of spit off the corner of his lips while everyone stared at him and he wanted to sink into the floor. 'I hate talking,' Ryo thought. It wasn't his fault he couldn't talk right!  
  
"Oh." The teacher said, looking a bit embarrassed herself. "Please sit down, Sanada-San."   
  
Ryo quickly sat, staring down at his hands on the desk. 'Great, first day of school and now everyone thinks I'm an idiot.' In the small, repressed corner of his mind, Ryo felt a flame grow brighter. The fire in his mind was fed by his anger at himself and embarrassment. It wanted to grow, but fortunately, Ryo saw it in time and squashed it. Firmly, he pushed the fire back into place. The fire never completely vanished, but Ryo usually managed to keep it quiet.  
  
There was a splattering of mutterings before the teacher called everyone to attention to start the lesson again, trying to act as if Ryo hadn't just made a complete fool of himself. Ryo sunk into his chair. He just knew they were talking about him.  
  
Ryo cast a look at Shin, who looked at him curiously, but not with pity and Ryo was thankful. He just couldn't stand pity. Well, at least Shin probably wouldn't make fun of him, what with the fact that Shin didn't speak well, either.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was in the halls, just before lunch, when Ryo was trying to figure out the combination lock on his locker, that Shin came back with one of his friends. Ryo stared at the combination angrily. It just wasn't working!  
  
"Ryo!" He turned to see Shin walking toward him with another boy at his side. The boy had bright blue hair and a bandanna to hold it back away from his face. They both stopped at his locker and Shin smiled. "My number one friend, Hashiba Touma. Touma, this is Sanada Ryo, new in school." Shin's accent was hard to understand, but he seemed to be working hard on it and Touma didn't even make any notice of it. Touma, Ryo saw, was almost as skinny as Ryo, himself, was. Touma also had a fading bruise on his forehead and a Band-Aid on the back of one hand.  
  
Touma held out his hand genially. "Nice to meet you."  
  
Ryo shook his hand, but didn't speak in return. To this Touma raised an eyebrow. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"  
  
Shin elbowed his friend and said sternly, "Touma, be polite!" His scowl was actually cute and he didn't look as if he could get angry easily.  
  
Ryo breathed a sign of relief, thankful that Shin was sensitive enough to spare him embarrassment of having to explain his stuttering problem. It was bad enough to have it, worse to have to talk about having it.  
  
Touma gave Shin a slight, friendly push. "If you want polite, you should be hanging out with Seiji!" Touma suddenly grabbed the arm of a passing blond and pulled him into the conversation. "Right, Seiji?"  
  
The tall blond boy raised an eyebrow. "Let go of me, Touma." He stated quietly. Ryo took a good look at this new guy and it was quite the sight. It wasn't every day that Ryo saw a blonde, let alone such a...well...pretty blonde. Seiji had wild hair, done up in an almost impossible fashion that seemed to go every-which-way, but was obviously done on purpose. He was tall and slender, not skinny like Ryo, but built like he had muscles under his clothes. Seiji was dressed in the school uniform, but around his neck he wore a silver chain with a wooden pentacle. It seemed like such an odd, out of place, decoration that Ryo found himself staring at it before he realized what he was doing. Seiji looked as much like a foreigner as Shin sounded, but his Japanese was flawless and smooth.   
  
Touma, however, just wrapped his arm through Seiji's arm, like a sweetheart would. "But, Seiji, darling," Touma said in a falsetto voice and fluttering his eyes. "Don't you love me anymore?"  
  
Seiji turned a little pink. "Touma, take your arm off me, before you lose it, please."  
  
Touma, doing as he was asked, looked at Ryo. "Told you he was polite. Even when he's threatening to maim me, he says please." Touma giggled at his own comment. "Ryo, this is Date Seiji, another friend of ours. Seiji, this is Ryo, but he doesn't talk."  
  
Another, large figure walked up behind Seiji and smiled broadly. "MORNING!" He practically yelled, slapping the serious looking Seiji on the back. Seiji eyes widened and he fell forward slightly before the stranger grabbed him by the arm and saved him from his fall. Seiji did, however, drop all his books, and the sour expression on his face was enough to make even Ryo smile.  
  
Touma gasped. "Dear God! He can smile!" He pointed at Ryo in mock disbelief. Ryo's smile instantly disappeared and Touma groaned. "I was only teasing, Ryo. Lighten up, pal. This is Rei Faun Xiu." He indicated the larger guy helping Seiji to his feet. "He's big and kinda loud, but usually, he's OK."  
  
"Hey!" Xiu protested once Seiji was firmly upright. "Sorry, Sei-kun. Didn't mean to be so rough." He laughed pleasantly, even while Seiji fixed a half-hearted glare on him. "I won't do it again."  
  
Seiji turned away, as if he were insulted, with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"Awww, come on, Sei-kun!" Xiu whined. "Don't be mad!"  
  
Seiji pointed sharply at his pile of books on the floor, but didn't say a word. Xiu didn't need any more instruction and knelt down to pick them up, all the while muttering, "People are gonna think I'm your damned slave if you keep doing this to me, Sei-kun." When he'd gathered all the books, Xiu stood with his arms full. "Am I forgiven now?"  
  
Seiji smiled at him slightly. Xiu smiled back. For a brief moment they were in a world of their own. Then, they turned back to the others, pretending nothing had happened. Touma and Shin said nothing, so Ryo kept his thoughts to himself, though it was pretty obvious what was going on between the two.   
  
Ryo wasn't sure how he felt about this new situation. All four boys stood around him talking and laughing. Seiji and Shin didn't laugh as loudly as Xiu or Touma, but they were obviously friendly and Shin didn't let his accent stop him talking. Ryo didn't want to get to close and making friends, as it would just hurt in the end. Still, none of them seemed to be bothered by the fact that he just listened and didn't add to the conversation. It was nice to meet people who didn't expect him to talk all the time.  
  
Xiu, the large boy who'd surprised Seiji, was loud and boisterous and Ryo was sure his voice could be heard all the way down the loud hallway. Xiu seemed to be the kind of person anyone could like. Seiji spoke up at one point, "Xiu, my family needs someone to do light cleaning and maintenance around the dojo. It's only a couple of hours a week. Are you interested?"   
  
Ryo instantly came to attention at the mention of a job.  
  
Xiu shook his head. "Sorry, man. My folks keep me pretty busy in the restaurant and dad would be plenty ticked if I took time off to hang out with you, even if it was work. He thinks you're ruining my work ethic as it is."  
  
Seiji just shrugged. "It's all right. We'll find someone else. I just wanted to offer it to you first."  
  
Ryo started to smile again. This was it! A job! Granma could be proud of him for this, especially if he could make enough to get them some proper food again.  
  
"Come on," Xiu said, giving Seiji a gentle push. "I'm starved! Let's go eat!"  
  
"You're always hungry." Seiji muttered before he and Xiu vanished into the thick crowd of students.  
  
Touma watched them go, fondly, and then gave Ryo a very serious look. "I presume you saw something between the two of them?"   
  
Ryo nodded.  
  
Touma's voice took on a hard edge and he leaned so no one else, but Shin and Ryo, could hear what he said. "Keep it to yourself, Ryo. We," He nodded toward Shin. "Don't want any trouble for them. They're both great guys, but if folks around school started getting wind that they like each other, they're lives might get rough."  
  
Ryo understood. It would be hard for the two to have a life in this school if anyone found out they were gay. He wouldn't want to cause any trouble, anyway, so Ryo nodded in agreement.   
  
"Thanks." Touma said, relieved. "Not that it's a huge secret, anyone who takes the time to look would see. I just don't want anything to hurt either of them."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo tugged at the sleeves of his uniform. It was just too small. The sleeves left his wrists hanging out in the open and his ankles were completely uncovered. The white shirt was about three sizes to big, but that was mainly hidden under the jacket. The waist of the pants, thankfully, was only loose, so Ryo could fix it with a belt or something. It wasn't really all that bad. Really.  
  
"I'm sorry, but it's the only spare we have on hand, Ryo." The secretary told him after he'd put on the uniform. "Until you have the money to buy yourself one, you'll have to make do with the spare." They were both in the school's office where Ryo had to go to get most of his books and the uniform. At least they'd had a uniform so he wouldn't look totally out of place. Now, he just looked silly.  
  
Ryo nodded. There was no use fighting, he'd realized that long ago, but it would be terribly embarrassing to go around school like this. On the other hand, if he worked hard, he could probably save enough money to buy a suit in a couple of weeks, all he had to do was be patient. So, with his pile of books and new uniform on, Ryo went on to his next class.  
  
He tried to talk to Seiji, but only caught glimpses of him in the halls and they didn't seem to have any classes together. He did, though, have one class with Xiu who advised Ryo to have Shin take a look at his uniform.  
  
"Honest," Xiu told Ryo during home ec. "Shin's really good with that sort of thing. I bet he can fix it for you so you don't look so, um, mismatched." It was at that moment that Xiu and Ryo saw smoke pouring from the oven they were working at and both ran to rescue the cake.   
  
  
  
  
  
Xiu wasn't the only one who'd seen Ryo's ill fitting clothes and Ryo didn't have to ask Shin to do anything. Later that day, Shin caught Ryo's arm during a break and took him into the bathroom and told him to take off his clothes. Ryo stared at Shin for a moment in utter shock. "W-w-what?" Maybe Shin was just getting his words mixed up again.  
  
Shin sniffed and pulled at Ryo's jacket. "This very bad. Take off!" There was a hard, insisting tone that Ryo knew better than to argue with, so he took off the jacket. In the mean time, Shin was digging through his school bag and pulled out a small sewing kit. Apparently, Xiu was right when it came to Shin's sewing abilities. For only about ten minutes, Shin sat on the bathroom floor and worked on Ryo's jacket, cheerfully chattering away while he stitched and Ryo listened quietly. Every now and again, he'd break into English, but then bring himself back to Japanese when he realized what he was doing and that Ryo couldn't understand him.  
  
In the end, the jacket was better. Not great, but better and Shin looked at Ryo appraisingly with a critical eye. "I fix trousers later." He announced at last.  
  
Ryo shook his head. "D-d-don't have t-to."  
  
Shin just patted him on the back. "You can't walk school like that. Shameful." He declared, like the happy little bully he was, and then turned to leave.  
  
"Shin?" Ryo started to say. He'd just realized that he'd missed Seiji all day and hadn't had a chance to speak with him about the job.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"S-S-Seiji. Where d-d-does h-he live?" Ryo knew he was spitting again, but he couldn't help it so he held a hand in front of his mouth.  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
Seiji was busy when he heard the doorbell. He frowned, knowing that he'd have to go answer it, but not really wanting to leave his music. His garden was the perfect place to play, though it was a bit chilly now that the sun was setting. Everything was quiet and covered in frost, a wonderful peace permeated the entire garden. The last thing Seiji wanted to do was leave it for some door-to-door sales man. However, it was the right thing to do, so Seiji left his flute on the porch and went to the front gate that led into the family home. Grandfather was in the dojo and mother was at work, leaving Seiji the responsibility of taking care of the house.   
  
As Seiji was walking to the front door, his eye caught on something odd. Well, not really odd, it had been in the house for months, since mom had brought it home from some yard sale, but it was odd that it caught his attention just now.   
  
It was a small painting of a desert landscape. The desert was far from lifeless and showed all manner of creatures living in it, from the cactus and other plants, to peccaries, birds, fox, and even little scorpions. High over the desert in a perfectly clear blue sky was the sun. Blazing with yellows, oranges, and reds, the sun was the highlight of the painting, drawing one's eye away from the desert and into the burning depths of it. The painting made Seiji hot just looking at it. He paused by the painting for a minute. This had some significance; he just didn't quite know what it was.  
  
He was surprised to see Ryo standing there. Ryo smiled at him, nervously. "H-h-hello, Seiji." He stuttered. "M-m-may I talk to your f-f-father?" Ryo breathed deeply after the unusually long speech and Seiji was a bit surprised. This was more than he'd heard Ryo say all day at school. His stutter might improve if he talked more, but he must get teased a lot.  
  
Seiji repressed the painful sting the mention of his father caused. Ryo didn't know so there was no reason to be angry with him. "My grandfather is teaching at the moment and mother is at work. Can I help you?"  
  
Shin had told them all about Ryo's stutter, when Ryo was not around to be embarrassed, so they could all try to be careful about making him at ease. Seiji understood exactly what Shin wanted, but Touma might go out of his way to tease Ryo. Xiu, Seiji knew, he could trust absolutely with not to make Ryo feel badly. Xiu was, after all, the soul of kindness.  
  
"Please, come in." Seiji invited, always courteous and ignoring the stutter. Ryo came in, with a shy smile after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and remembered to take off his shoes, but only after he saw the other shoes near the front door.   
  
Ryo fidgeted, unsure of how to say whatever it was that he wanted to say. Finally, he just opened his mouth. "J-j-job?" He asked.  
  
"What?" Seiji frowned.  
  
Ryo opened his mouth, but really didn't want to talk again. He waved for Seiji to follow him. Seiji did as Ryo asked, curious. Ryo led him to the front wall of the family house where Seiji's grandfather had earlier posted a notice.  
  
HELP WANTED  
GENERAL MATINENCE AND CLEANING  
HARD WORKER NEEDED  
  
"You want the job?" Seiji asked. "It doesn't pay much. Mostly it's just cleaning the dojo after classes and helping around the house if we need it."  
  
Ryo nodded eagerly, a happy smile on his face. He pulled up the sleeve of his oversized sweatshirt and flexed an arm to show off thin, underdeveloped muscles. "You're a hard worker?" Seiji asked, understanding what Ryo was getting at. Again, Ryo nodded.  
  
Seiji thought about it and then shrugged. "I can't see any reason not to hire you. Come back tomorrow after school and you can start."  
  
Seiji was very surprise when Ryo jumped into the air to show how happy he was. Seiji just stood there while Ryo ran down the street, happy as a clam to have a job.  
  
"How very odd." Still, so long as Ryo got the job done Seiji wouldn't question Ryo's willingness to work.  
  
  
  
Continued... 


	2. Home

PAIN, JOY, LIFE  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: Home   
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
Ryo ran home, well most of the way, smiling and almost on the verge of laughing. Many teenagers were depressed when they got their fist job, but Ryo was so happy he could just burst. Now he could make a little money and maybe take better care of granma. She was going to be so proud of him!  
  
It was a fairly long distance from Seiji's home to where Ryo had left granma and the sun was all ready starting to set by the time he reached the right neighborhood. The less respectable part of the city was a far cry from the pristine area where Seiji lived with its tall, manicured trees and white washed homes. The streets were darker, shadowed by tall; almost falling down buildings and the streets became less crowded people and more so with cars. No one wanted to walk in this area if they didn't have to.   
  
As Ryo walked by, a red haired prostitute waved to him and shouted out, "Hey, Angel!" Ryo looked up and saw Yoko, a lady he'd gotten to know while living in this area. "It's late, you should be with your granma, kid. She's gonna get worried!"  
  
Ryo smiled and waved back before crossing the street to talk with her. Yoko was a good person, even if her job was a little less than respectable, and Ryo liked her smile. She just seemed so happy all the time, like nothing ever bothered her. Ryo liked the way her hair was an incredible shade of dark red, it made her look so exotic and she'd once told him that it was natural, too. He even liked the way she smelled like peaches.  
  
Yoko was a very thin lady and quite tall, and her face was sharp looking, made to look even harsher with all the make-up she wore. Yoko gave Ryo a one armed hug as soon as he'd run up to her, as if she'd known him his entire life instead of just a couple of weeks. "Missed you today, Angel. Where've you been?" She asked without taking her arm away from Ryo.  
  
"School." Ryo was immensely proud he'd managed to spit the word out without spitting at her. He certainly didn't want to spit on such a pretty lady like Yoko.  
  
Yoko's eyes widened when she took in his ill-fitting uniform and armful of books, which she hadn't seemed to notice before. "You little devil!" She laughed happily. "I knew you could do it!" She rustled his hair affectionately and brushed imaginary dust off the front of his jacket.  
  
"Ryo."   
  
Ryo turned slightly and saw, hiding in the shadows near the wall of a dilapidated building, Yoko's partner and constant companion. Joji was looking at Ryo from under his long curtain of pink hair that always seemed to be falling in his eyes. They, Yoko and Joji, watched over each other on the streets. Although Joji was a strange looking guy who had piercings almost every where on his body and had one completely white eye, showing that he was blind in that eye, Ryo still knew he was a good man.   
  
Ryo pulled away from Yoko and went to stand in front of Joji, so the older man could look at him. Ryo smiled proudly, but the only reaction Joji gave him was a slight nod of approval.  
  
After a minute of looking Ryo up and down, Joji patted the sidewalk beside him, signaling Ryo to sit, which Ryo did without hesitation. Ryo sat close to Joji while Yoko watched, leaning against a streetlight, her ever-present smile radiant, even in the fading daylight. Ryo wasn't stupid and he knew that there were very few people that could be trusted, especially with his lifestyle, but Yoko and Joji, he knew he could trust absolutely.  
  
"You look younger." Joji commented quietly, taking a drag on his cigarette. "More like a kid." It was pretty obvious he didn't like that fact at all.  
  
Joji wasn't as openly friendly as Yoko, but he took care of his partner and didn't let anyone hurt her. Whenever one of them had a john, the other went along. It was a rule that neither went anywhere without the other, for safety. While Yoko wore jeans ripped in specific, deliberate, places, Joji bare chested, showing off a spectacularly pure white skin and had on black trousers that looked like silk, almost see-though and whimsy. The strangest thing of all, to Ryo's mind, was Joji's fingernails. His nails were very long and painted bright pink, to match his hair. Joji never smiled, either, just had a kind of empty look on his face that never seemed to change while Yoko laughed at anything and everything. Ryo wasn't sure if it was love that held the two together or not, but they were a set. Now and forever.   
  
"C-c-can't help it." Ryo said. He had to wear it, it was a school rule.  
  
Joji took another drag and puffed out long trail of white smoke. "Don't wear it out here."  
  
Ryo frowned at Joji's order, it had not been a request from Joji's tone. "B-b-b.."  
  
"No buts." Yoko said firmly. "Joji's quite right. When you wear your street clothes, you blend in. Around here, that uniform makes you stand out a mile. Trust me, Ryo, you don't want to be noticed around here. Just change clothes at school and then back to your regular clothes after school."  
  
"You look innocent." Joji said this as though it was a bad thing and Ryo knew it was. He wasn't innocent, but if he looked it, well nasty things could happen.  
  
Ryo nodded and swallowed hard. It hadn't been all that long ago that he HAD been innocent. Back then, he'd looked innocent and someone had noticed him. They were quite right. Being noticed was NOT a good thing.  
  
Joji put a hand on the back of Ryo's neck and Ryo, surprisingly, liked the feel of Joji's hand. It was strong and warm, kind of how Ryo imagined his father's hand would feel. Joji wasn't much into touching, but he did give little signs that he cared about Ryo, like this. Ryo was sitting close enough to Joji that he could smell the heavy scent of cigarette smoke and he could feel the silky material of Joji's loose trousers.  
  
Yoko laughed when she saw Ryo looking at Joji's trousers. "Shit Face bought them for him. Doesn't he just look good enough to eat?" She said in a strange tone, hate seeping though her smile. "Say's we'll get more customers if it looks like Joji looks more exotic." While she spoke, Yoko walked over to stand in front of Joji. She put one hand behind her back while leaning over her partner with her usual frozen smile. "You're so beautiful, Joji. I really should be jealous. You get more attention that I do." She ran her fingers though his pink hair, pulling the hair away from his white, blind, eye and Joji looked up at her. "How can I be jealous of an fallen angel, though?"  
  
Ryo knew Shit Face was Yoko's pimp and, in a way, Joji's pimp, too. Joji never gave up his money to Shit Face, but Shit Face made more money because everyone would pay double for Yoko if they knew Joji was going to be around, too. The man's real name wasn't Shit Face, of course, but that's how Yoko always referred to him. Ryo had never met the man and, Yoko had said, if she had her way, he never would.  
  
There was an uncomfortable moment when Ryo felt he should be anywhere rather than intruding on their private moment. He was about to jump up and leave when the moment ended and Yoko stepped away from Joji. "So, what else is going on in your life, kid?"  
  
Ryo suddenly remembered the job he'd gotten at Seiji's home, so he told them that he'd found a way to make some money. Ryo was quite unprepared to have Joji's hard glare pinning him down. "What kind of work?" Joji demanded, though his voice was as quiet as ever and his hand tightened slightly on the back of Ryo's neck.  
  
Yoko was still smiling, but it was tenser now. "Don't you tell me you've started walking the streets, kid. I may have to kick your ass, if that's the case."  
  
Ryo's mouth fell open in shock. "N-n-no!" He protested. "Hon-n-nest!  
  
Yoko seemed to believe him right away, though Joji glared at him for a moment longer.  
  
Eventually, Ryo stood up and said he should be going. Yoko was right and it was far passed the time when granma had expect him back, plus he had homework to do for the first time in his life. So, after waving good bye to two, Ryo continued on his way.  
  
  
  
  
Yoko-  
  
  
  
  
  
"He's sweet." Yoko glowed looking after Ryo as he nearly ran down the street. "What a nice kid."  
  
Joji only answered, "Bad things happen to nice kids."  
  
"Ryo's not as innocent as he looks, Joji."  
  
"He's not strong enough for this life."  
  
A car pulled up on the corner near them and Yoko smiled, though her eyes shone with sadness. "You're wrong. He's too strong for this life. He's going to get out. You and I don't seem to be the ones strong enough to leave." With that, she turned and started to sway to her potential john, never doubting that Joji had risen to his feet behind her and was now following silently.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
Holy Shepherd Home was one of the very few homeless shelters in the area and Ryo was incredibly glad he'd found it. It wasn't the best of buildings, but the place was warm and had lots of cots to sleep on. Most importantly, sister Jo made sure there were three meals a day served. It might not be big meals or made out of the best foods, but it was a meal and Sister Jo did the best she could.  
  
The shelter was nearly empty, though Sister Jo had told Ryo it would start to fill up around dinnertime, especially as the weather was looking to turn colder. Everyone would be coming in for the food and a safe place to spend the night. Safer now that Ryo had come and brought Byakuen with him. Byakuen, it seemed, didn't like his sleep disturbed and, therefore, everything kept rather quiet when people knew Byakuen was sleeping. Like all cats, Byakuen liked to sleep a lot.  
  
Ryo started over to his granma when he saw Sister Jo sweeping out the common area where everyone ate at the large, long tables. She looked up and smiled warmly. "Hiya, kiddo." She said brightly, brushing a strand of pale blonde hair back under her habit. "How was school?"  
  
Ryo just shrugged and Sister Jo laughed. "That bad, huh?"  
  
Ryo thought a moment then shook his head. "M-m-made friends." Yeah, it had been pretty bad except for the guys he'd met.  
  
"Well," Sister Jo beamed. "That's a fine start, anyway. I'm sure tomorrow will be even better. You wait and see. Um," She frowned, watching him set all his books on one of the long eating tables. "Is all that your homework?"  
  
Ryo shook his head and held up his language book.  
  
"Oh. You'd best get going on it, then. No shirking off on my watch!" She teased and shook a finger at him. "I'll see if I can find you some paper and a pen in the office, you go see your granma first, though. She's been waiting for you all day."  
  
Ryo nodded, set all his books on the table, and went to the cot where his granma was still laying down. It looked as if she hadn't moved all day and Ryo was more than a little worried. Still, she smiled up at him when Ryo sat on the cot next to her. Though Sister Jo made sure they had as many blankets and pillows to make everyone as comfortable as possible, granma always looked like she was cold, her skin was getting pale. Sister Jo had even given granma the best cot, right next to the heater, but it didn't seem to help. On one side of the cot slept Byakuen, separating granma from anyone who might come to close.   
  
"I heard what you said to Sister Jo, Ryo. I'm so glad you are having fun in school." She reached up a hand to touch his face fondly. "I wish I could repay her kindness." There was real regret in her voice, too. Granma hated owing debts to anyone, even someone so generous as Sister Jo. "She was saying that tonight will be bad, Ryo, dear. Why don't you lend her a hand?"  
  
Ryo nodded, of course he would. He'd all ready told granma he would help Sister Jo, but granma's memory seemed to be getting worse lately. Ryo almost stood up to go see what Sister Jo would need him to do when his school book and a notebook landed on his lap. He looked up to see sister Jo, slightly scowling at him. "You don't do anything until that homework is done, buster. The crowd won't get here for another couple of hours, so just get your butt in gear."  
  
It wasn't the sort of thing that Ryo would expect a nun to say, but he was never one to argue with Sister Jo. It just wasn't a smart thing to do. She always talked like this, actually, and it made her sound like a real person instead of quoting scripture all the time. Of course, Sister Jo was also known to gambol and swear, along with hiding cigarettes under her wimple. Ryo also knew for certain that Sister Jo carried a switchblade somewhere in her habit, and she knew how to use it. Ryo wasn't sure why a nun would do all these things, but no one could deny she took care of the people who came to her.  
  
He'd known Sister Jo almost since the day they'd come to this part of the city, when the nun had offered him a place out of the cold. Granma had refused, of course, but Sister Jo had kept in touch with Ryo until she'd finally persuaded Ryo to bring his granma to the shelter.   
  
Ryo opened the book and started to struggle with the assignment. It was hard, but he managed to finish just in time to help Sister Jo start handing out bowls of soup to people who were starting to drift in.  
  
  
  
  
The next day-  
  
  
  
  
  
The teacher studied Ryo's paper in front of the class with a frown on her face. "Sanada san, is this some kind of joke?" She asked acidly, pointing at his test paper. Everyone was watching him when the teacher had called him to the front of the room and Ryo knew they could hear every word being said.  
  
Ryo shook his head vigorously. Ryo licked his lips nervously, waiting for punishment. He'd done his best on this assignment, but his reading level was about on par with an eight-year-old. Not the best for high school level literature. It might have been easier if he'd told someone that he'd never been to school before. The school knew, of course, but the administration didn't go out of its way to tell each and every teacher unless they came looking for information.  
  
"Then what is all this scrawl?" She gestured at the obscure, childish writing. It honestly looked as if a first grader had done the test. Some of the answers made no sense at all and others were illegible. "It looks as if you didn't even read half the questions!" She shook her head sadly. "I would hate to fail you on your first test in a new school, Mr. Sanada, but I may have to." Her eyes narrowed in thought as she regarded her silent, nervous student. He looked very sad, but wouldn't say anything in his own defense. Most students she had would have tried to think up an excuse, but Ryo just stood there and took it. "I'll tell you what, Mr. Sanada. I'll let you take a make up exam, but you must pass it. Do you understand? I will give you only one chance."  
  
Ryo gulped and, with his face red as the rest of the class staring at him, nodded solemnly. He slowly took his seat with his failed test in hand. Ryo stared at the top of his desk, refusing to look up until the class ended. He'd worked so damned hard! Sister Jo had helped him a little when he couldn't understand homework and even Yoko, when she and Joji had come to the shelter for a hot meal, had helped him with his math. They couldn't help him now, though, and Ryo wanted to die of shame and he slouched down in his seat, miserably.  
  
How was he supposed to pass this? Ryo felt like crying and he glared at the red marks that covered the paper. Reading was the hardest class for him, he just couldn't do it! Ryo felt the fire trying to grow, to feed on his negative emotions. A corner of the paper in his hands stared to turn brown and then black and a thin wisp of smoke, only barely visible, wafted up from the paper. Ryo felt the fire tried to fight free in his mind, forcing itself upwards to where it could find a release. If he let it get out...A hand touched Ryo's shoulder, instantly dousing the fire. Touma, who sat behind Ryo, was giving him a crooked smile.  
  
Ryo quickly covered the burnt edge of his test paper with one hand. The last thing he needed was for his friend to start thinking he was weird.  
  
Touma took pity on him with a sympathetic smile. "Hey, if you like, I'll help you study. I guess if you're in a new school, everything can be kinda hard at first. I all ready help Shin with his Japanese, so it shouldn't be to much different."   
  
Ryo looked at him for a moment, before nodding slowly. He wasn't sure if it was safe to trust Touma, but the other boy seemed to really want to help and Touma had been very nice to him. Hesitantly, Ryo smiled. He DID need the help, after all.  
  
"Great, I'll meet you in the library at lunch time. OK?"   
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
Touma knew something was odd very quickly as he sat with Ryo at the library table. The way Ryo was glaring at the textbook in front of him was a rather big tip off. The way he almost seemed angry when Touma asked him questions about what he was reading was the clincher.  
  
Finally, Touma closed the book and forced Ryo to look at him. "You can't read, can you?"  
  
Ryo, once again, blushed. "N-n-not much." He said ashamed, but he didn't seem surprised that Touma had noticed.  
  
Touma wasn't all that surprised. From the way Ryo had been acting, it was pretty obvious. "Don't worry about it." Touma smiled at his new friend. "I'll help you learn." Ryo's face brightened with hope. "Of coarse, we'll have to tell the teacher." Ryo's face fell. "Oh, relax. It won't be as bad as all that. Besides, when she finds out, I'm sure she'll be a little more generous with your work."  
  
Xiu was suddenly with them and flopped down in a chair. "Hey guys! What are you doing in here instead of eating?" Xiu set his bag on the table they were sitting at before sitting next to Touma.  
  
"Some of us study at school." Touma told him with a superior, but teasing, air.  
  
Xiu shook his head, pitying his friend. "Not at lunch time, you don't." With a sweep of his arm, Xiu pushed all of Touma's books (all thirty-eight of them) onto the floor where they landed with a crash and then looked at Ryo. "You have to watch this guy. He forgets to eat if he gets his nose in a book." With a cheery smile, as he ignored Touma's acid looks from where Touma was picking up his books.  
  
"I do not forget to eat!" Touma defended himself. Then he looked down and mumbled, "It just slips my mind sometimes. Why aren't you with Seiji, anyway?" He grinned at Xiu who blushed darkly and mumbled,  
  
"He's busy in the kendo club and I got lonely, so, I thought I come visit you guys. Shin's busy in the home ec room, anyway." Xiu got a dreamy look in his eyes. "He's making okonomiyaki today!"  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo smiled and Touma openly laughed at Xiu's food fixation, but Ryo's smile faded when Xiu began to unpack his bag. No one could eat so much! Seven sandwiches, six bottles of soda, junk food, a whole bag of apples, not to mention a mixing bowl full of rice and three whole fish along with about two pounds of chicken. "Mama always gives me the leftovers from the restaurant." Xiu explained to Ryo when he saw Ryo's stare.  
  
Ryo's stomach started to ache looking at it. He'd eaten this morning, cold cereal and milk, but all that food looked really, really good.  
  
"Say, Touma, did you even bring any lunch today?" Xiu asked, casting his friend a sidelong glance. "Or did you forget that, too?"  
  
Ryo watched as Touma froze for just a moment before looking up with a very forced smile. "I forgot again. You know me, always forgetting something." Ryo thought that this was a very odd reaction. Even Ryo could tell Touma was lying and usually, he was pretty oblivious to such things. Why would Touma lie about lunch?  
  
Xiu kept smiling his fake smile and pushed a large part of his lunch to Touma with a serious expression. "You're starting to get skinny. You've got to remember to eat." Touma smiled gratefully and started eating, though he ate slowly. Ryo wondered if there was something that was going on with Touma, but he didn't ask. It wasn't his business, so he had no right to get involved.  
  
The three boys sat in the library quietly while Ryo tried not to think of his stomach that seemed to be burning. He desperately wanted to ask Xiu for a bite to eat, but granma had always taught him to act with pride. He was from a long line of proud warriors, granma told him. Proud people who would never beg anything.  
  
Ryo's mind flashed back to a day long ago when he'd asked his granma why they didn't go to the local shelter for food and warmth. Back before she'd started getting weak and sick.  
  
***  
  
Granma looked at him sternly as they walked down the streets. "Shelters are for those who have nothing, Ryo. We can not take away from the truly needy." She lectured. "We are able to work for our food and, what we can't earn, we don't need." His dignified grandmother, then stronger, had led him away from the crowded shelter and onto find another, probably, temporary job. Even homeless, she had always been so regal, even dressed in rags.  
  
***  
  
Then again, Ryo thought bitterly as he brought his mind back to the present, proud warriors would never steal, either, but that wasn't beneath his dignity.   
  
"Hey, man, aren't you going to eat? Lunch is almost over?" Touma looked at where Ryo was just sitting, staring at the book in front of him.  
  
Ryo shook his head, but his stomach betrayed him by choosing that time exactly to growl loudly. Both of his friends stared at him before they smiled. "If you forgot your lunch, just say something! You can have part of mine." Xiu generously pushed more of his food to Ryo. Ryo stared at the food and wanted to cry. Food! And he didn't even have to ask for it!  
  
The bell rang, calling them to the next class. Touma and Xiu jumped up quickly, with Xiu helping Touma carry all his books, and said good bye as they hurried to their next class. Ryo, when he was sure they were both gone, Ryo ripped the sandwich in half and ate only one half before wrapping the sandwich back up in the cellophane it had been wrapped in. He chewed slowly, relishing the taste of roast beef, something he'd never gotten to eat before. Still, he'd have to make it last a while, so Ryo opened his bag and scooped the sandwich and apple in. He'd have the apple when he walked from school to Seiji's house and the rest of the sandwich after the work was finished, while he was walking back to the shelter.   
  
Ryo just didn't have the nerve to ask Sister Jo for food to take to school, not when she was so busy and working so hard at the shelter and she was watching granma for him. No, that would just be selfish of him.  
  
Ryo left the library happily and tried to think of a way to repay Xiu for his kindness. Ryo had learned that much from his granma, anyway. You always had to repay kindness. He stopped in the hall on his way to his next class and guzzled water from the drinking fountain to quench the hunger pains and continued his day.  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
After school, Touma walked with Ryo out into the open air along with all the other students. Dad was going to be home today and the thought of what was waiting for him at home was making Touma unbearably nervous. "I can come to your place to help you study someday, if you like." Touma offered. "Maybe tomorrow?"  
  
Ryo stopped walking and looked at his sneakers. "N-n-no." He said in a flat voice.  
  
Touma frowned. "Why not?"  
  
Ryo swallowed hard and refused to look at Touma. "N-n-not a g-g-good idea." With that, Ryo took off running and leaving a confused and hurt Touma behind.  
  
"What was that all about?" Xiu was walked up beside Touma and had apparently seen everything.  
  
Touma scowled at Ryo's back. "He asked me to help him with his school work, but when I offered to go to his house, he said no! Some friend. He acted like I had the plague." Touma was more than a little hurt by this. Ryo had probably heard others talking about him. Touma knew quite well that he was one of the school freaks. The blue haired genius. Somehow, he'd thought Ryo would be different with his stutter and all. He had thought that Ryo would know what it was like to be different. How wrong can you judge a person?  
  
"Well," Xiu looked after where Ryo had gone with a thoughtful expression. "Why didn't you invite him to your house?"  
  
Touma looked at his friend, shocked. "Are you mad!? How can you suggest that?" His mind went to his constantly abusive father. Xiu knew what Touma's dad was like and had even seen the evidence more than once in the form of injuries on Touma's body.  
  
Xiu gave him a meaningful look. "So if you have a reason for not wanting people at your home, maybe Ryo does, too."  
  
Touma stared and them smiled. "My friend, your intelligence is seriously underrate." Then he turned serious. "We'll have to talk to Ryo when we see him tomorrow. I have to go home, Xiu."  
  
Xiu's smile faded quickly. "Are you sure? Sei-kun, Shin, and I are getting together tonight at Sei-kun's house. He's having some wind-ding, some big deal Sabbat. He's serving tea and poppyseed bread." Xiu said in a tempting voice, even though it sounded as if he wasn't really looking forward to the food all that much.  
  
"Candelmas?" Touma asked. Seiji had once told him all the sabbat's he celebrated during the year and this seemed like the right time of year for the Candelmas. Yes, that's right. Seiji was a witch, or was it warlock? He practices Wicca, Touma knew that for sure, anyway. Touma wasn't sure he understood half the stuff that had to do with Seiji's religion, but he knew enough to respect it.   
  
Seiji didn't bother to hide himself away and, as a result, had very few friends. He would have been harassed at school if it hadn't been for the fact that he was a fierce fighter and didn't take crap from anyone. The first boy who'd make a crack about Seiji's 'broomstick' had gone home with a broken nose and a sprained ankle. Not to mention the rather large figure of Xiu looming right behind Seiji also helped to scare away possible threats.  
  
Xiu nodded. "Yeah, he says since it's February second, he wants to celebrate and he wanted me to ask you to come. I'm not really sure what it is, but Sei-kun thinks it's a pretty big deal." He stood in Touma's path, blocking him from simply walking away. "His family won't have anything to do with it, so his friends should be with him, I think. I'm bringing some music and Shin said he'll cook some snacks for us. We're going to party all night, and you don't want to miss out on that. I'm sure you'd have more fun coming to Sei-kun's party than going back home."  
  
"Yeah, Seiji's parties do end up a bit wild, don't they?" Seiji only ever invited friends to his house, which meant Touma, Shin, and (especially) Xiu. When they were all together with nothing holding them back, there was no telling what would happen. "Dad's expecting me tonight and I'll catch Hell if I don't show up. Tell Seiji happy Candelmas for me, will ya?" Touma knew Xiu, and the others, wanted him to stay away from home. But Touma knew his dad was just angry. Mom had left so long ago that Touma really didn't remember her and dad said Touma looked like mom. His dad was just angry, he didn't really MEAN to hurt Touma.   
  
Not really...  
  
  
  
  
  
Continued...  
  
  
Cousin D: OK, folks, how was that? I thought it was much more interesting that the first way the story was turning out.  
  
Evil Little god of Writing: I Like this story. It was good the first time around, but now you're making it even better. Not only are you torturing Ryo, but also Touma with the usual abuse thing, Shin barely being able to speak Japanese, and now Seiji as a practitioner of Wicca.  
  
Cousin D: Seiji doesn't seem all that tormented to me.   
  
Evil Little god of Writing: I'm not talking about Seiji being tormented, I'm talking about the readers. Do you have any idea of the amount of people who will be offended by you turning Seiji into a witch? You'll get a flame for this one for sure!  
  
Cousin D: I'm sorry. You're mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.  
  
Evil Little god of Writing: (Pats cousin D on the head) Good girl! I've taught you well.  
  
Lil' Demoness: You two are bad influences on each other. Can't you think about the nice things? I like Yoko and Joji, very mysterious. How do they fit in the story?  
  
Cousin D: You'll have to wait and see. 


	3. The Stranger

Warning, I'm not nice to Ryo or any other character, now that I think about it.  
  
  
Thanks to everyone who's reviewing, I really appreciate it.  
  
Note: I'd like to thank Sanada Mirako for the information about Wicca sent to me.   
  
Also, my everlasting gratitude to my dear beta readers, Valandra and Zorra, without whom I'd be lost. (I forgot to mention them before! Waaa!)  
  
So everyone knows, I don't mean to offend any witches out there, but I know very little about the religion. I'm getting all my information from books and off the Internet. If I have anything wrong, please let me know so I can make the story accurate. Also, no flames if you're intolerant about Wicca. I'm an equal opportunity writer and that includes religions.  
  
  
  
Now, onto the story!  
  
  
  
  
  
PAIN, JOY, LIFE  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
The stranger  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
'I won't cry!' It was a normal, everyday thing to have friends come to your house, but Ryo knew he'd never have that experience, unless, of course, he wanted to be terminally embarrassed. It wasn't worth the look he knew Touma would give him when he saw Ryo's home. When Touma saw that Ryo couldn't take care of his granma properly or that Ryo often spent his nights scrubbing the kitchen floor because sister Jo was to tired. Not that he was ashamed of the shelter, Ryo knew he was very lucky to have a good place to live, but...he just didn't want anyone to know.  
  
'How could I let Touma see how I live? Oh, now wouldn't that be just perfect! Bring Touma back to the shelter and beg a little more food from sister Jo, so Touma can have dinner with me.' Ryo wanted to curl up and die. He'd never felt so miserable in his entire life.  
  
Ryo ran to catch up to Seiji, who'd gone on ahead, after school. It was Tuesday and that meant it was Ryo's day to work at Seiji's home. Seiji never waited around after school, preferring to go straight home and get to work in his family's dojo.  
  
Seiji never wasted time hanging out after school, he had too much to do. Unless it involved hanging around with Xiu, for whom he had all the time in the world. Ryo had been going to this school for about three weeks now and he was amazed at the relationship between Seiji and Xiu. They were completely opposite in personality and temperament, yet they were like two sides to the same coin, inseparable. Right down to Xiu's fooling around and Seiji's always serious expressions.   
  
Ryo was the first to admit that he wasn't the brightest guy on the face of the Earth, but even he could tell that Seiji and Xiu were in love. It didn't bother him at all, Ryo had known lots of people who fancied that kind of relationship. It did bother him that Touma and Shin didn't seem to think anyone knew about it. While they were trying to protect the reputations of their friends, Ryo could see that it was useless.   
  
'Maybe I'm just to used to the streets.' Ryo thought. 'Seiji and Xiu aren't used to hiding such important or dangerous secrets like that. Then again, Touma had said once that both Seiji and Xiu were fighters and well known for their skill, so that made them both a little safer.'  
  
Seiji paused by water fountain in the park, like he always did, and that's where Ryo caught up to him. In silence they walked back to Seiji's house and Ryo tried not to think about how Touma had looked so shocked and hurt when Ryo had refused to let Touma see his home. 'I'll have to...' What? Explain to him? How could he possibly do that?  
  
"Is something wrong, Ryo?"  
  
Ryo looked up at Seiji, who was looking at Ryo from out of the corner of his eye, but shook his head. Seiji, thankfully, was one of those rare people who didn't ask uncomfortable questions. He seemed perfectly content to allow Ryo his silence. Though Seiji was almost a full head taller than Ryo, Ryo wasn't intimidated by the blonde. Seiji had a kind of peace that surrounded him and gentleness in his eyes. Seiji would hear anyway, soon. Touma was a close friend to Seiji and would no doubt tell Seiji what Ryo had done. That brought on another worrying thought. What if Seiji fired him because he been rude to Touma?  
  
"Would you mind a little extra work tonight, Ryo?"  
  
Seiji's sudden question brought Ryo back to reality and he gave Seiji a puzzled look. Extra work?  
  
"I'm having a little party tonight and I need some help setting up. Would you mind?" Seiji looked at Ryo from out of his one visible eye. There was something odd in his tone, but Ryo wasn't sure what it was. Seiji always seemed calm and in control, there was no real difference now. Only...it seemed like Seiji was nervous about something.   
  
Ryo shook his head, of course he wouldn't mind. If he stayed longer, that would mean more money. Maybe, he could finally afford to buy a properly fitting uniform. Maybe, it would help take his mind off Touma.   
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
Seiji knew there was something bothering Ryo. He was very good at reading people and Ryo was distracted by something. They walked together and Seiji wondered if Ryo had heard about him and Xiu. It worried him occasionally that someone would find out he was infatuated with his best friend, but Ryo didn't seem like the kind of person who'd hold that against him like that. It must be something else. 'He was talking to Touma after school,' Seiji thought, remembering that he'd seen the two talking at the school's gate. 'I'll ask Touma when I see him again.'  
  
  
  
Later-  
  
  
  
  
"The dojo is yours." Grandfather told Seiji after he'd dismissed his last class of the evening.   
  
"Thank you, grandfather." Seiji waited for the dojo to empty of students, and for his grandfather to leave, before he did anything. He'd always disliked doing things in front of crowds, and now he wanted a little privacy. Not that he was ashamed of his skill, but he was just shy. In fact, Seiji was quite proud of his talent and he worked very hard to be the best.   
  
When the dojo was empty, Seiji went to the weapons wall, an ornate display of all the weapons grandfather taught, and choose his favorite. The no-datchi (long sword) was what grandfather had trained Seiji to use, ever since Seiji's earliest memories, fostering Seiji's love of the immense weapon. The no-datchi, though a fine weapon, didn't feel right in Seiji's hand. It was as if it were...off. Like something was missing. However, grandfather never bought anything but quality from the finest metal smiths in Japan, so Seiji knew the sword was perfect. There must be something wrong with him and therefore he kept practicing.   
  
As he swung the sword in graceful arches, Seiji thought about the boy toiling away in the garden just outside. He wouldn't go so far as to call Ryo a friend, yet, but Shin certainly liked him and Shin was a very good judge of character. If he said someone was honest, they were honest, there was no question.  
  
Still, Seiji had known people who'd turned out to be less that ideal friends once they found out about his faith. That was nothing, though, compared to the few who'd managed to find out about his relationship with Xiu. So far, Seiji hadn't told anyone but Touma and Shin. Ryo didn't seem like he'd be the type to just turn on a person, but Seiji didn't want to take chances. It wasn't worth the pain of letting someone get close and then have them look at you in disgust. No, the only people Seiji could trust were Touma, Shin, and Xiu. Ryo would have to prove himself.  
  
Seiji hadn't realized how long he'd been doing his workout or how lost in his thoughts he was until he noticed Ryo standing in the doorway, watching him. Seiji didn't stop, though. He knew he was damned good with his sword, so it didn't bother him to have someone watch. He'd been in enough competitions, after all, even though they were nerve-wracking events with so many eyes on him.   
  
When he had finished, Seiji lowered the no-datchi and turned to look at Ryo. Ryo was dressed in the ugly sweat suit he'd been wearing the first day he'd come to school, and looked like he was breathing a bit hard from the work.  
  
Ryo had diligently come to work every Tuesday and Friday afternoon to clean and help out around the house, and he was indeed a hard worker, just as he'd said he was. Even now, Ryo was dirty and slightly sweaty from setting up the bonfire and cleaning up the winter mess from the garden. Nothing was growing, now, but it was still hard work setting up for Candelmas.   
  
"Did you like the show? My work out, I mean?" Seiji asked softly, not moving from his spot in the center of the dojo floor. All right, so maybe he was a little vain.  
  
Ryo nodded and smiled shyly before licking his lips, a sign, Seiji had noticed, that signaled he was about to speak. "I u-u-use kat-t-tanas.  
  
"Really?" Seiji blinked in surprise. Somehow, he wouldn't have thought of Ryo as a swordsman. Ryo was to skinny, for one thing, he looked far to weak to lift even the lightest of katanas. There was no possible way Ryo could lift Seiji's no-datchi. "Where did you learn that?"  
  
Ryo's face fell and darkened and Seiji wished he hadn't asked.   
  
"M-mom." Ryo looked for a minute like he might either cry or lash out at whatever was in arms reach. Then, he sighed and all the fight drained out of him. It was like Ryo knew getting angry wouldn't help this particular problem.  
  
Seiji dismissed the idea of asking about Ryo's mom, it was obviously something he didn't want to talk about and Seiji knew that feeling all to well. Instead, he changed the subject. "Class is finished, you can start cleaning whenever." He turned and hung the no-datchi on the wall with the other weapons in the displayed collection while Ryo went to get out the mop and broom in the hall closet.  
  
  
  
  
Seiji sat on the steps just outside the dojo to cool down. It wasn't as cold today as it usually was, but the cool air felt so nice and refreshing right now. From here, he could also watch Ryo while he cooled off. Ryo, for his own part, paid Seiji no attention at all. He simply worked and pretended that Seiji wasn't watching him. About an hour later, a heavily sweating Ryo paused while he was scrubbing the floor and sat up. Sitting back on his knees, Ryo pulled off his dirty gray sweatshirt and Seiji almost gasped at the condition Ryo was in.  
  
"He is a hard worker."   
  
Seiji didn't have to turn to look at his grandfather who was now standing next to him. He'd heard the man walk up behind him several minutes ago.  
  
"Yes," Seiji answered. "But, I didn't realize he was so thin." It disturbed him to no end that he hadn't noticed it before. That must be why Ryo wore all the baggy clothes. 'I should have seen it!'  
  
Ryo threw his sweat shirt aside and continued his work, still ignoring his audience. Where or not he was embarrassed or just didn't care about how he looked, Seiji didn't know. Seiji could clearly see Ryo's ribs and his arms were painfully thin. From the back, Ryo's spine stood out horribly, like a knotted rope under his skin. He must were all the baggy clothes to hide how thin he was. How could Ryo find strength to do anything?  
  
"Have you asked him why he wants to work so hard?" Grandfather asked Seiji.  
  
Seiji shook his head. "I presumed that he wanted to make a little extra money. It must be more than that."   
  
Grandfather just took it all in as they watched Ryo start to wash the windows in the dojo. "It seems as if he needs this job very badly. Perhaps there is another way you can help him." Grandfather suggested before he left.   
  
Seiji thought about this while Ryo worked like a dog and couldn't think of anything he could do. Grandfather Date didn't approve of Seiji's religion and really didn't understand it. Did grandfather really think Seiji could just wave a magic wand and make everything all better? There was no magic that could cure so simply, especially when Ryo was so badly off.  
  
Then again, maybe something more mundane was in order. Often, the simplest things were most effective. With that though, Seiji went into the house to brew up some of his special tea and brought it out to Ryo along with a snack.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why don't you stay a while, Ryo? I'm having a party tonight with Xiu, Shin, and Touma. Will you join us?" Seiji stopped Ryo just outside the dojo as Ryo was wiping the sweat off his face and the back of his neck with his sweatshirt. 'What on Earth made me say that?!' Seiji never invited anyone over but his closest friends.  
  
Ryo looked away, pulling his sweatshirt back over his head. He looked doubtful and then shook his head and motioned with his hand toward the door, trying to say that he had to go. "G-g-granma waiting. Gotta go h-h-home."  
  
"You know, I was thinking, perhaps it is just lack of practice that makes your stutter so bad." Seiji persisted, trying to be polite with the sensitive subject, unwilling to let Ryo just walk away. "I know that others must tease you about it and that it why you don't speak. You can speak to me freely and I won't laugh. None of us tease Shin and you know what a hard time he has talking."  
  
Ryo looked at him with hope growing in his eyes. Seiji could see him considering the offer, weighing the offer in his mind, before nodding. Seiji let himself have a small smile. "Then you must speak to me, Ryo."  
  
Ryo licked his lips and concentrated. "T-thanks." It came out pitifully slowly, but at least it wasn't as bad as usual. Ryo smiled shyly at his new friend, looking pleased with how well he'd done.  
  
"No problem. Tell me, why do you want to work for us? This is a hard job, I know." Seiji gave him a cup of tea, from the teapot he'd brought outside. "It's good for you, drink up."  
  
Ryo shrugged. "B-better job than ot-thers." He took a sip of the tea, but scowled at the taste and gave Seiji a funny look.  
  
"It won't kill you. Drink up. Now, what other jobs?"  
  
Ryo set the teacup back down on it's tray and looked away from Seiji. He really didn't want to answer that, it seemed. Seiji knew Ryo was hiding something. Ryo wasn't a very good liar and he'd been hiding something since he'd first started coming to school. At first, Seiji had though it was because Ryo couldn't read. Xiu had told him what Touma had said about Ryo not being able to read.   
  
Seiji saw the pained look in Ryo's eyes before changing the subject, saying, "I'll see you at school tomorrow. The invitation is always open, if you decide to come. Bring your grandmother, also."  
  
Ryo liked his lips, thinking, and then shook his head, no. "S-s-she doesn't l-" Ryo paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Like v-" Another pause before continuing, "Visiting." Ryo was starting to sound strained, he really didn't want to talk and Seiji could see the signs that Ryo was starting to get angry. There was a tightness that formed around Ryo's eyes when he was getting angry and a tick in his forehead.  
  
Seiji nodded and decided that he'd pushed his luck with Ryo enough for one day and that it would be best to drop the subject now, before Ryo exploded. "Here's your pay." He handed Ryo a handful of yen. "If your grandmother feels like visiting for a hot meal, tell her that you are both welcome."  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a bad night. No, perhaps bad was a bit of an understatement.   
  
Touma curled into a ball on the floor, with his arms wrapped around his head to protect it.   
  
Thump!  
  
Slam!  
  
Touma had been like this forever, it seemed, just cowering on the floor. He knew he was shaking, but just couldn't seem to stop. Another kick connected with Touma's back and he bit back a grunt of pain.   
  
"Little Shit!" The curse shot through Touma more surely than any arrow ever could. "Just like your God damned mother!"  
  
It went on like this with occasional cursing and Touma had been spit on more than once. Touma's world was spinning violently and he forced his mind blank. A vast black nothingness where no words or blows could hurt him was his own private spot, where no one could touch him. Touma lost himself in the void of his own mind, finding comfort in the silence and in the coolness he imagined against his skin.   
  
Sometimes, Touma wished he could lose himself here. No one would ever touch him again...  
  
"I'm sorry." The voice, filled with sorrow, broke through Touma's mind dragging him back to reality. Dad's large hand started petting Touma's hair and Touma curled himself up tighter, not quite willing to leave his protective void. It was hard to tell what dad was going to do when he was in this condition. Touma didn't even know what had brought on this attack...no...dad was just angry. This wasn't an attack, dad wasn't the enemy. He was just angry sometimes.  
  
Touma let himself drift out of his void and back into the apartment he lived with his dad. Pain washed over him when Touma left the void and he almost wished he didn't have to leave it. Reality wasn't the most pleasant of things, to Touma.  
  
"I'm sorry." Dad whispered softly again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, Touma. Oh, God, I didn't mean it." He dissolved into sobs, all the while petting Touma's hair like was a wounded animal. In the end, Touma slowly peeked out of the shelter of his arms and sighed. His dad looked so pitiful in this condition, unshaven and sallow skinned from days spend without sunlight.  
  
"It's OK, dad. I'm not hurt." Touma spoke softly, in a voice he knew from experience would calm his dad. "I'll be OK." This was why Touma couldn't lose himself in the void. Dad needed him. Who'd take care of dad if Touma weren't here?  
  
Dad blinked at Touma and swayed slightly. "I don't want to hurt you, Touma. You know I love you, you're my son. I never wanted to hurt you."   
  
"I know, dad." Touma slowly sat up, careful of his back and he felt something warm running down the side of his face. Touma put a hand to his face and hissed in pain when he touched the large cut. Shit!   
  
'Shin's going to raise Hell when he sees this.' Shin was notorious for that sort of thing. God help anyone who crosses that boy's path when it involved a friend.  
  
Dad was crying, now, and Touma felt like his heart was going to break. "Go to bed, dad. I'll clean up out here." Yeah, dad needed to rest. Rest would make him feel better in the morning.  
  
Obediently, as if he were the child, dad stood up shakily and staggered across the small apartment to his bedroom, still muttering that he'd never wanted to hurt his son, and closed the door behind him.   
  
Touma sat on the floor, utterly still, while he listened to the muffled sounds of his dad crying. Touma sat there on the floor, not wanting to move because of the pain shooting though the side of his head. He was quiet until the crying in the other room slowed and then stopped and Touma knew his dad was sleeping.   
  
A nearby chair was need to haul himself to his feet and Touma had to lean against a wall until the world stopped spinning and he was able to stand without the danger of falling down. After limping to the bathroom, Touma started washing his face. He didn't know how bad it was until he looked up into the mirror that hung over the sink.  
  
Shit. Double shit.  
  
Touma's face had been busted up pretty good, even his eye was bleeding, dying the white part of his left eye bright red. His blue hair was all ready matted with drying blood that had run down the side of his face. Fighting back tears, Touma finished washing his face, cleaned his hair, and washed up any little cuts he found. After that was done, Touma checked all his teeth and was happy to find that none of them had been loosened this time. He would have a nasty scar if that cut of his cheek didn't heal well, though.  
  
He cleaned up the mess dad had made and then Touma locked the door of the apartment on his way out. He needed to get out for a while, to find some food, if nothing else. Touma ended up wandering the city with his face lowered, wondering what he should do. Shin's family would put him up for a night, but he really didn't want to take advantage of Shin or his moms. They, like Xiu's family, were really too good to him. Touma couldn't count the number of times he'd run to one family or the other, begging for a place to sleep for the night. He hated doing it, but he knew he wouldn't be turned away.  
  
Tonight was different. Touma didn't want to see friendly, sympathetic faces. He didn't want anyone's mom giving him pitying looks. Touma kept walking, going in circles and passing the same stores several times. He had no idea where he was going, he just didn't want to be home.  
  
'I could go to Seiji's party. He never ends them before midnight, anyway, so everyone will still be there.' Touma thought. They would welcome him and Shin would still be there with soft words and his inborn kindness. He'd also be swearing vengeance on whoever had done this to Touma, but Touma didn't want his dad to get in trouble and he knew if Shin got angry enough, he was going to call the police on Touma's dad. Shin was the greatest friend Touma could ask for, but he was also harsh and vindictive when it came to protecting those he cared about. It had been hard enough to keep Shin from calling the cops before this, but Touma didn't think Shin would keep quiet if he saw Touma like this.  
  
Seiji could probably make the pain go away with a few gentle touches or one of those vile smelling pastes he made. It might be worth it to face Shin's fury to let Seiji take the pain away. Touma paused, mulling over this thought, when he happened to look into a store window, reminding him of what he looked like. He saw his face again and knew he wouldn't be going to Seiji. His friends had seen him pretty bad, but never this bad.  
  
Touma kept walking for the longest time until he was just to bloody tired to move anymore. His leg was killing him and he though that maybe he'd lost to much blood from his head wound as he started feeling dizzy, so he sat on a curb to rest.  
  
"Hey, kid."  
  
Touma looked up to see a handsome, well-dressed man smiling down at him.  
  
"You look like you've had a rough night."  
  
"You wouldn't believe it." Touma muttered, putting a hand to the side of his still aching skull. Part of his mind was screaming at him that meeting strangers on the streets at this time of night was a very bad idea, but everything seemed kind of cloudy at the moment.  
  
"Now, who would want to mess up a good looking face like yours?"  
  
Touma scowled. He might not to thinking quite straight at the moment, but even he could hear smooth undertones in the man's voice. Touma looked away in the hopes that the man would go away. No such luck would be granted to him this night.  
  
"Come on, kid." The man sat beside him on the curb and gave Touma a friendly smile. "You can tell me."  
  
"I'd rather not." Touma said as coldly as he could.  
  
"Do you have a place to stay?"  
  
"What?" Touma finally looked at the man, confused about the question.  
  
The man sighed, almost sadly. "I've seen this a thousand times. Tell me, was it your dad who beat you or your mom's boyfriend? Maybe your boyfriend?"   
  
Touma flushed, but didn't answer. He didn't know if he was more embarrassed that the man suggested he was gay or that the man had known someone was beating him. He chose to keep quiet and wished he could find the strength to stand up, but everything seemed so hard. Just breathing hurt and Touma wondered if maybe his dad had hurt his lungs.   
  
"Don't be embarrassed, kid." The man said, seeing his blush. "Like I said, I've seen it all before. Lots of young people getting thrown onto the streets because some bastard doesn't treat them right. What did you do, burn dinner? Maybe you forgot to take out the garbage? Some other stupid reason, no doubt."  
  
Touma didn't like this man, but he seemed to make so much sense. The man spoke softly in smooth tones, but he was sitting entirely to close for comfort's sake. "I didn't to anything. It's not your business, anyway. Look, I just want to be alone." Touma finally managed to push himself to his feet and started to walk away, even though it still hurt so damned much.  
  
Unfortunately, the man was right beside him quickly. "I understand, but this is a dangerous part of town at this time of night, especially. I can give you a place to spend the night and you can leave in the morning. I have some other people staying with me who are in the same situation that you're in."  
  
"I don't want anything. I just want to go home." Touma insisted.  
  
"Of course you do." The man moved, shifting himself so he stood in Touma's path. His attitude grew more forceful instantly. "I'm sure at home another round of pain is waiting for you."  
  
Touma started backing away, truly frightened. "That's not true." But Touma sounded weak, even to himself. "Dad didn't mean it..."  
  
"Then what did he mean? Was it just a love tap gone wrong?" The stranger shook his head, pityingly. "You don't have to stay there, you know. I can make sure your dad never hurts you again. I'll make sure you stay safe and you'll have a place to live and plenty of food to eat." The offer was tempting, but Touma didn't like the way this guy was looking at him.  
  
Touma had kept backing away from the man while the stranger was talking and moving towards Touma until Touma backed into a brick wall and froze. There was nowhere else for him to run and the man kept coming closer until they were practically nose to nose.  
  
The man reached out a hand and brushed aside a lock of blue hair that kept falling in Touma's eyes. "You'd be very pretty once we let these injuries heal, a very pretty blue bird, and put a little meat on your bones. There are lots of people who would pay good money for you, kid."  
  
Touma's mind blanked with horror for a split second and the man leaned in closer.   
  
"Just think about it. I won't let anyone hurt you, you'll never have to go back to the bastard who did this to you, you'll be warm and fed. I'll even give you something to make you feel very, very good." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic envelope filled with white powder.  
  
Hurt and confused as he was, Touma had never been accused of being stupid. "Oh, shit!" He cried and tried to make a break for it when the man caught his arm. "Get the Hell away from me!" He said, trying to break free, but the stranger was far stronger than he looked and didn't let go.   
  
The man smiled sweetly. "Now, that's no way to act to someone who's trying to help you. I can make all your problems go away." Again, he backed Touma into the brick wall and pinned him there with his own body.   
  
Touma felt sick to his stomach and he started to cry, he was just so fucking scared! 'Don't let him touch me!' Touma prayed to any god or goddess who would listen. 'Please, don't let him touch me!'  
  
"No need to cry." The man's smile melted into a smirk. With one hand on Touma's chest, the man used one gloved hand to wipe away a tear on Touma's cheek. "I'll take care of you from now on."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued...  
  
  
Lil' Demoness: You can't leave us hanging like that! What's going to happen to poor little Touma?  
  
Evil Little god of Writing: I can guess! I can guess! Oh...ran away from home, abused, starving, weak, defenseless, and he meets his first pimp. I just KNOW what's going to happen. I'll help with the next chapter, I promise.  
  
Cousin D: You THINK you know what's going to happen.  
  
Evil Little god of Writing: What do you mean? Awwww, I wanna see rape! You're not giving into Lil' Demoness' sappy ways, are you?  
  
Lil' Demoness: Is it true? Will you let me have Touma? ElgoW has all the fun lately. It's all pain and torture and I never get anything more than a few lines here and there. I deserve a little more!  
  
Cousin D: You don't think I'm going to tell that where all the readers can see this, do you? Come into the other room and I'll tell all... 


	4. Hunting

Many thanks to all the readers and reviewers.  
  
I'd also like to thank Zorra and Valandra, because Zorra will hurt me if I don't:) They're my lovely beta's and I'd be lost without them.  
  
Please let me know what you think.  
  
  
  
  
  
PAIN, JOY, LIFE  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
Joji-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I slammed my fist into the back of his neck and he slumped limply to the ground.  
  
All right, so maybe I'm not the nicest guy in the world.  
  
The kid Shit Face had been holding up against the wall looked up at me, terrified. I'm not that scary, am I? Ryo's never afraid of me and he's about this kid's age. Still, the boy kept himself safely backed against a wall, trembling with fear. He'd been beaten tonight, but that probably wasn't Shit Face's fault as he doesn't like to mess up pretty faces.  
  
The boy stayed frozen against the wall, too stunned or afraid to move, with his breath coming out in irregular gasps as he forced himself to keep breathing. I looked down at Shit Face and knew he wouldn't wake up anytime soon. I've been waiting a long time to do that.  
  
Yoko went instantly to the blue haired boy and cautiously put a hand on his shoulder, as if she was afraid he was going to bolt. "Are you OK, Sugar? Did that bastard hurt you?"  
  
The boy looked at her slowly, like he was in shock, then shook his head. "I...I think he...I'm OK." The words came out slow and haltingly, but the kid seemed to be getting himself back together quickly. "I have to go home."  
  
Yoko was fast, though, and grabbed his arm first. "Hold it, Sugar." She took a close look at his face and at his still shaken appearance. "You're not going anywhere tonight."  
  
The boy's eyes widened with fear and God only knew what was going through his head. The boy jerked away from Yoko, starting to run down the deserted street. "Joji, catch him!" Yoko cried at me. I took off after him.   
  
It wasn't difficult to catch him. The boy had lost a lot of blood, from the look of him, and he was limping badly. Whoever hurt him had done a pretty good job of it. I managed to grab his arm and pull him to a stop, but he was a fighter. When he realized he couldn't get away from me, the boy started trying to fight, hitting and kicking for all he was worth. I had to end this or the boy was going to seriously hurt himself. In the end I tripped him and knelt; with one knee on his back so he couldn't get up. Both of my hands pressed down on his shoulders, keeping him pinned down until he finally ran out of strength and stopped fighting.  
  
"Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. Don't hurt me." The boy was muttering half to himself while he trembled under me. His eyes, though not closed, were fluttering and I think he almost fainted.   
  
"While I'm here, no one will hurt you." I whispered, leaning down close to his ear.  
  
The boy took a deep, shuttering breath and forced himself to look at me. "Let me go. Please?" God, he's so desperately afraid.  
  
Yoko was coming, I could hear her stiletto heeled shoes clicking as she ran to catch up with us. I slowly pulled away from him, but stood ready in case he decided to be stupid again and try to run. The boy stayed where he was, face down on the ground for a minute before cautiously standing. We stared at each other, tense and watchful. His eyes looked red, like he wanted to cry again.  
  
At this point, Yoko finally caught up with us, looking distinctly out of breath. Those damned heels she wears slow her down terribly. She looked to the boy first as she knows I can take good enough care of myself. "Geeze, kid, you had me worried to death. Don't run away like that!" She reached out to him, but he jerked away again. He seemed like he wanted to run again, but he looked at me and must have known he wouldn't get away with it, because he relaxed as much as he could.   
  
"We're not going to hurt you, Sugar. You can't go home, because you need to get patched up and fed." Yoko actually looked a little hurt by his reaction, but covered it up well with her smile. "You look hungry, Sugar." Her dazzling smile took the boy full force. "I know this great place around the corner, why don't you come with us for a bite to eat?"  
  
He still looked angry and scared, but not like he was going to run again. In fact, he looked a bit paler. I had to strain to see him in the dim street light, but there was something on the side of his face.   
  
Shit, did I hurt him? After I'd promised him I wouldn't? No, the fight was before I'd given my word, so that meant everything was all right.  
  
"Hey, you're hurt again." Yoko looked closely at the side of his face that had something dark running down his cheek and onto his chin. Several drops of the dark stuff dripped down onto his shirt. That was when Yoko took his hand. "You come with us, Sugar. I know just the person to get this all patched up. You poor thing." Yoko had a nasty habit of giving people she liked cutesy nicknames. That's how Ryo earned the name Angel and now this one was Sugar, apparently. Yoko took his hand and gave him a little tug, but he resisted.  
  
"Who are you?" The boy asked. It was a very fair question. He'd just had a very bad experience with Shit Face and that guy was enough to ruin anyone's day. "I don't want to go anywhere, I just have to get home. My dad will get angry if I'm not home when he wakes up."  
  
Yoko's smile never slipped. "You can call me Yoko and my silent friend is Joji." She pointed to me and I really wish she wouldn't. I'd really prefer to stay nicely nameless. "We're your friendly neighborhood prostitutes." If anything, her smile brightened. "Now, don't you worry. We'll take you somewhere safe and you can go home in the morning. It's to late for a nice boy like you to be wandering these streets all alone, you know. Something bad might happen to you. Now, what's your name, Sugar?"  
  
He thought for a moment, but then gave up on trying to decide if we were the good guys or the bad guys. "Touma."  
  
"It's nice to meet you, Touma. Now, it's getting rather cold out here, don't you think?" She said, rubbing her arms where goose bumps had popped up. "I'd like to go somewhere to warm up." Yoko started off, expecting Touma and I to follow. She's right, it was getting cold tonight and I wouldn't be surprised if we wake up to find some snow in the morning.  
  
Again, Touma hesitated. He looked at Yoko's retreating back and then at me. I stepped further away, to give him his choice. We can't kidnap him, even though it really would be safer if he were to come with us, so if he wants to run now would be the best chance for him.   
  
The boy chewed his swelling bottom lip, then started after Yoko. He walked slower than she did and I walked behind him. I don't think Touma liked this much, because he kept looking at me over his shoulder and then would take a few quick steps as if he wanted to get away from me. Yoko looked far less threatening, I suppose.  
  
Yoko's talking all the time that she's walking and anyone who might chance to hear her, might think that she was talking to herself, but I know she's talking to Touma and trying to put him more at ease. She's walking several yards ahead of us, but that's never stopped Yoko from carrying on a conversation, even if it is a bit one sided. She simply speaks louder and really doesn't wait for Touma to answer any of her questions. It's a good thing, too, because Touma doesn't look like he's in the mood to answer questions.  
  
Yoko never seems to stop talking, unless it's in the middle of sex and then she doesn't make any sound at all. Do I sleep with her? No. She's a friend. Maybe more, but she's not the kind of friend I'd have sex with. I love her, more than anyone else in the world, but...it just wouldn't be right to have sex with her.  
  
We're going home, it's to late even for the customers to be trolling the streets and Yoko's tired. Home is kind of a flexible word. Basically wherever we find a place to sleep. I don't need anything else when I have Yoko, anyway.  
  
Touma seems to be getting worse as we walk, he's starting to slow down enough that even when I'm walking directly behind him, he doesn't notice. Touma's head starts to loll to one side before he shakes himself and tries to focus, but it doesn't last long. Soon, he's starting to stagger while he walks, tripping absently over his own feet and only barely catching himself. It's coming soon, I know. The blood loss and stress are catching up with him and, before he knows it, Touma falls.  
  
I caught him just as he hit the ground and held him in my arms. The poor kid is nothing but bones, so he weighs next to nothing. "Took long enough." Yoko whispered at my side. "I thought he'd never pass out."  
  
I just nodded. It would be nice if this city had one of those charity clinics where we could take him to get looked after properly, but that's not going to happen. I lowered Touma to the ground and looked at his bleeding head. It wasn't terribly serious, but bad enough. I think it was partly all the stress from tonight and what had happened with Shit Face, more than just the blood loss, which had made him pass out. Without being asked, Yoko opened her purse and pulled out a roll of bandages, which she handed to me.  
  
"Always be prepared." She grinned. "My brother was a Boy Scout, you know."  
  
I wrapped Touma's head up and picked him up easily. He's far too thin to be healthy. "How far are we?" I asked.  
  
"Just a little further. I don't know where else to go." Yoko started off and we walked side-by-side. "At least there will be hot food and a warm bed for him. It's really not like Shit Face to do this." She touched his face gingerly. "I wonder who did."  
  
Touma didn't stay passed out long. I have to give him points for his strength. He recovers very quickly, even if he does look kind of scrawny. He started to struggle against me even before he'd opened his eyes. "Lemme go!" He muttered.  
  
"Relax." Yoko said in a singsong voice. "We're taking you somewhere safe."  
  
Touma opened his eyes, but it took him a minute to realize he was being carried. He looked up at me and then he really did fight. "Put me down!"  
  
I did. It wasn't wise to draw attention, as you never knew who might be a cop in street clothes. Touma dropped to his feet and stepped away from me, scowling. He stood still for a minute, still swaying a bit, and then raised a hand to his head. His eyes widened when he felt the bandage. "Thanks." He said softly.  
  
"Don't worry about it." Yoko said lightly, taking his arm. "We have to get there before she closes, though. It's late, but if we're lucky, she'll give us some leftovers." Yoko and Touma walked arm-in-arm down the street with me just behind.  
  
"She who?" Touma wasn't fighting anymore. He seems to think that we might be all right since we tried to bandage his head, but he does pull his arm away from Yoko. At least he's wise enough not to trust to easily. "Where are we going?"  
  
Just as he said that, Yoko stopped at the large windows of an old building. Lights shone warmly from inside and I could see the lady moving about inside, so the doors would still be unlocked for a few more minutes. The building was badly in need of repairs, yet it still managed to seem like a friendly, welcoming place.  
  
"This is it." Yoko announced with an overly grand gesture toward the narrow door. "Home sweet home. Well, for today, anyway." There was a sign just above the door, a newly painted sign with a lamb on it. "Holy Shepherd Home."  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo wished he could have stayed for Seiji's party, but it was getting late and his granma would start to worry soon. It got dark early with the change of the seasons so Ryo found himself making his way back to the shelter when most everyone else was inside all ready. When he was passing the park, an unusually large area that reminded Ryo of their home in the mountains before they'd come to the city, Ryo saw a flash of white vanish into a stand of trees. It took Ryo only a moment to realize what he was seeing and follow the familiar white and black tail.  
  
Through the trees, Ryo followed Byakuen as silently as he could, though he was pretty certain the tiger knew he was there. Byakuen kept to the ground, sniffing occasionally for whatever he was hunting. Ryo got down onto his hands and knees when Byakuen stopped moving and crouched down low to the ground. That was how Byakuen always acted when he'd found what he was looking for. Ryo edged his way up to the tiger's side and saw what Byakuen was looking at, a flock of six or eight pigeons on the ground, pecking for insects.  
  
It was sort of absurd, watching Byakuen hunt pigeons. Byakuen was large enough to easily bring down elephants, yet here he was stalking small pigeons when they'd never be able to sate his hunger. Byakuen would be as hungry as ever even if he ate the entire flock, but there was nothing else to hunt around here and Byakuen was going to starve if he didn't eat.   
  
Byakuen tensed and Ryo froze, not wanting to interfere, as Byakuen pounced, only to have his prey escape in a flurry of feathers. The tiger watched forlornly as they vanished into the night, squawking loudly.  
  
Ryo burst out laughing and rolled onto his side on the ground. "Missed!" He cried out.  
  
Byakuen walked back to Ryo and was clearly unamused by the situation.   
  
'The mighty tiger, lord of the jungle, outwitted by a dumb bird!' Ryo could barely stop howling with laughter. Byakuen swatted Ryo gently, to show he was insulted. "Aw, s-s-sorry, Yaku-c-c-han." Ryo said, sitting up so he could give his best friend a hug. "Where next? N-n-not enough birds, anyway." Poor Byakuen hated living in the city like this where the only trees he got to see were in the park at night and his meat mostly came from rats he caught and stray animals. In the distance a loud barking caught their attention and Byakuen's ears went up to attention as he turned to the sound. "Want a d-d-dog?" Ryo suggested happily, scratching Byakuen behind the ear.   
  
Byakuen gave Ryo's face a long lick and nuzzled him, starting to purr.  
  
  
  
  
  
A half an hour later Ryo sat with Byakuen in a back alley near the shelter, watching Byakuen chew on the remains of a large dog. Ryo watched in silence, almost mesmerized by the dark blood on Byakuen's white fur. Byakuen seemed to notice Ryo's interest and, with his nose, moved a piece of the dog to Ryo. Ryo froze, staring at the meat. This wasn't the first time Byakuen had offered apart of his kill to Ryo and Ryo was pretty sure that it wouldn't be the last time. It was tempting, and that was what frightened Ryo. The raw meat did look rather good. But if granma found out...she'd be so ashamed.  
  
Ryo shook his head and stood up, walking away slightly so Byakuen could finish his meal before they headed back to the shelter. Ryo didn't like himself a lot of the time, and he knew why.   
  
  
  
  
  
Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo was terribly hungry. His stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots and Ryo winced at the pain. He told his granma that he was going to go hunting and try to bring back some meat. As they were living in a more rural area, Wakinozawa, at the time, Ryo knew it wouldn't be hard to bring down a deer or antelope with Byakuen helping him. He'd left his granma at their camp under a simple tent with a small fire for warmth while he went off with Byakuen.  
  
It was night, the best time for hunting, and the sky was lit with thousands of stars. Ryo ran beside Byakuen, keeping a good pace, even with how hungry he was. Soon, Ryo found himself slipping into a trace, focusing on nothing more than the faint trail of the animal they were following. Really, he was following Byakuen, the experienced hunter, and his only weapon was his bare hands. Ryo followed Byakuen's every move, from the running right down to creeping up on the prey and lunging out from behind the bushes and tackling it.  
  
The animal was dead in seconds, Byakuen having clawed its face cleanly off and Ryo knelt down, ready to pick it up and bring it back to the campsite. But...Byakuen licked blood off his claws...the smell of the animal seemed so fresh in the cool night air...Byakuen tore a piece of meat off the carcass with his jaws and started eating placidly. Ryo licked his lips. He was so hungry that it was overpowering, Ryo couldn't stop himself from putting his face a little closer to Byakuen's. It smelled so good!  
  
Byakuen looked at Ryo with his deep brown eyes and moved closer, putting the meat just a tiny bit closer to Ryo. 'Just a little bite.' Ryo thought to himself. 'It couldn't hurt.' He laid a hand on Byakuen's back and lowered his mouth to the meat Byakuen was offering to share with him. 'Just one bite.'  
  
OH GOD! It tasted wonderful! Ryo chewed his mouthful carefully, savoring the warm flesh and he swallowed, desperate for another taste. His eyes instantly went to the rest of the dead meat and Ryo couldn't help it. He tore into the meat as eagerly as Byakuen, devouring along with his friend Ryo tore at the meat with his hands and even, at the end, got on his hands and knees and started to eat directly with his mouth, like an animal. He barely felt the animal's cooling blood running down his chin.  
  
He was gorged, though Byakuen had wanted something more, Ryo felt like his stomach was completely full for the first time in a long time. He started laughing when he'd eaten his fill and raised a hand up to wipe off his mouth. His hand was wet, covered in something black in the moonlight.  
  
Blood.  
  
Reality sunk in and Ryo stared at his blood-covered hand. 'I ate it raw. What would granma think?!' Ryo realized in horror. He started to wipe his mouth harder, dearly wanting to get the blood off his face. The problem was that the more he wiped at his face, the more blood got on his hands and he couldn't even see his face properly. 'Granma can't know! If she knows she'll think I'm a freak! I'll have dishonored the family, acting like this.' Ryo tried very hard not to get blood on his clothes while he scrubbed at his face, but it splattered everywhere and had dripped onto his shirt while he was eating.  
  
Byakuen, as if he could tell why Ryo was so upset, put a paw on Ryo's shoulder and gently pushed his friend to the ground. With his tongue, Byakuen licked Ryo clean, taking away all traces of blood from both hands and face. Ryo just lay there and cried, letting Byakuen take care of him. 'I'm not an animal. I'm not an animal.'  
  
Ryo never was able to tell his granma how his clothes had gotten so bloody, but he and Byakuen had managed to bring back another deer. Ryo made sure his meat was almost burned black before he'd eat any of it.  
  
  
  
  
  
End Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
That wasn't right, normal people didn't do that sort of thing. 'I don't want to be like that.' Ryo thought. 'I just want to be normal.'  
  
While Ryo stood, looking out at the few people passing by this time of night, he thought back to Seiji. Every day that Ryo worked at the Dojo, his speech improved, if only a little bit. Seiji made him feel relaxed and confident. He never laughed and only advised Ryo to speak a little more slowly. Now, Ryo could speak almost without stuttering. It seemed like a miracle sometimes.  
  
'Maybe I should have stayed for Seiji's party.' Ryo thought back to Seiji's invitation earlier that night. 'Yeah, except Touma will be there and I don't want to face him so soon. I'll talk to him soon and try to explain...somehow.' Ryo thought of how much fun they were probably having at Seiji's party. He'd never been to a party, but everyone liked them so much, they must be fun.  
  
After a short while, Ryo felt a nose poke him in the back and he turned to find Byakuen ready to go and looking a bit happier. Behind Byakuen Ryo could see the small pile of dog bones. They would have to go out hunting tomorrow night, too. This just wasn't enough to support Byakuen, living on stray mutts and alley cats.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The shelter was nearly closed, but Ryo knew Sister Jo would be awake and cleaning for a good long while. It gave him a stab of guilt to know that he should be there with her, but he couldn't let Byakuen go hungry, either. After sending Byakuen to granma, who was sound alseep, to get some rest, Ryo went to the kitchen. He filled another bucket of hot soapy water for Sister Jo, who was moping the floor and got to work with her. They were alone tonight; strange, as it was getting colder outside. Still, Ryo couldn't complain. Being alone meant that he'd get more sleep and Sister Jo always shared hot chocolate with him when she had a bit on hand.  
  
"Have you finished your homework?" Sister Jo asked when Ryo began washing the tables people had eaten on earlier that night.  
  
Ryo nodded and kept washing. Actually, he had a few more things to do, but if he told her that, she'd make him stop and get his homework done. Ryo just couldn't let Sister Jo clean all this herself. He'd get the homework done later.  
  
They worked in silence for a while when the door banged open and Ryo heard, before he turned around, Yoko's loud, friendly voice. "Hello, Sister! We've brought another lamb for you to tend!"  
  
Ryo turned with a smile that vanished when he saw whom Yoko had brought. Touma, looking like he'd just been run over by a truck, and he was staring at Ryo looking more than a little shocked. 'I don't need this.' Ryo thought. 'I really don't need this.'  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
Touma stared at Ryo. 'No wonder he didn't want me to see his home.' Touma thought, staring at Ryo's stricken expression. No one seemed to notice how they were staring at each other, and Yoko led Touma over to one of the tables Ryo had just cleaned.   
  
"Ryo, Angel, this is Touma. Sugar, this is Ryo, a friend of mine. And this is Sister Jo."  
  
Sister Jo, a small lady dressed as a nun, came right over to me. "You poor thing." She tsked, looking me up and down. "Don't just stand there, kid. Sit down and make yourself comfortable. We've got plenty of food and beds for the night. You'll stay with us. Ryo, dear, go get him something hot to eat, won't you?"  
  
Ryo nodded dumbly and went quickly to what Touma presumed was the kitchen.  
  
"Now, it's none of my business what brings you here." Sister Jo told Touma. "But," She touched his cheek gently. "I really think you should consider getting away from whoever did this to you, young man. This is a safe place, no one will bother you tonight."  
  
"How do you know that?" Touma asked. He won't put it passed his dad to come looking for him or that guy who'd found him on the streets. If it hadn't been for Joji...Touma didn't want to think about what would have happened.  
  
Sister Jo smiled. "We have a secret weapon. Nothing for you to worry about, dear." Ryo came back carrying a bowl of steaming hot soup and a glass of milk. "Ah, here's my little helper." Sister Jo beamed at Ryo, but Ryo still looked worried, staring at Touma.  
  
Yoko and Joji sat at the table with Touma and Ryo went back to the kitchen to get food for them, also. It wasn't much, but it was warm and filling. While they ate, Yoko told Sister Jo that she and Joji would be staying for the night, also, and that it was getting terribly cold outside. There would be snow soon, she was sure of it.  
  
Sister Jo answered that it was fine if the two wanted to stay, but if Yoko's bastard pimp showed his ugly face, she was going to rip a very sensitive part of his anatomy off and turn him into a soprano. Yoko laughed and said she'd probably help. Ryo was, by this time, on his knees, scrubbing under another table and keeping as quiet as he could.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yoko and Joji had fallen asleep, Yoko was mumbling in her sleep and Joji looked like he was dead, so still and quiet. Ryo lay on the cot next to Touma, but neither of them could sleep.  
  
"You should have told me." Touma said quietly. "I wouldn't have told anyone, if you didn't want me to."  
  
Ryo rolled over to face Touma. "Don't need p-pity." He said seriously. "No one's s-supposed to know. Granma don't like it."  
  
"Oh." There didn't seem to be much that Touma could say to that. He'd seen Ryo's granma, though she was deeply asleep, and knew how much she must mean to Ryo. It really wasn't his business if Ryo wanted people to know or not, and he'd sort of stumbled onto Ryo's secret.   
  
Again, there was silence until Ryo gestured at Touma's face. "Who did it?"   
  
"Dad." Touma answered shortly. It wasn't like it was a real secret, all his friends knew, and if Ryo ended up hanging around Touma much, Ryo would eventually find out, also. "He...uh...gets a little worked up sometimes...and..." Touma hated trying to explain this, he never knew what to say that wouldn't make his dad look like a monster.  
  
"Drinks?" Ryo suggested, not looking at all shocked. Touma thought that Ryo must have seen things like this before and suddenly he didn't feel so self-conscious.  
  
"No. He's a Baptist and doesn't believe in drinking. He just gets mad and sometimes...you see, mom ran away with some guy when I was little. It was my dad's brother she took off with and all. Dad says I look like mom and when he gets angry, he gets confused, I think. He's always sorry afterwards, he always cries." Touma swallowed hard and blushed. He'd never told anyone about his dad like that, not even Shin. "Sorry," He told Ryo in a softer voice. "I didn't mean to blab like that. My dad's not a bad guy, he loves me." Touma was very uncomfortable with Ryo's penetrating gaze and quickly changed the subject. "So, what about your parents? What are they like?"  
  
"No p-parents, only granma." Ryo said uncomfortably, but smiled and sat up on the cot. "W-wanna see s-something?" He was obviously trying to change the subject.  
  
Touma nodded and sat up as well. Ryo reached under his cot to pulled out something long, wrapped in red fabric. He smiled shyly and started unwrapping whatever it was carefully, almost reverently. He lay aside the strips of red cloth on the bed beside him and Touma's mouth fell open when he saw what was inside.  
  
"A sword? Where'd you get that?" It was more than a sword and, though Touma didn't know much about swords himself, he knew it was a fine weapon. The blade shone even in the dim light. Its hilt looked like gold and was shaped like a dragon with rubies for its eyes. 'It must be worth a fortune.' Touma wondered why Ryo didn't just sell it and get his granma and himself out of here.  
  
Ryo smiled fondly at the sword. "Mom. She gave it t-to me before she died. It h-has a twin, somewhere." Ryo used one of the red clothes that had wrapped the sword to polish the blade a bit.  
  
"Can you use it?" The only person Touma knew who could use weapons was Seiji.  
  
Ryo's smile faltered. "Used to. I'm n-not to s-strong now."  
  
"If you don't use it, why don't you sell it? You could get an apartment, for a little while, anyway." Touma instantly regretted his suggestion and cringed back when Ryo glared at him.  
  
"M-my mom's k-kat-t-tanta! I'll never sell it!" Ryo started to wrap up the sword again.  
  
"I'm sorry." Touma said. "I just wondered..."  
  
"Tried, once. We were so h-hungry, but granma got mad. S-she said we n-need to keep it." With that, Ryo put the katana safely under his cot again and lay down. "She w-wants me to find it's t-twin."  
  
So, once again, they both lay down. "Ryo?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"You...you won't tell anyone I came here tonight, will you? It's just that Shin gets kind of upset when I get hurt and the others are real protective."  
  
"I won't. You w-won't tell that I l-live here?"  
  
"No."  
  
Touma rolled over, relieved that he now had Ryo's promise and he felt sure that Ryo would keep his promise. He started to drift off, comfortable and safe for the first time in a long time, when Touma was suddenly nose-to-nose with a huge furry white face. Large brown eyes staring at him made Touma's heart start thudding hard in his chest.  
  
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.  
  
Touma inched himself away from the thing, but it came closer, putting a paw that was as big as Touma's whole head up on the cot. It put its nose close to Touma and sniffed him. 'Shit, get me away from that thing!'  
  
"Y-yaku-chan. You're s-scaring him."  
  
The thing looked up at Ryo's voice before backing away from Touma and calmly walking around to cot to Ryo's side. Touma propped himself up on his arms and saw the tiger laid down on the floor beside Ryo's cot. Ryo, without hesitation, crawled off the cot and lay down next to the tiger, falling asleep with a smile on his face. He looked up at Touma. "My b-best friend, Byakuen."  
  
Touma blinked. Ryo laid there with his head on the tiger's foreleg and his arm thrown comfortable over the tiger's neck. When Ryo started to snore, Touma shook his head. Well, if Ryo saw no reason to be afraid then Touma shouldn't be afraid. It must be a tame tiger, even though Touma felt sure there must be some law against keeping a tiger in the city like this.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Continued... 


	5. His Heart Would Break

PAIN, JOY, LIFE  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
It was still dark when Ryo woke and there was no light in the shelters large common room, except for one light, just over the door that was on. Ryo was still on the floor with Byakuen, where they'd fallen asleep last night and the first thing he saw when he woke was Byakuen's dark brown eyes looking at him. Ryo often thought it would be great to be able to talk with Byakuen, but he never could. Looking at Byakuen, though, Ryo could see that Byakuen was smarter than most animals. There was some secret hidden in his dark eyes. Ryo stretched and only then did he see Touma looking down at him with a very serious face.  
  
Touma's eyes were wide open, but not quite focused on Ryo. On his cot, Touma raised a finger to his lips and whispered, "Shhh." And he gestured slightly with his head behind him, as if he didn't dare turn around.   
  
"You can't do this!"  
  
Ryo was shocked to hear Sister Jo's voice raised, almost yelling. Listening carefully, and sitting up slightly so he and Touma were eye level, Ryo heard an ominous sound: Bishop Brannon's voice.   
  
Though Ryo really wanted to stay curled against the warmth of Byakuen's body, he knew he had to find out what was going on. He pulled himself up just a little more, so he could peek over Touma's shoulder at the scene at the shelter's entrance. Touma obligingly stayed as still as possible, pretending to be asleep so the two adults wouldn't notice them.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sister, but this is for the best in the long run." Bishop Brannon was a short man who was a little TOO dedicated to his work. He seemed to think that the word of his religion came first and foremost before anything else, even before the good of the people it served. He was dressed in fine clothes, a long, heavy trench coat and leather gloves.   
  
Sister Jo exclaimed. "For the best? How can you justify saying that?!"   
  
Sister Jo rarely got upset about anything so Ryo knew this was something to be worried about. Ryo looked at Touma who looked worried, but he kept a blank face as he listened. 'Of course he's not worried,' Ryo thought, a bit bitterly. 'This isn't Touma's home. What does he have to be worried about? He's leaving in a couple of hours.'   
  
"What's going on?" Touma whispered.  
  
Ryo just shrugged and peeked over Touma's shoulder to get a better look at what was going on. Sister Jo, still in her white dressing gown, stood with her hands on her hips as she argued. It made Ryo angry to think that Bishop Brannon, that twit, had decided to come by so early that he hadn't even given Sister Jo time to get dressed properly.  
  
Sister Jo waved her arms around, indicating the shelter as she spoke. "We have people who depend on us. Some of these people come here every day and there's a family who practically lives here. One old lady and her grandson don't have anywhere else to go, you're going to force them out onto the street!"  
  
Bishop Brannon took a deep breath and looked at her calmly. "You're taking this to hard, Sister. This shelter is used, from our records, only rarely. The people in this neighborhood seem to prefer using their time for drugs or their 'gang activities'." He said with a sneer. "The money used for this shelter would be put to better use in another city or in different cause altogether."  
  
"Well, what about the people who DO come here?" Sister Jo demanded angrily. "There are no other shelters in the area, they have no where to go!" Like she always did when upset, Sister Jo began pacing erratically back and forth. "They need a warm, safe place to sleep at night. I have on kid who doesn't eat if I don't get him food, what's he supposed to do? Do you want him to start stealing just so he can live? What are they supposed to eat? They'll be hunting through garbage for food if you close us down!"  
  
"Sister Josephine, you're become hysterical." Bishop Brannon said coldly. "Of course I don't want people to steal or eat garbage!" Bishop Brannon turned away from her slightly and put his hands behind his back. "You must understand, it's not just them. It's you."  
  
"What?" Sister Jo's voice faded with shock for a moment when Bishop Brannon stepped in close and reached up to her wimple. He pulled out a single cigarette where she kept her hidden stash.  
  
"I think you need some time back at the nunnery, Sister Josephine. This life in the real world seems to be affecting you badly, if you're giving into vice."  
  
Sister Jo blushed furiously, but didn't deny anything. "If this is about me, sir, then send another Sister to look over the shelter. I'll leave if that's what you want, but you CAN NOT close this shelter! This place is...!"  
  
"Crumbling." Bishop Brannon said sharply. "Decrepit. Are those the words you're looking for?" He handed her back her cigarette and went to the window that looked out to the dark street. Pulling aside one of Sister Jo's home made curtains, he revealed a large crack in the window that had been repaired with duct tape. "Look up, Sister. Your ceiling is peeling and there is no money to repair it. You've got buckets to catch the water when it rains and it leaks through your ceiling. The tiles on the floor are broken. Your walls have holes in them from where some of your more disturbed guests have started fights in here. Face reality, this building is falling apart. In a very short time it will be declared a hazard and condemned. You'll be evicted even without my order."  
  
"What's that mean?" Rowen shifted slightly, bringing his mouth closer to Ryo's ear and whispered.  
  
"Trouble." Ryo whispered back. The last thing he wanted was for Bishop Brannon to know he was there. Their last few meetings hadn't gone very well and Ryo wasn't eager to meet the man again. Ryo didn't like the way this conversation was headed, but there was nothing he could do to help. Bishop Brannon didn't like him in the slightest so it would only hurt Sister Jo if he spoke up. What would be the real trouble would be if Bishop Brannon found out about Byakuen staying at the shelter.  
  
"Well?" Ryo looked back when Sister Jo finally spoke with her eyes narrowed. "What are they supposed to do? You're taking away the closest thing they have to a home and YOU are forcing them into lives of sin. These people will have to turn to steal or prostitution to survive. They don't have any education, most of them, and no skills to speak of. When they're here, at least I can make sure the kids are going to school!"  
  
"Sister Josephine, this is not a home. It's a way station, a place for people to get back on their feet." Bishop Brannon shook his head. "I know you care about them, you've been here for a long time, but you must put some distance between them and yourself. You are here to serve them, not become a mother to every waif, junkie, and whore who wanders in." Bishop Brannon turned on his heel and walked out, apparently having finished his business at the shelter.  
  
Sister Jo cursed, not to softly, under her breath, before going back to her own bed in a separate room. A moment passed before loud sobs could be heard clearly coming from behind her closed door.  
  
Ryo was shaking and Touma looked at him confused. "Who was that guy?"  
  
"Bishop B-Brannon." Ryo answered bitterly. "Ass hole!" Ryo pounded the cot Touma was laying on, just to vent his fury. 'What am I gonna do? Where are we gonna go?' When hitting Touma's mattress didn't help, Ryo turned lay back against Byakuen who growled sympathetically and licked his face with his sandpaper tongue.   
  
Ryo turned to look at his granma, still peacefully asleep, and took her thin, pale hand. 'I thought this was the last stop for us. I thought we'd be safe here.' Ryo bit his lip, trying to think straight. 'I have to find us somewhere else to live. Granma is depending on me and I won't let her down.'  
  
"Is he really going to shut the shelter down? Can he do that?" Touma asked, still lying down.  
  
Ryo nodded. "He can do a-anything he wants." 'How can he do this to us?! What am I gonna tell granma? How can I tell her we have to go back to the streets?' Ryo looked back at Touma's concerned eyes and, for the first time, the thought crossed his mind, 'I'm gonna have to leave my friends.' And Ryo felt like his heart would break.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Wake up, sleepyhead!"   
  
I woke with a start when okasan knocked loudly on my bedroom door.  
  
"You're gonna be late if you don't get a move on!"  
  
"Hai, okasan." I yelled back through the door with a yawn. "I'm coming." Oh, God, I'm so tired! I knew I should have come home earlier last night, but   
Seiji's parties usually went on so long and last night hadn't been an exception. Shin had to smile at the memory, though. Dancing and music all night long, it had been such a blast! Seiji lit lanterns in his garden and Xiu brought his entire collection of CD's. We'd gone inside when the cold got to be to much and watched some movies and I'd made popcorn for everyone.  
  
To top it all off, Xiu had wanted me to listen to some of the new music he'd written and how could I say no? Seiji was a great flute player, but he knew nothing about keyboard music. I don't know why Xiu thinks I'd do any better, if Touma had been there, he'd have been a better critic, I'm sure. Touma plays the drums so he at least knows a little about music. I know what I like, but that's about all. I'm pretty much tone-deaf.  
  
Only one thing had been missing last night. Touma.   
  
I frowned, while pulling on my clothes, but there's very little I could do about Touma's situation. Touma really loved his dad and honestly didn't want to get his dad in trouble. That idiot!  
  
I'll get that bastard in trouble! No good, low-life! He dares to hurt MY friend!  
I swear, one day I'm gonna rip his little pin head off his non-existent neck!  
  
RIIIPP!  
  
I looked down to find I'd torn the sleeve off my shirt and sighed. There goes another one. I really should learn not to get upset when I'm getting dressed. Seiji once asked how I got so good at sewing and I'm sure he'd be surprised if I told him that I routinely destroyed my own clothes and mum made me fix them myself.  
  
By the time I got dressed and ready for school, mum was all ready in the kitchen reading the newspaper. Well, trying to read the newspaper. "Morning, mum." I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek as I passed her on the way to the toaster.  
  
"Good morning, honey." Mum smiled back and turned back to the paper, her forehead creasing when she tried to understand what she was reading. "How was the party?"  
  
"Running to late!"   
  
Mum and I both turned at okasan's voice when she walked into the kitchen, all ready dressed for business. Okasan glided gracefully across the kitchen to mum and kissed her carefully on the cheek; so as not spoil her carefully done make-up. "Good morning to you, too, Ayane." Mum smiled back.  
  
"Ohayo, Jenny." Okasan smiled back before giving me a little scowl of disapproval. "Shin was out well into the middle of the night, you know!"  
  
"He usually is when he's with the boys." Mum answered, easily. "He won't get into any trouble when he's with them." Mum looked up from the paper and took a closer look at me through her thick glasses. "You do look terrible, honey. When did you get home?"  
  
I blushed a little at being mothered so badly. "Ummm, a little after midnight, I think."  
  
Okasan rolled her eyes. "Mucha shonen (foolhardy boy). Anata ni naru byoki (You will get sick)."  
  
'Why does she always do that?' I wondered as I thought through what she'd just said and translated my answer before speaking. "Watashi Yoku, okasan (I well, mother)."  
  
She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and said, in English, "You need to practice your pronunciation, Shin-chan. Pay more attention in your Japanese class."  
  
"Yes, er, hai, okasan." I knew she was just trying to help, but honestly it sometimes felt like I wasn't getting anywhere with learning Japanese! It was just to bloody hard!   
  
"You'll get it, honey." Mum said, understanding his difficulty. "Ayane, what's this?" She pointed to a kanji sign she'd yet to learn and that was the end of the conversation about Shin's nightly activities.  
  
While they talked, I went to the stove to start breakfast. It's one of my chores as mum can't make cold cereal without somehow burning it and okasan can't take the risk of getting messy before she goes to work. I risk a glance out of the corner of my eye at her. Okasan has got to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. She's very small, even shorter than mum, but she's so refined and lady-like she seems almost to perfect to be true sometimes.  
  
Okasan was, of course, Japanese. In fact, it was because of her that Mum and I moved to Japan in the first place. After dad had died...  
  
I looked over at the photo of a man on the kitchen wall. Dad had been gone for so long, if it hadn't been for the picture, I wasn't sure I'd know what dad even looked like. For the longest time it had been just Mum and I. That was before mum had met okasan.  
  
Back in England, mum had been struggling to work out a living working in a local grocery store and we'd lived in a tiny apartment, barely making ends meet. It was a hard life, but not unbearable, not unlike a lot of people. That was before okasan had walked into our lives and sort of taken us by storm. Mum was a working class girl, to skinny to be nicely thin, with a young son, so none of the guys really paid her much attention. Okasan was beautiful enough to be a world-class model with a perfect figure and smart enough that she held several degrees in business and language. She was in England on vacation and she and mum just sort of ran into each other at the supermarket.   
  
It had been love at first sight for both of them and completely unexpected. I was more than a little surprised when mum brought the gorgeous lady home for dinner and then Ayane had moved in with us when I was ten. Talk about shock. Still, it had all worked out in the end.  
  
I was the spitting image of mum and even I could see it. Thin and small with reddish, brown hair and big blue eyes, I knew I was a 'delicate' looking boy. God, I hate looking like this! Why couldn't I look like dad? I took another look at my dad's picture.   
  
Dad had been a big, brawny Irish fisherman, and the photo showed him with his arms crossed over his chest on his small boat. Mum was standing next to him and he was at least a foot taller than she was, with huge, muscular arms covered in hair as red as the hair on his head and his thick beard. The man was literally packed with muscles, probably from his work, and he had a big, sunny smile along with green twinkling eyes. Don't get me wrong. I think mum's real pretty, but...it might be nice to put on a little muscle sometime.  
  
We moved to Japan just a few months ago so okasan could continue her career as a geisha; there wasn't much call for that in England, after all. We've been living here for about six months, but it still seems like a different world. I guess I'm getting used to it, the language and customs and all. I think it's the name change that's the hardest to adjust to.   
  
My real name isn't Mouri Shin. It's Laim Draft, but after mum and okasan...well, they didn't actually get married. I guess you could say they came to an understanding. Anyway, after okasan moved in with us in England, mum changed our last name to Mouri, okasan's family name. Then, when we moved here, I found out it was awkward for people to learn to say my real name and okasan suggested I chose a Japanese name, like a nickname. That was about when I became Mouri Shin.  
  
"Shin chan?"  
  
"Hai, okasan?" I turned away from my frying pan for a minute to look at her. She's all dressed up, as usual, with her fancy kimono and her face painted to within an inch of its life. Okasan works as a geisha, an entertainer, and always looks her absolute best. From what I can tell, she's sort of like a movie star in America.  
  
"Do you mind making some rice with those eggs?"  
  
"Nope." Okasan didn't really like scrambled eggs, so I was used to making rice for her in the morning. I set up a pot of water and turned on the other burner, waiting for it to heat up before I put the rice in. The morning went quietly, as it usually did, until I got distracted. As usual, it was Touma distracting me. "Mum?"  
  
"Yes, honey?" Mum didn't even look up from the newspaper that seemed to be getting all of her attention.  
  
"Can Touma sleep over tonight?"  
  
"I suppose so, if it's all right with his dad." She answered, a bit distractedly. "We haven't seen him for a little while and he's such a nice young man to have around."   
  
"Thanks, mum." It wasn't a solution. Touma could spend the night with us, but he wouldn't stay forever, even if he could. I suppose it's better than nothing, it gets him away from his dad for a night, anyway. I haven't even told mum or okasan that anything's wrong with Touma. They don't know anything and I really want to tell them, but Touma made me promise a long time ago not to. I'm absolutely certain that mum and okasan would help and could help if Touma would let me say something. I can't break my word, though. Touma would never trust me again and he needs to have someone he can rely on.  
  
"Shin!"  
  
I jumped when mum shouted and suddenly came barreling at me. Mum grabbed my arm and hauled my hand out of the pot of boiling water, inspecting it closely.  
  
"What happened?" Okasan looked over mum's shoulder at my hand. I didn't even notice I'd let it slip into the boiling water. Jeeze, how could I not notice? The water was bubbling furiously and steam was rising off the pot. "Shin chan, are you hurt?"  
  
I shook my head, no, but stared at my hand, wet up to my wrist. After being in that pot, it should have been covered in angry welts or at the very least, red. Nothing, not a single mark on my hand, but water dripping off onto the floor.  
  
Mum took a deep breath and a little color returned to her face. "I guess I must have seen it just after your arm fell in, honey." She sounded a bit doubtful, as if she didn't quite believe it, but there was no other explanation. "You pay more attention to your cooking, or I'll start cooking again!" She threatened with a nervous laugh.  
  
"God forbid." I told her with an equally shaky laugh. I have no idea how or why that happened. It didn't think I was so distracted that I wouldn't see or feel what was going on around me. "Um," I suddenly want to be away from here. Mum and okasan are looking at me oddly. "I should go. Touma will be waiting for me."  
  
I gave mum and okasan each a kiss before leaving, but didn't go straight to school. I went to Touma's house first. When I'd come to Japan Touma had been my first friend and ever since then, I'd been very protective of him. It wasn't hard to see that Touma was being abused at home. What was hard to see was that Touma refused to get help of any kind.  
  
We always met at the corner near his house and I stood there I couldn't get my mind off the water. I should have been burned, but it was like something had protected my hand. Foolish, of course, there had to be a logical reason for it. Mum must have been right, she'd gotten my hand out of there before anything had happened and I was just very lucky. I tried to turn my mind away from this and it wasn't to hard, especially after I'd been waiting for Touma for almost twenty minutes.  
  
We always walked to school together, for almost a year we'd stayed with the same routine. That's why it was so confusing when Touma didn't come out of his apartment at seven twenty. Touma was usually very punctual when it came to school. It just wasn't like him to be late, not for anything!   
  
'If his old man's done anything...' I fumed, just about to barge into the quiet apartment as he suspected the worst.   
  
It was then that Touma and Ryo came walking down the sidewalk.   
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
We'd gotten to school just in time, but I'd really had no choice. It had been a real battle with granma that morning. I knew what I had to do, but she wasn't at all happy about it and fought tooth and nail against my choice. I'd won in the end, though it was kind of a hollow victory. Granma was weak and barely able to walk. She couldn't stop me, not if I was really determined.  
  
Shin, Touma, and I walked into class and I was vaguely disappointed to see that the class was full and we were the last ones to walk in. When Touma and Shin went to their seats, I went to the teacher. I could see, out of the corner of my eye, that Shin paused when he saw me heading to the teacher. Touma, thankfully, took Shin's arm and pulled him to their seats.  
  
"Yes, Ryo?"   
  
I turned back to the teacher and took a deep breath. "This is my last day of sc-chool."  
  
She blinked, as if unsure of what she'd heard, and said, "What? Why?"  
  
"I have family b-business." I looked her straight in the eyes without blinking. This was no time for doubt or indecision. "Can't stay here."  
  
She stood slowly, drawing attention from everyone in the class, and looked at me seriously. "You can't just drop out, Ryo. Think about your future, if nothing else. If you're having trouble in your family, things can be worked out."  
  
I really wished everyone wasn't staring and I really wish she wasn't being so nice. Not that what anyone thought mattered anymore. I only had to deal with them for another few hours and then I would probably never see any of them again. I didn't answer her question, but turned and headed to my desk next to Shin. What was she going to do? Expel me for not answering?  
  
The room was utterly silent as I walked up the steps to take my seat and everyone's eyes were on me. Did they have to stare? When I sat, it was under Shin's disbelieving eyes. He looked so shocked and hurt. "Ryo?"  
  
I didn't look at Shin, but turned to look out the window. It would only hurt and I don't want to hurt. I never meant to become friends with anyone, but it sort of snuck up on me. Now I'd have to hurt them when I left.  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
Shin was swearing in English. I'm sure of it, but I really don't have any idea what he's saying.   
  
"#%$@! &*%$! #*^$$^*!"  
  
"Speak Japanese!" I demanded, not even bothering to try and get away from him while we stood in the bathroom. I don't mind if he yells at me, but I want to know what he's saying. When Shin gets worked up, he tends to slip into English.  
  
Shin obliged, translating what he'd just said and I think I blushed since he usually doesn't use such language. "What happen?!" Shin nearly shouted during the class break. "Ryo leaving! You beat half to death! I know you know, so what going on?!" He'd barely waited to get out of the classroom to grab my arm and drag me into the bathroom and pin me up against a wall in the bathroom.  
  
"I can't tell." I answered as calmly as I could, wincing when Shin backed off with a betrayed expression.   
  
"Secrets?" Shin asked and I know why he's upset. Shin and I had promised, when we'd first met, that we'd never keep secrets from each other.  
  
"I promised Ryo I wouldn't tell anyone." I wanted to explain, but it's so hard. "It's important and I really can't tell."  
  
Shin crossed his arms over his chest and pouted, making him look absolutely adorable, and he glared at me. "Stupid!" After that he spent several minutes going though most every English swear he could think of before someone else walked in and he went silent, turning his icy glare on the newcomer who looked at Shin with his furious expression and my heavily bandaged face. He immediately turned on his heel and left without a word, apparently deciding that whatever he had to do in the bathroom wasn't important enough to risk Shin's glare.   
  
Very wise of him, I must say.  
  
After the stranger had left, Shin returned his glare to its proper target: me.   
  
"So, what about you?" Shin gestured to my face and I was very conscious of how Sister Jo had bandaged me up. "Fall down stairs? Walk into a door?" He spoke sarcastically and I gave him a glare of my own. Shin knew what had happened to me, did he have to be a smart-ass about it?  
  
"Naw." I shook my head and tried to act nonchalant about it, coming up with quick half-lie. "I almost got raped last night and I fought back. Surprisingly, a couple of prostitutes rescued me and I spent the night in a homeless shelter. Thankfully, I passed out from blood loss and they carried me to the shelter. If I'd tried to run away, I don't know where I'd have ended up. It wasn't so bad, I got a full meal for once and it was nice and warm there."  
  
Shin lost all his anger in a heartbeat and his mouth fell open. In the heartbeat that followed, Shin launched himself at me and threw his arms around me. "Oh, Touma!" He wailed with tears in his eyes. "I didn't know! You all right? I didn't think you went through so much! Waaaaa!"  
  
I patted his back, reassuringly. Boy, this situation had certainly turned around quickly. "Geeze, calm down. I'm fine." Shin continued to worry over how he'd yelled at me. Yeah, I felt a little guilty, but at least he wasn't yelling at me anymore. It wasn't a lie at all and this way, it got Shin's attention away from my dad.  
  
When Shin wasn't looking, the door opened and I looked up in alarm only to see that it was Xiu. He gave us a puzzled look, but left, closing the door behind him. I knew he would be just outside, preventing anyone else from coming in until Shin and I came out. He'd want a full explanation, naturally, but he'd keep everyone out if he had to break a few heads to do it.  
  
Shin eventually pulled away from me and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Sniffling a little, he gave me an apologetic look. "Sorry." He said. "Got your shirt wet."  
  
"Hey, its no big problem..." Maybe I'd get lucky and Shin would forget all about my dad.  
  
"Your dad beat you again."  
  
Aw, shit. "Look, Shin..."  
  
Shin waved his hand as if to dismiss whatever excuse I was going to give. "Don't lie. I can tell if you lie. Tell me truth. If you can't tell Ryo's secret, tell me yours."  
  
I leaned my head down onto Shin's shoulder and put my arms around him, just resting there. Shin was the only guy, heck, the only person; I could feel completely comfortable with. He just made everything feel all right. With any other guy, being in such an intimate position, with out bodies pressed together and arms around each other, would be awkward at best. Not with Shin, though. Don't ask me why, we'd only known each other for a few months and he was always yelling at me, but it was a fact.  
  
"I'll tell you everything, Shin. Not here, not now." The last place I wanted to share last night's adventure was in the boy's bathroom. This would wait until after school, at least.  
  
Now all I had to worry about was what to do about Ryo.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Continued... 


	6. Don't You Trust Me?

PAIN, JOY, LIFE  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 6: Don't You Trust Me?  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
"I've only got a week until Bishop Brannon comes back to close us down, permanently." Sister Jo sadly told Ryo and his granma as they sat together. Granma was on the cot she'd been using since they'd gotten here and Sister Jo was sitting next to Ryo on his cot with her head bowed in her hands. "You're more than welcome to stay until then, but you'll have to start looking for somewhere else to live." She started to cry softly. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could do more for you."  
  
"Now, now, dear." Ryo's granma patted Sister Jo's arm gently with an understanding smile. "Don't you feel so badly. Ryo and I will be just fine."  
  
Ryo nodded, hoping to make Sister Jo feel better, but not seeing how his granma could be so unconcerned. In one week they would be on the streets, hungry, and probably freezing unless the weather warmed up unexpectedly. Ryo sighed. He'd have to find somewhere out of the weather for his granma and another job, if he was lucky. Cleaning Seiji's dojo didn't pay enough for food, clothes, or granma's heart medicine.  
  
It had been just yesterday morning that bishop Brannon had told Sister Jo that he was closing the Holy Shepherd Home and now the shelter was empty except for Ryo and his granma. Everyone else had already moved on to find another shelter or just somewhere to keep warm.   
  
For the first time in over a month, Ryo wasn't on his way to school. 'I never thought I'd miss school.' Ryo thought absently as he sat next to his granma. His mind filled suddenly with the images of his friends. Cool and compassionate Seiji came first with his ever-serious face and then Xiu, as loud as his boyfriend was silent. Ryo almost laughed. Even in his mind, the two wouldn't be parted. Touma with his own problems as big as Ryo's and hot-tempered Shin came next, a strange pair who also appeared side by side in Ryo's mind.   
  
'No!' Ryo told himself firmly. 'I won't think about them.' It didn't do to dwell on things he couldn't have; Ryo had learned long ago wanting something didn't make it happen.  
  
While Sister Jo spoke, Ryo scratched Byakuen's head and the tiger looked up at him mournfully as if he understood the crisis his little family was facing. Byakuen put a paw up on Ryo's lap and growled, sounding like he was asking a question.  
  
'I don't think you can help, Yaku-Chan.' Ryo thought, though grateful for his friend's presence. 'Granma's to weak to help; so I'm gonna have to do this on my own.' Ryo took a deep breath. 'I can do this.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Later that day-  
  
  
  
  
  
What Ryo found was more or less a disappointment.  
  
The place barely worthy of being called a hovel. Even in Ryo's opinion, and he'd lived in some pretty bad conditions. Still, it had a roof and seemed solid enough. It was apparently deserted and close enough to the main part of the city that Ryo felt sure he'd be able to find some work. What more could he want?   
  
Besides, it would only be for a little while and then Ryo would be able to find them a better place to stay. A spot would surely open up in one of the other shelters or maybe he would be able to find another job.  
  
The building was actually and old gas station that looked like it hadn't been used in thirty years. The paint had been stripped by the weather over the years of neglect and everything seemed to be either rusted or falling down. Weeds were growing in through the floor, but it was stable. Plus, it was in the same neighborhood as the shelter and Ryo was thrilled that maybe...just maybe...he'd see his friends again. Even if it were just passing on the streets, Ryo would love to be able to see them again.  
  
There had been no shelters for miles in any direction and even in the near by bigger cities all the shelters Ryo had found were full to the brink and weren't allowing anyone else in.  
  
At the end of the day, with the sun setting, Ryo made his way back to the Holy Shepherd Home, exhausted, but pleased with his day's work. It wouldn't be very nice, but at least they'd have a place to stay. While going back to the shelter, Ryo saw Yoko and Joji hanging around on a corner and, for the first time, he didn't call out to them.  
  
'I won't ever do that.' Ryo swore to himself. 'I'll find another way.' He watched Joji light a cigarette while Yoko laughed loudly about something. In the twilight dimness Ryo focused on Joji for a minute. Today, Joji was in jeans, but no shirt, only a black vest. As usual he bore a kind of dead expression. Joji was beautiful, just as Yoko had said, but he was so unhappy. Ryo never had the nerve to ask how either of them had ended up out here, but it must have been horrible. Yoko with her frozen smile and Joji who had closed himself off so completely.  
  
Looking at them, Ryo had a sudden image of himself in Joji's shoes. He saw himself barely dressed and offering himself to anyone with enough money to rent his body. Letting someone touch him and...kiss him...and...and...Ryo stopped himself from reliving painful memories. There was no sense in it. He had no reason to drag up such things.  
  
A woman passing by ran her hand down Joji's chest, appreciatively, and Joji didn't even acknowledge that he was being fondled as the woman passed on with a giggle. Joji didn't care about himself anymore, that much was painfully obvious.  
  
'I'll never do that!' Ryo hugged himself, when a man stopped to talk business with Yoko. 'Never.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Days later-  
  
  
  
  
Ryo's next task, while his granma was still safe at the Holy Shepherd Home, was to find another job or two. It wasn't as easy as he'd hoped. Ryo went to stores, offering to do sweeping up and cleaning, but no one would even consider him. He went to office buildings and offered to run errands. He was kicked out by security. Ryo eventually ended up at a construction yard, promising to do any little job for a bit of money. They couldn't take him on because it was a liability to have a kid on the work site.   
  
'Damn, damn, damn!' Ryo thought, trudging back to the shelter in a mood that matched the grey, overcast day. 'Well, I still have work at the dojo to depend on. That should bring enough for some food for granma. There's still the medicine to worry about, though. Not to mention where am I gonna get food for Byakuen? We've been lucky so far, but if anyone sees him hunting in the middle of a city then we're really in trouble.' Ryo rubbed his eyes, tiredly. The cleaning money would never be enough to buy meat for the tiger and hunting strays could only go on for so long before someone noticed and trouble would start. If the police tried to catch Byakuen... 'I should get rid of him.' It would be safer for Byakuen in the long run if he went back to the mountains.  
  
Ryo needed more and there was only one way he knew of to get the money. Stealing. Granma had never known Ryo had started picking pockets when he was nine and he knew she'd be shamed if she found out, but, if it was the only way...  
  
  
  
  
  
The shelter's sign had been taken down earlier and a large closed sigh was hung on the door of the shelter. It looked terribly depressing, but Ryo pushed open the door and went into to tell granma about his day and that he hadn't found any work.  
  
Granma was sitting on the cot she'd been using for so long with Byakuen at her side. In her hands was the katana, the beautiful dragon katana that had been left to Ryo when his mom had died. Ryo watched for a minute while she ran her hands over the handle and the hilt, with loving care. Her bent fingers caressed the ruby eyes of the dragon and ran down the scales that decorated the hilt. Her eyes traveled up the long, slightly curved edge of the blade until she was distracted by Ryo's arrival.  
  
She smiled at him and lowered the katana to rest on her lap. "Ryo, where have you been?"  
  
"Looking for a j-job." Ryo replied, taking the katana away from her and wrapping it back in the red cloth he always kept it in. Lately, Ryo just couldn't be sure that she wouldn't hurt herself with the katana. "No l-luck."  
  
She didn't seem overly upset. "A job?" She frowned slightly when he sat on the cot next to her. "Ryo, why do you want a job? You have to go to school."  
  
'Her memory's slipping again.' Ryo bit his lip and looked away from her because it hurt to look her at her trusting eyes. This was getting worse, all of a sudden. In just the last month Ryo's granma was forgetting things and now she didn't even remember that they were in so much trouble. How would she understand when he made her leave the safety of the shelter and took her somewhere unfamiliar?  
  
Sister Jo, dusty from cleaning out the shelter, came spoke up as she walked up to them. "Ryo?"  
  
"Y-yes, Sister?" Ryo turned to find her looking at him with grin, something she hadn't had for many days now. Today was the last day and tomorrow Bishop Brannon would come to lock the doors on the Shelter. Ryo had so little to take with him, but he'd been busy cleaning up that nasty little gas station so granma would at least have somewhere clean to sleep.  
  
"Come with me, dear." She said softly. "I want to have a word with you."  
  
Ryo followed Sister Jo to her office, but she didn't offer him a seat as the office was now empty. The room that had served as an office was now packed up in cardboard boxes and empty except for a large metal desk.   
  
Sister Jo paced for a minute, as if she wasn't sure what she wanted to say and the more she paced, the more nervous Ryo got.  
  
"I think I'm wasting my time in saying this." Sister Jo started. "But, I really think you should consider this." She took a deep breath and turned to face Ryo directly. "Don't get mad, but I think you should go to the child welfare and apply for a foster home. I think your granma should go to a hospital where they can take care of her properly."  
  
Ryo stared at her in open-mouthed shock. Foster home? Hospital? She...she wanted him to leave his granma with strangers and just think about himself? Ryo honestly couldn't think of anything to say.  
  
"Now, don't look at me like that Ryo!" Sister Jo snapped, obviously nervous about this conversation. "I'm only thinking of your welfare. I know you love your granma, but you can't take care of her. You're only fifteen, Ryo, you're a child. You shouldn't have to worry about getting a job or how to pay for food. You shouldn't have to wander streets filled with criminals or have to outrun pimps and drug dealers. I want you to have a good life, Ryo, and your granma will be more comfortable in a hospital where they have people who know how to care for her."  
  
"I care for her!" Ryo snapped, angrily. How dare she say he couldn't take care of his own family!? 'I thought she was my friend, how can she say that!?' "S-she don't want to g-go where there's no family! S-she wants to s-stay with me!" Ryo thumped his chest hard as he got ready to defend his only family if he had to. 'Granma always told me we have to keep our family together. I can't abandon her with strangers.'  
  
Sister Jo put her hands firmly on Ryo's shoulders. "I know you love her. I see it every day, but you don't have anyway to take care of her. Ryo, she has althimezers. It's not going to get better and it'll probably get worse. It will get to the point where she probably won't remember you and she's not going to stay in one place, not even with Byakuen and you to protect her. He has to hunt and you have to sleep sometime and it's going to be that one time when no one's watching her that she'll get hurt. Your granma could wander off in the middle of the night and get herself killed. You don't want that, do you?"  
  
Ryo glared at her with tears burning in his eyes. 'Of course I don't want her to die! But I just can't put her in a hospital. She would hate being away from family.' The fire that seemed to always be burning in Ryo flickered, burning a little brighter as his control began to slip. It made his brain and heart feel slightly warmer.  
  
Sister Jo patted his shoulder to calm him down and Ryo felt the fire inside him dim somewhat, though it was still stronger than it had been. "Just think about it. Tomorrow, I have to leave. The church is sending me back to France and I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back. There's one other thing. Follow me."  
  
She led Ryo to the storage room, where supplies were kept for the shelter, and let him in. Inside was a pile of everything from canned food to soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste and toothbrushes. With all that were a couple of changes of clothes for both Ryo and his granma along with brand new sneakers. Ryo looked at them in wonder before picking them up gingerly. He'd never had new sneakers before, not even when mom had been alive.  
  
"It's all for you." Sister Jo tried to force a smile, but wasn't doing very well. "I want you to take whatever you want or think you'll need."  
  
Ryo put down the sneakers regretfully. "I can't." He said. "No c-charity."  
  
"Sometimes I just want to shake some sense into you, boy!" Sister Jo snorted. "That's your granma talking, boy! You can't let your pride kill you or your granma! If you don't want to take care of yourself, think of her. She needs food and warm clothes, especially if you're going to be stubborn and not take her to a hospital."  
  
That got Ryo's attention. Kill granma? Never! Ryo took the sneakers and Sister Jo let out a sigh of relief.  
  
It turned out to be the best luck Ryo had had in months. Not only did Sister Jo let Ryo have all the food and clothes he could carry, but she gave him two mattresses. "I can't get rid of to much. Bishop Brannon's coming in the morning to do an inventory and he expects everything to be here." She glared at a wall, muttering to herself, "That no good, self centered, big headed, arrogant pig! I don't even know why we're being shut down. Sure the place is a bit run down, but it's still usable. If I had the clout, why I'd..." She shook her head to clear away the thoughts. "All this stuff is going to be thrown away or destroyed, so I don't want you feeling guilty just because you're taking it."  
  
Ryo nodded. This treasure was sure proof of miracles.   
  
"There's something else, Ryo." Sister Jo reached up behind her neck and took off the necklace she always wore. It was a silver chain with a tiny silver crucifix hanging off it. "I want you to have this, Ryo. My grandmother gave it to me when I was seven, the day before she died. I've always worn it since that day and I think it may keep you safe."  
  
Ryo shook his head and backed away. "I c-can't!" How could he take something so important?  
  
"Yes, you can." She insisted, hanging it around his neck. "If nothing else, you can sell it for food. It's pure silver, even the chain, so you'll get quite a bit of money for it. Think of it as something to protect you."  
  
The necklace felt heavy on Ryo's neck, but he didn't know how to refuse without hurting Sister Jo's feelings.  
  
  
  
  
Later-  
  
  
  
  
And so the shelter closed. With no fanfare and on a rainy March morning, Bishop Brannon would arrive to lock the doors. Sister Jo stayed with her one suitcase and in her heavy coat, waiting for him to arrive, on the doorstep. Ryo wanted to wait with her and show his support for Sister Jo, but granma needed to get out of the rain or she would get even sicker than she all ready was.  
  
"Take care of yourself, Ryo dear." Sister Jo kissed his cheek and gave him a hug before Ryo left. "Just keep in mind what I said before, about the hospital."  
  
With his granma leaning on him for support, Ryo started down the sidewalk, leaving the shelter and Sister Jo behind. Byakuen was somewhere following them, out of sight and carrying most of Sister Jo's gifts strapped to his back along with the dragon katana. Ryo had found a rain jacket for granma in the treasure Sister Jo had given him, but none for himself so he was getting soaked to the bone and was just hoping that the rain wouldn't turn to sleet.   
  
"Where are we going, Ryo?" His granma asked, starting to shiver in the rain. They'd been walking for only about twenty minutes, but it seemed like hours with granma leaning so heavily on Ryo as they walked at a slow shuffle.  
  
"Not far, g-granma." Ryo tried to sound confident. "W-we gotta go just a little f-further." Ryo didn't like how everyone started staring as he began to get into the better part of the city. Why did everyone have to stare?  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
Seiji didn't stare at people. In his opinion, staring ranked right up there on the scale of rudeness with gossiping and eavesdropping.   
  
The white tiger didn't seem to have any such qualms as it stared out at the street, though. Seiji was behind the creature and just stood there watching it. He wasn't quite sure what to do, though. It wasn't often that he came across a tiger on his way to school, especially not one that was practically in his backyard.  
  
It had started out an almost normal day, though it was a cold, rainy morning that was dismal enough to seep into one's bones. Xiu was meeting him at school, as usual, so Seiji had made a thermos of hot tea to share with him. 'Can't let my kishi (knight) get cold.' Seiji had thought happily when he'd made the hot chocolate this morning.   
  
Yes, Xiu was truly a knight. Didn't everyone want someone like Xiu? Someone strong who stood up for what they knew to be right without hesitation. Someone who would always there to back you up, no matter what the odds. Seiji sighed, blissfully. 'A knight in a white apron.' The image of Xiu in his restaurant apron and hair net, holding a soup ladle like a sword and the lid of a large pot for a shield brought on a laughing fit. It was so bad it made Seiji spill the hot liquid and burn his own hand and had had to bite his tongue to stop himself from swearing.  
  
Even if it did mean daily fear and worries about what other people would say and do, Seiji was certain that Xiu was worth all the trouble. Besides, he had faced most of the school's bullies and they now knew enough to respect that they couldn't defeat him. The thought of any of them attacking Xiu was, to put it mildly, laughable. Xiu was an unstoppable bull and he had been known to jump happily into fights where it was one against six or seven and normally winning.  
  
There were, however, always the nasty little whispers and crude notes written by cowards who didn't even dare to face him openly. Pathetic, but also worrying. Seiji didn't like having enemies when he didn't even know what their faces looked like and it was hard defending himself when his faith required him to 'harm none'. That included bulling idiots, unfortunately.  
  
There was less happy news to think about than Seiji's love life, though. There was still no sign of Ryo since his unexpected announcement at school almost a week ago and Touma, who'd come to school with new bruises on his arms and his face all cut up, wasn't answering any questions. Seiji knew Touma knew what was going on with Ryo no matter how much he protested that he had no idea what was up with Ryo, Touma just wasn't a very good liar.   
  
Shin was cranky, which was expected, considering the condition Touma had come to school in. Shin, after coming out of the bathroom with Touma few days ago, had worn a dark expression and now kept protectively close to Touma. No one went near Touma or dared to ask how he'd gotten hurt with Shin wearing such a bleak expression at his side. Shin was, though small and so gentle, dangerous. Seiji remembered once finding that Shin kept, in his backpack, a long narrow knife right along side his sewing kit. That had instantly added a whole new dimension to Shin's character, but Seiji had never mentioned it to anyone. He was reasonably sure Touma knew about it, anyway.  
  
'Even such a sweet, loving guy,' Seiji thought, picturing Shin serving tea and cupcakes at a tea party they'd had last week at his house with a cute smile on his face. 'Has a darker side. I'm very glad he's our friend.' It wasn't unusual for Seiji to think like this, us instead of I when thinking of himself and Xiu, even though he wasn't sure why he did. Occasionally, he would add Shin, Touma, and (more recently) Ryo into the mix, like he thought of them all as a collective person.  
  
Seiji had expected this morning to be like every other morning, with the exception that they were all planning to go looking for Ryo after school. Seiji had to admit, he was getting to like Ryo and was more than a little worried about his sudden disappearance. 'All right, so I have a new friend.' Seiji wasn't used to having new friends and was still adjusting to having a forth friend. 'I just wish he'd come back so I can enjoy his company for a little while.'  
  
The normal-ness was gone out the window when Seiji saw the tiger peering though his hedge.   
  
Seiji's home was on a large secluded lot, cut off from the street by a big, empty field and lined with a hedge of trees just at the street. Normally, Seiji used this empty field as a short cut to school, but just at the place where he normally got onto the sidewalk, a tiger sat watching something.  
  
'Oh, my...' Seiji's normally calm mind balked for a moment before he started thinking again, took a deep breath, and reached down to touch his pentacle. This was weird, even for him.  
  
A magnificent white tiger with black stripes sat between two of the larger trees and peered over the short hedge. It was a stately creature that, when sitting on his haunches, was tall enough that its head reached Seiji's shoulders. It had a strange air of dignity, despite all the...stuff that was tied to it's back, as if it were a pack animal. It turned to meet Seiji's eyes with it's own warm brown eyes for just a minute before looking back at whatever was on the street.   
  
All thoughts of school promptly vanished.  
  
"What do you want?" Seiji asked, mostly to himself, wondering why there was a tiger in the city. This was all so impossible, but Seiji knew he wasn't hallucinating, he was sure of it.   
  
The tiger, naturally, didn't answer, but turned at Seiji's voice and looked at him with burning, fire blue eyes. Seiji could feel the raw power coming from the tiger and he actually gasped when he met the tiger's eyes. It was something indescribable and untouchable, the energy that burned in the eyes of the tiger, though Seiji wasn't sure the creature was a tiger, anymore. He knew very well that animals, like people, had their own power and magic, yet this was something he'd never seen before. In all of Seiji's encounters with the natural magic of this world, he'd never felt anything like what was coming from the white tiger.   
  
The tiger only looked at Seiji for a bare second, as if it wasn't surprised to find him there, before turning back to whatever it was looking at on the street. Seiji couldn't help himself and moved up so he could look out at whatever had so interested the tiger. It meant standing stupidly close to the giant tiger, but Seiji believed he was safe. He had the protection of the elements, the most powerful forces this world had to offer, the only magic Seiji believed existed. Besides, the power coming from the tiger wasn't malevolent, it simply was.  
  
Seiji reached out a hand to pull branches of the short trees aside so he could look out at the street.  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ryo?"  
  
Ryo turned, surprised at the voice, and found Seiji looking at him, concerned. Ryo stopped walking, making his granma look at him and then to Seiji. 'Oh, this is all I need!' Ryo thought, trying to think of some way to explain what he was doing out in the middle of the rain with his granma.  
  
"What are you doing out in this weather, Ryo?" Seiji asked, looking at them confused and a bit worried. Seiji was dressed for school with his impeccable uniform, his bag slung easily over one shoulder, and an umbrella in the other hand. Quickly, Seiji moved, holding the umbrella over Ryo's granma's head, just as any gentleman would.  
  
"We're going s-somewhere." Ryo answered vaguely, hoping that Seiji wouldn't ask to many other questions, but grateful for the umbrella. "T-this is my granma." Ryo nodded to his granma who smiled sweetly at Seiji.  
  
"How nice to meet you, young man. Are you one of Ryo's friends from school?" Ryo's granma bowed slightly to Seiji, though she couldn't bow very low and had to have Ryo help her up again.  
  
Seiji nodded, bowing very properly to her. "Yes, ma'am. Ryo and I share some classes."  
  
Ryo's granma reached out and patted Seiji's cheek. "How nice to meet you, young man." She repeated herself. "You're one of Ryo's friends, aren't you?"  
  
Seiji took her hand gently. "Your hand's very cold, ma'am. Would you like to come in to warm up? I make a very nice herbal tea and my family is at home. I'm sure everyone would like to meet you." Though he spoke respectfully to Ryo's granma, Seiji cast a look at Ryo out of the corner of his eyes, telling Ryo very clearly, 'Don't you DARE refuse!'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A few minutes later at the Date home Seiji's grandfather met them just inside the house when Ryo was helping his granma to put on the guest slippers Seiji's family kept at the door. "Seiji?" The older man Ryo had met only a few times before slid open the door to the front hall and paused for a minute to take in the fact that he had guests so early in the morning. "I wasn't expecting guests so early." His sharp eyes landed on Seiji with a hint of disapproval, which Seiji didn't seem to notice, then moved to Ryo.   
  
Ryo looked away from the regal looking gentleman. Ryo had always been sort of uncomfortable around Seiji's grandfather. The man was so stiff and formal he made Seiji look like a hippie.   
  
"H-hello, sir." Ryo forced himself to speak calmly. The older man gave him a slight bow before turning to Ryo's granma.  
  
The change that overcame the old man was remarkable. His eyes widened dramatically and his breath caught with a gasp. At the sight of her, Seiji's grandfather actually stepped back a pace. "Akane?"  
  
The surprise was mutual, as Ryo's granma became suddenly very aware of what was going on around and her hand tightened on Ryo's arm. "Kanto?" She said in equal disbelief.  
  
For a long, horrible minute, the two just stared at each other in utter shock. Ryo looked at Seiji who was equally, if not more so, confused. Neither knew what to say or do as they certainly hadn't expected this kind of reaction.  
  
It was Dr. Date who broke the awkward silence. "Ryo, dear!" She said brightly, wheeling her chair over to the door, next to her father-in-law. "It's so nice to see you today." Then she turned to Ryo's granma. "You must be Ryo's grandmother. He tells us so much about you. Won't you come in, Sanada san? We're so glad you finally decided to visit us." Though her words were light and pleasant, Ryo caught a puzzled look she sent at Seiji as Ryo and his grandmother were led into the house. She obviously knew something was wrong, but decided to hold her tongue for the moment.  
  
That seemed to break the trance between Ryo's granma and Seiji's grandfather and the two looked away from each other, uncomfortably.  
  
  
  
  
  
The first thing Dr. Date did was tell Ryo to go with Seiji to get some dry clothes. "But..." Ryo didn't want to leave his granma, not when something odd was going on. He knew he could trust them, but his granma just seemed a bit off right now.  
  
"No, buts dear." Dr. Date told him in a scolding tone. "You're soaking wet and you're dripping on my carpet. Go dry off and warm up. I'll make sure you're grandmother gets a nice warm bath. You and Seiji can share it later." Then she'd leaned in close and whispered, "Don't worry. I'll call you if she needs you."  
  
Ryo smiled gratefully at her before telling his granma to go with Dr. Date. Granma gave her hand to Dr. Date's offered hand and didn't spare a backwards glance for Ryo as she was led away. Seiji's grandfather was gone, though Ryo hadn't seen him leave, leaving Ryo alone with Seiji. Once they were alone, Seiji gestured toward down the hall where his bedroom was. "We may as well get going. My mother dislikes having her orders questioned."  
  
"S-sorry 'bout this." Ryo muttered. Now that his granma was safely in the hands of Dr. Date, Ryo felt free to be as embarrassed as he could. He'd never expected to be found like this, let alone be invited into Seiji's house like he was someone important.   
  
Seiji didn't answer, and Ryo hadn't really expected him to. Seiji rarely spoke except when the thought he absolutely had to.   
  
Seiji's home was quiet, not surprising since it was quite a large house, but it was well lit and seemed very open. Ryo liked Seiji's home, for all it seemed like a whole different world to him. Born in the wilderness of mountains untouched by civilization, Ryo had grown up in a world of trees, blue sky, and animals. It was a whole world that seemed to belong to him and no one else. Their home had been a small cabin with a wood fire for heat and oil lamps were the only light they had other than sunlight. Still, it had been a happy life.  
  
Then...everything changed. Mom died and then granma, a woman Ryo had never met before, had come to live with him in the cabin. Granma had scared Ryo, at first. She arrived in a small car, though it seemed huge because Ryo had never seen one before, and was dressed in a fine silk kimono. Her long hair was pinned up on top of her head and her eyes were sharp as daggers. She was so much more formal that Ryo's mom had been and tougher than Ryo remembered his dad being. She was firm with rules and demanding with how she expected Ryo to behave. For all that, she was fair and never once raised her hand or even her voice to Ryo. Not even when he had temper tantrums or the one time he had thrown a chair across the room just because of his bad temper. She had simply looked disappointed and walked away from him.  
  
Yet his granma never even suggested that Ryo give up his home and move someone else that was more convenient for her. After a few rocky weeks, they grew to love each other and life settled into a somewhat comfortable routine. Then, a man had come to the cabin and had given Ryo's granma a letter that had made her very unhappy and a week later they left their home. Later, Ryo had found out that man had been a tax collector and that they'd lost their home because of some new law and they hadn't paid enough in taxes the passed few years. Though granma never failed to act like a lady, her family's fortune had been eaten away by hardship over the years and there was no way to pay.  
  
Ryo thought bitterly about when he and his granma were forced to go to the cities to try and make a living. 'I hate cities. At least back home we were always warm and I could take care of us.' The streets were horrible, cold and dirty, Ryo hated his life and wished every minute that they could just go home; back to the cabin. Of course, the fact that he'd recently heard the cabin had been made into a mini-mart didn't help much.  
  
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Seiji asked finally when they reached his room.   
  
"'Bout what?" Ryo asked softly, taking a good look around Seiji's room. It was...different. For some reason, the first thing Ryo noticed was a picture of Xiu on Seiji's wall. It was a goofy picture with Xiu in a cook's apron holding a large frying pan in one hand while the other hand was raised in a "V" sign for victory. In the room there was a large fish tank in the corner of the room and a glassed in terrarium with a couple of rats next to Seiji's bed. He also had a couple of birds in an ornate cage and green-eyed cat that glared at Ryo for disturbing its nap. Where there weren't animals, Seiji had potted plants decorating almost every part of his room and hanging from the ceiling.  
  
"About why you suddenly quit school. About why you and your grandmother are wandering the city in the middle of a rainstorm. About why," Seiji continued as he searched though a closet for some dry clothes for himself and Ryo. "Touma came to school with you looking like someone had beat him half to death. How about why you're pretending nothing's wrong when I can see your ribs through your clothes? Why not tell me about why you now look like a rabbit cornered by a fox." Seiji turned slightly to fix a cool look on Ryo. "I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
Ryo felt a flare of pride. "I-I'm not afraid of you." It was just a bit intimidating being in Seiji's room like this and he'd NEVER heard Seiji say so much at one time before. Ryo had never been in anyone's personal room before and it seemed so strange. The whole room reflected Seiji's personality and, since Ryo knew how private a person Seiji was, he couldn't help but feel a bit honored by just being allowed in here.  
  
Seiji pulled out a pair of trousers and a plain T-shirt for Ryo. "I think these will fit. You'll need to get dry first. I forgot the towel." Seiji looked around for inspiration before simply pulling the top blanket off his bed and handing it to Ryo.  
  
Ryo dried himself with the blanket, still feeling that he should do or say something to thank Seiji, but he couldn't think of what would be appropriate. When it came time to change his clothes, Ryo gave Seiji a hard look. "Turn around." He said firmly. He owed Seiji a lot, but not enough to strip in front of him!  
  
Seiji gave Ryo a small half-smile, as if he was amused, but did turn around and faced the wall. "Shin's worried about you, you know." Seiji said while turned around. "You should feel lucky. Usually, when Touma's hurt Shin tends to obsess for days over him. This time, Touma's managed to deflect some of the attention onto you."  
  
"D-din't know that." Ryo answered honestly as he felt a twinge of guilt. Why would anyone be worried about him? Sure, he liked them well enough, but why would they be worried? Shin was nice, though. He'd tried to fix Ryo's uniform, though the pants never did get tailored, as Shin had wanted to do. Shin was Ryo's first friend here and had introduced Ryo to the others.  
  
"Oh, yes. Touma knows something about what's happening to you."   
  
Ryo tensed, wondering if Touma had given away his secret. Actually, it wasn't much of a secret anymore. If Seiji didn't know for certain, he must surely guess about Ryo's lifestyle. It just seemed important that Ryo should know if Touma had betrayed him or not.  
  
"He won't tell us though." Seiji finished and let Ryo breathe easy again. "It must be something important, otherwise he'd have told us all. He'd not very good at keeping secrets. I think he may have told Shin, but Shin never tells secrets."  
  
"Y-You can turn a-around." Ryo said, finally finished with dressing. Seiji's clothes were all to big as he was not only more muscular than Ryo, but also taller. At least the clothes were clean and warm. 'I don't want to get Seiji involved. He's a very good person and he'd want to help, but granma says we must never take charity.'  
  
"You may as well sit and relax." Seiji told Ryo, gesturing to his bed. "Your grandmother is likely to take quite a while in the bath, if my mother has anything to say about it." Seiji himself sat on the floor near the rats and tapped the glass to get their attention as he spoke to Ryo. "That's Miko and Toiki." Seiji pointed out his rats. "Xiu gave them to me when he found them in his family's kitchen."  
  
"Why?" Ryo asked, sitting on the edge of Seiji's bed. Why would anyone want rats? As far as Ryo knew they were nasty dirty things that ate your food and tried to bite if you stepped in the wrong places. At the very best, they were food when there was really nothing else to be found.   
  
Seiji, in the half darkness of the stormy morning, looked strangely otherworldly as he kept his attention focused on the rats who had now run up to the glass and were looking back at him. "I don't like to see things killed and Mama Faun has an odd prejudice against rats in her restaurant. Something about health inspectors, I think." Seiji slowly turned back to Ryo and for just a moment, Ryo was afraid of Seiji. There was an intense edge to Seiji that most adults didn't have and someone Seiji's age had no right to have. "Tell me what's going on, Ryo. We're all very worried about you."  
  
"No." Ryo instantly went on the defensive. He didn't want to talk about himself. Yoko and Joji had told him over and over how dangerous it was to let someone get close to you. "You tell me a-about yourself first." He was sure that Seiji would refuse. Seiji never let anyone get close to him, either. Ryo had even heard that once Seiji had been assigned to write a paper about himself and written three pages of complete lies including that he was four hundred and twenty two years old. Seiji also said his mother was Lady Yasha, the goddess of Doom, and that he lived on one of the moons of Jupiter. Seiji was, in fact, famous for lying when it concerned his private life. It would be so easy for Seiji to lie this time, too.  
  
"All right."  
  
Ryo blinked. Did Seiji just agree? That meant Ryo would be honor bound to tell Seiji everything! No, wait. Seiji would probably just lie and then the agreement wouldn't hold up.  
  
Seiji took a deep breath and turned toward his fish. "My father left us when I was eight. That's a long story in itself." Seiji paused uncomfortably before fixing Ryo with a hard stare. "I'll ask you not to tell anyone what I'm going to tell you. It's a family secret."  
  
Ryo nodded, his curiosity spiked.   
  
"My dad's sick. He's living at a hospital, but he's been there for years. We go to visit him, sometimes, but," Seiji hung his head, sadly. "Dad's not getting any better and the doctor's don't think he ever will. He's got a disease called Schizophrenia and it makes him almost impossible to live with. Mom said," Seiji's voice lowered into a whisper. "When I was little, he attacked her with a carving knife and sliced her spine. He's the reason why she can't walk."  
  
Ryo didn't know what to say. How could he say anything to that?  
  
"She still loves him, though." Seiji continued dully. "After all he's done to our family, she loves him. I don't think I'll ever understand women." Seiji looked up at Ryo with a bitter smile. "I sometimes think I had something to do with him not getting well." Seiji continued, but his voice didn't sound at all guilty. "He's a die-hard Christian, even when he's not quite in touch with the rest of the world, he keeps his faith as best as he can. But," Seiji's hand inadvertently reached up to touch the star shaped decoration on his necklace. "I felt a calling to another faith. He's very disappointed in me. He wrote to me last Christmas and, in his Christmas card, told me I was going to Hell." Seiji shrugged as if it didn't matter to him. "Perhaps I am. I don't know. I don't want to belief him, though." Seiji flashed a rare, cocky smile at Ryo. "Besides having something to do with my birth, I mean." The smile vanished as quickly as it had come and Ryo found himself wondering how often Seiji let that side of him be seen. It must be lurking just under the surface.   
  
Ryo shook his head. "D-don't go to H-hell for that." He felt the weight of Sister Jo's crucifix around his neck, just under his shirt. "That's dumb. Only if you do b-b-bad things." Ryo knew this to be true, because not only had Sister Jo told him so, but also his mom and his granma.   
  
Seiji smiled. "Thank you. But, you do know all the evil I do, don't you?"   
  
Ryo wasn't quite sure why he was being thanked. "What evil?"  
  
"I'm a witch, as you've probably heard around school. No, I don't sacrifice goats, cats, or any other small animal to Satan. I do not dance naked by the light of the full moon. I do not ride a broomstick. I do not stick pins into little dolls. I do NOT eat children." Seiji said this in a tired voice, giving the impression that he'd grown tired of saying it. "I'm also gay. I think you've noticed that, also."  
  
Ryo nodded. It was kind of hard to miss what was going on between Seiji and Xiu.  
"I-is it true?" Ryo couldn't help but ask.  
  
"What? That I'm a witch or that Xiu and I..."  
  
"All of it."  
  
Seiji looked insulted, but then he seemed to remember something. "Oh! You mean my reputation as a liar." He waved that concern aside. "You're a guest in my home, Ryo. I NEVER lie in my own house. Besides, it's discourteous to lie to a guest." His expression softened. "Yes, it's all true. Now, it's your turn."  
  
Ryo licked his lips. He couldn't back down when Seiji had been so brave to tell all about himself. Well, here it goes. "I..."  
  
"Sei-Chan! Ryo!" Dr. Date called out loudly. "The bath's empty. It's your turn."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They were on their way to the bath when Ryo stopped very suddenly at the sound of his grandmother's lucid voice coming through one of the paper walls of Seiji's home. "I didn't want you to see me like this. My family has suffered much in the passed years."  
  
"Your daughter?"  
  
Seiji stopped with Ryo and frowned at the sound of his grandfather's pained voice. The two boys stepped a little closer to the paper wall that separated them from their respective grandparents.  
  
"Dead. Almost ten years now and buried in the mountains she loved."  
  
"What about the boy's father? Akira?"  
  
"That idiot ran off. We haven't seen him in years." Granma's voice was filled with venom. "Good thing, too. He was almost constantly drunk after he married my darling Akari and I prefer him gone rather than ruining Ryo's life. If he'd had any kind of an influence on Ryo there's no telling how the boy would have ended up."  
  
Ryo tried not to think about that remark. He remembered his dad, but only a little. He remembered that dad smelled bad and used to hit mom a lot. They weren't pleasant memories, but it had still hurt to wake up one morning and find that dad had left them.  
  
"Your grandson is a good-boy and a hard worker." Seiji's grandfather said, his voice softening. "I know Seiji enjoys having him around."  
  
Ryo's granma sighed heavily. "He's had to live through so much for a child. I wish things had been different..." Her voice trailed off and Ryo got worried, but she spoke again. "He's had so little...If only I could have done more for him."   
  
"I have no doubt that you did your best for him, Akane."  
  
"He deserved better, though."  
  
Ryo felt embarrassed to have his granma talking that way. It wasn't as if his life had been all that horrible. Surely other people were worse off than he'd been.  
  
"What about your wife? Yukino? I only met her once, but she seemed like a good woman." Ryo's granma abruptly changed the subject away from the uncomfortable matter of Ryo's childhood.  
  
"Yukino died two years ago." Seiji's grandfather said sadly. "It's been just Seiji, my daughter-in-law, and myself since then."  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that. My Kira died almost twelve years ago. I miss him terribly. He was such a good man. It was hard after he left this world."  
  
Seiji's grandfather said quietly, "I wish you had told me you needed help. Even if it were only to help with money, I'd have..."  
  
"NO!" Ryo's granma barked fiercely. "I will not have you suggesting that I needed help to take care of my family! I do not want Ryo learning to be dependent on other people for scraps and castoffs!"   
  
Seiji's grandfather's voice hardened with frustration. "Your pride will be the death of you, Akane! There is no shame in accepting or even asking for help from an old friend. Just think about Ryo's welfare for a minute. That poor child is working very hard just to earn enough money for food and when he first come to school, Seiji told me he barely knew how to read. If you would just..."  
  
"No, Kanto." Her voice was weary now, almost defeated. "I will not ask for any help. I have never had to ask for anything in my long life and I will not start now when I'm so close to the end. When I die, Ryo will be better off, anyway."  
  
Ryo felt his heart stop for a second at that off hand comment his granma had made. Die?  
  
She continued, "When I die, Ryo will go back to the wild. He will run away from the grime and the filth of the city. He hates it here and I know he only stays because he needs to get my medicine. If I know my little Ryo, he will run as quickly as he can to the nearest forest with his tiger friend. He'll be happier there and much safer." She gave a sad kind of chuckle. "If it weren't for me, he'd never have set foot in a town or come within a thousand feet of another human being. My poor Ryo."  
  
Ryo felt a flood of guilt overcome him. She made it sound like he was waiting for her to keel over! 'It's not like that!' Ryo thought, trying to convince himself. 'I love granma, I don't want her to die. It's just...it would be nice to go home.'  
  
"Boys!" A sharp voice hissed.  
  
Ryo and Seiji turned to find Dr. Date looking at them with a disapproving expression. On her lap was a large, leather bound book.   
  
"Eavesdropping is a very bad habit." Dr. Date scowled at them. "You know that, Seiji! Come with me, boys."  
  
Seiji started to follow his mother with a rather guilty expression, but Ryo hesitated, looking back at the paper wall he and Seiji had been listening though. He really wanted to go see if his granma needed him, but Seiji took his arm. Seiji said nothing, but gave Ryo and encouraging tug in the direction his mother was heading and, after just another moment, Ryo followed.   
  
Seiji's mom took them to the living room where she opened the large book on her lap and Ryo saw it was a book of photo's. Seiji leaned over his mom's shoulder.   
  
"The family album? What's it for?"  
  
Seiji's mom flipped through all the family pictures, searching for something. As she went backwards through the years Ryo saw pictures of Seiji getting younger and younger. He saw pictures of Dr. Date standing with her young son in her arms and a young, black haired man standing with her. Presumably, it was Seiji's dad and Ryo wondered briefly what happened to him.  
  
After a little while, the color pictures faded into black and white photos with a more grainy look to them as they got older and older.  
  
"Now...where was it? I know it was in here somewhere." Dr. Date muttered half to herself before finding the picture she was looking for. "Ah, ha! Ryo, Seiji, this is what I wanted you to see." Her finger landed on a black and white picture of two people standing outside what was the obviously the Date Dojo. A tall young man with his arm around the shoulder of a beautiful, smiling girl.  
  
"Is..." Seiji's voice was amazed. "Is that grandfather?"  
  
"Yes." Dr. Date answered with a slight smile. "Quite handsome, wasn't he?" Indeed, the young man was the spitting image of a Seiji, but with black hair. "Ryo, do you recognize the girl?"  
  
Ryo almost couldn't speak. "G-g-gr-ra..."  
  
"Yes, Ryo, that's your grandmother. She was a very pretty young lady. I didn't know when I saw her, earlier, but..." Dr. Date slipped the photo out of the plastic sheet it was held in and turned it over. On the back, written in very elegant handwriting was: Kurumi Akane and Date Kanto, 1931. "It seems pretty obvious there's only one Akane that would leave Kanto speechless. I saw this picture when I first came into this family, Seiji." She smiled at her son. "When I asked your grandfather who the girl was, because I know your grandmother's name was Yukino, he just smiled sadly and told me she was an angel who'd escaped his grasp." Dr. Date shook her head. "I don't know what happened between them, but it seems pretty obvious SOMETHING happened."  
  
Ryo looked at the picture more closely. His granma was so beautiful, so like he remembered his mom just before she'd gotten sick. Even back then, when she looked no older than Ryo, there was a wonderful air of stately dignity. "You mean," Ryo said in a dazed voice, "M-my granma and S-seiji's grampa..."  
  
"I'm saying," Dr. Date carefully put the picture back where she'd found it. "That it's very possible that, had things been different, you and Seiji might have been cousins or even brothers." She then pinned them with a hard look. "So, now that you know what they're talking about, I want you to leave them alone for a little while. I'm sure they both have a lot of catching up to do."  
  
"But," Ryo wanted to tell her that his granma didn't remember things well and that she was sick. She seemed to have remembered Seiji's grampa for a while, but Ryo knew it could be any time that she'd get confused and start forgetting things again.   
  
Dr. Date gave Ryo a sympathetic look. "It's all right, Ryo." And in that instant, he realized that she knew. "When I was helping her with her bath, I noticed your granma has trouble remembering things." She gave him a pat on the arm. "I'm sure it'll work out and Kanto won't let anything hurt her. I promise. Now," She forced her voice to be a little more cheerful. "I suggest you two boys get on with your bath. I'll have to call the school for you, mister, since you seem to be skipping today." She gave a half-hearted angry look to Seiji who just smirked back at her.  
  
"I think I'll take Ryo to the Phoenix Rising so he can have some real food." Seiji said in an off hand comment. "That's Xiu's family restaurant." He turned to Ryo and his face took on a blissful look. "You should taste what Xiu's mama makes. It's incredible. Mmmmmm!"  
  
"Are you insulting my cooking, young man? You think Mama Faun can cook so much better than I can?" Dr. Date scowled back at her son, slamming the family photo album closed.  
  
"Of course not, oh great one. You who can burn water without trying. You who can ruin cold cereal and somehow make eggs turn purple while scrambling them. Why would I insult your cooking?"  
  
Dr. Date took a swing at him with the photo album, swatting him on the butt. "Get out of here, you little brat!" She laughed happily and Ryo knew this must be a kind of game between the two of them.   
  
Seiji did take off, grabbing Ryo's hand and pulling him with him to the baths.  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
Seiji's family bathroom was quite large, but small enough that it was still comfortable. It was sparkling clean and smelled like lavender, for some reason. It was still warm and steamy from when Ryo's granma had been using it and Seiji quickly went about refilling the tub. While they waited for it to fill, Seiji stripped off his clothes and Ryo turned around quickly.  
  
"You don't have to be so shy." Seiji said, though he was amused at Ryo's modesty. Normally, he didn't bath with anyone outside the family, either, but he didn't see what it was anything to be embarrassed about. "I'm not at all ashamed of myself, so you certainly shouldn't be."   
  
Seiji shook his head, but didn't force the issue. Ryo was, Seiji had to admit, very good looking, if a little skinny. 'If I didn't all ready have Xiu...' No sense in dwelling on what might have been, seeing as how there was no force in Heaven or Hell that would part Seiji form Xiu. He'd be content to have Ryo as a friend and (if he was really honest with himself) a bit of nice eye-candy.  
  
Ryo didn't answer, but his back was still stiff as he waited for Seiji to make himself decent. 'I suppose I shouldn't keep him in suspense.' Seiji sat on the edge of the tub and put a towel across his lap. "It's safe. You can look now. I'm as decent as I'll ever be."  
  
Ryo did slowly turn around, as if he was afraid that Seiji was lying to him. Ryo ended up sitting on the toilet right next to the bathtub and they just sat there for the longest time as neither of them was much of a talker.   
  
That tiger kept running though Seiji's mind, begging to be asked about and Seiji was certain Ryo knew something about the tiger. Ryo didn't seem to be in a very good mood, though, and he kept glaring at his feet as if there were something terribly important on his mind. "Can I help?"  
  
"Huh?" Ryo looked up, surprised that Seiji had spoken.   
  
"You looked troubled. I'll help you if I can."  
  
Ryo shook his head and went back to looking at his feet. Seiji was getting impatient with Ryo's closed off heart. Normally, he could out wait anything or anyone, but this seemed very important. "Please, Ryo. Talk to me. You know you're my friend and you can trust me."  
  
Again, no answer.  
  
Seiji scowled. He only had a very short while until Ryo and his granma left and he had the sneaking suspicion that this might be his only chance to reach Ryo. Well, if Ryo didn't want to talk, that left Seiji with very little choice. A wicked grin crossed Seiji's face. Lightening fast, he lashed out and grabbed Ryo's arm.  
  
"Wh...?" Ryo didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Seiji dragged him into the bathtub clothes and all. "No!" Ryo cried just before falling face first into Seiji's lap and splashing water everywhere.  
  
When Ryo surfaced, soaking wet, with his long dark hair hiding half of his face and coughing up water, he turning a fearsome look on Seiji. "Y-you...you!" Ryo managed to upright himself so he was sitting up, still practically on Seiji's lap. He was only dry from the knees down where his legs hung over the side of the bathtub.  
  
"Me...me." Seiji laughed at Ryo's outraged expression and reached over to grab Ryo's still bare feet. "Come all the way in, you're all ready a bit damp." Seiji took Ryo's feet and pulled them into the tub, also.  
  
"You're ruining your own c-c-clothes." Ryo muttered darkly, quickly moving himself off Seiji's lap.  
  
"I don't mind." Seiji replied, blissfully ignoring Ryo's anger. "You may as well take them off, now." Ryo blushed and took the shirt off, but stopped there. H e was adamant about leaving the pants on and Seiji decided that he'd better not try to push Ryo any further.  
  
Now they sat, facing each other and Seiji knew he wanted to make Ryo relaxed enough to open up about whatever it was that was bothering him. Ryo sat with his feet pulled up to his chest and deliberately not looking at Seiji.  
  
"Give me your feet." Seiji demanded.  
  
Ryo gave him a confused look. "Why?"  
  
"I'm going to cut them off so you can't run away from me, my tasty little morsel, and then I'm going to let Xiu eat you." Seiji told him dryly. "Honestly, don't you trust me?"  
  
Slowly, Ryo nodded and extended one foot guardedly.   
  
"I just love a good massage, don't you?" Seiji asked, as he started to rub Ryo's foot. He was very good at massage, but he didn't think he'd have to go very far. "You never held up your end of our deal, Ryo." Seiji reminded him softly, still rubbing. When Ryo looked at him questioningly, Seiji said, "About yourselves. I told you all about me, now it's your turn. Tell me why you're so unhappy."   
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
Ryo actually liked Seiji's massage and he liked how Seiji's voice sounded. 'He's tricky, though. I didn't think Seiji would do something like that.'  
  
Not liking to talk about himself, Ryo had been grateful when, earlier, Seiji's mom had interrupted when it was his turn to talk about himself, but it appeared that Seiji wasn't easily distracted. Ryo wondered briefly where Byakuen was, but knew his friend was well able to take care of himself and would probably be waiting for them when they came out of the Date home.  
  
He knew he had to tell Seiji, now. He had made a promise and he had to keep it. No matter how much it hurt. Besides, maybe talking would help keep him awake as the warm water, steamy air, and Seiji's gentle hands were making him feel so drowsy.  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
Ryo said nothing for a minute and Seiji decided that perhaps it would be easier if he just started asking questions and letting Ryo answer the questions. As Ryo wasn't used to talking, maybe he just didn't know how to start. Best to start with the question that was nagging on his mind.  
  
"So," Seiji said, pleased that Ryo seemed to be relaxing as he slumped down slightly in the tub. His foot was still in Seiji's hand, but the rest of Ryo's body looked much more relaxed. "That tiger was yours?"  
  
"Y-yes. Yaku-chan is my best f-friend." Ryo yawned sleepily and closed his eyes for a minute. "He's waiting for us."  
  
"Where did you get him?"  
  
Ryo shook his head. "Didn't. He just sort of...ap-peared."  
  
"Is your granma sick?"  
  
Ryo closed his eyes again, slipping into the water up to his shoulders. "Yeah. B-but I gotta g-get her medicine." Ryo didn't open his eyes this time. "Don't hurt me, Seiji. D-don't...don't hurt me."  
  
Seiji frowned at Ryo's words, even as Ryo's foot went limp in his hands. Why would Ryo be afraid that he'd be hurt? "Ryo?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Ryo, are you asleep?"  
  
Ryo started to slip further into the water and Seiji had to lean forward to prevent him from going under. Seiji laughed and propped Ryo up a little steadier, putting Ryo's arms over the edge of the tub. 'The incense must be very strong to affect Ryo so heavily.' Seiji was thinking of the blue candle that was burning on the edge of the bathroom sink that filled the room with a subtle scent. It was meant to relax, but he hadn't expected Ryo to actually fall asleep.   
  
"Sei-chan!" Seiji sat a little straighter at his mother's raised voice. "You have a phone call!"  
  
Once he was sure that Ryo was secure enough that he wouldn't drown if Seiji stepped into the hall, Seiji stood up. He wasn't a bit worried if anyone should see him, as modesty wasn't one of his stronger virtues.  
  
He had no problem showing off his own, admittedly, fantastic body since no one was going to touch it except Xiu. 'Yes, I'm damned sexy. You can look, but you can't touch.' That was Seiji's motto. He honestly didn't mind when people ogled him, except when they seemed to think they had a chance of actually getting their hands on him.   
  
'Ryo would be pretty nice looking once he put on a little weight, also.' Seiji thought, casting a look at the peacefully sleeping Ryo while he tied a towel around his waist. While he wasn't worried about people see him, he was worried about what grandfather would do if Sanada San saw him in his birthday suit. Didn't want to give Ryo's granma a heart attack, after all. Ryo looked so innocent, just resting his cheek on the porcelain tub edge, with his long eyelashes on his dark tanned skin.   
  
Seiji shook himself of the daydream he was starting to fall into while he though of Ryo. Whoever was on the phone was waiting. The phone was right out in the hall, outside the bathroom, so Seiji closed the bathroom door behind him before picking it up. "Hello?"  
  
Xiu was on the other end. "Sei-Chan!" His voice was almost angry. "Where the Hell were you? I waited for you for almost twenty minutes this morning and I was late getting to school. What's up? You're never late."  
  
Seiji knew he'd have to bring something nice to school for Xiu in the morning, maybe a plate of cookies. "I'm sorry, Koibito. Something unexpected turned up..."  
  
"Well, something unexpected at school today, too!" Xiu shouted, this time he was most definitely angry. "Shin was arrested!"  
  
Just as Xiu said that, Ryo screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued...  
  
  
  
  
Lil' Demoness: How's that for a cliffhanger, folks? 


	7. You're Never Going to Believe this

Sorry I've been gone so long readers, I've been working hard on this one.   
  
Thanks Valandra and Zorra!  
  
  
Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
  
Chapter 7  
You're Never Going to Believe This  
  
  
  
  
  
Xiu-  
  
  
  
Xiu was pissed and didn't bother hiding it as he stomped into school. 'He'd better be dying of some horrible, agonizing disease!' Xiu thought furiously, pushing his way through the crowd on his way to his class. The bell rang while he was still in the halls, but even while everyone else scrambled into their classrooms, Xiu just walked steadily. 'If he knows what's good for him, he got run over by a car and is bleeding to death in some alley. If Seiji skipped school just because he's feeling lazy, I'll kill him with my own bare hands!'  
  
"Mr. Faun," The teacher said when he swung open the classroom door. "You're late."  
  
"Sorry, ma'am." Xiu managed to look slightly guilty. The guilt vanished when he saw Seiji's empty desk and his anger resurfaced. Anger and worry. They had always walked to school together and this morning Xiu had waited by their usual spot for almost twenty minutes, but Seiji never came. Always before, Seiji would call or let Xiu know if he wasn't going to walk to school. This brush-off was just enough to insult Xiu's pride and dignity. Even the rare times that Seiji would get sick, he'd get a message to Xiu.  
  
Xiu had just sat down, puzzling over why Seiji wouldn't have come to school, when Shin stalked into the classroom with Touma right behind him. Xiu's fist tightened when he looked at Touma, he'd gotten a beating again and, from the look of the still wet blood on his mouth, it hadn't been long ago. That would account for the black expression on Shin's face.   
  
Touma slid into his seat with help from Shin and a pained expression. Shin, who had been carrying Touma's bag, set the bag on Touma's desk and then looked at the teacher with a forced smile. "You excuse, please, Mrs. Lung. I not able to finish class today."  
  
"What are you talking about?" She frowned at him. "Why are you two late today?"  
  
Shin bent down and whispered something to Touma, strangely ignoring the teacher. Normally, Shin was a very nice, polite person. Touma looked worried about whatever Cye whispered to him, but didn't say anything back, and Shin patted him on the shoulder before heading back to his own seat next to Ryo's, now empty, seat. There was a moment of tenseness in the class when the teacher looked at Shin angrily.  
  
"I'll have a word with you after class, Mr. Mouri." She told him firmly.  
  
Shin only smiled in response and opened one of his textbooks. When she'd finally turned away from him, Shin cast a look at Xiu, who mouthed,   
  
"What's going on?" This was very odd behavior for Shin and Xiu wanted to know what was wrong with Touma. Naturally, it had to be something with Touma. Shin almost never got worked up about anything other than Touma. Xiu took a good look at Touma and saw his blue haired friend was pale and shaking slightly, just staring at his desk with a dumb-struck expression as if he was in shock.  
  
Shin mouthed back, "Later. Trouble." Only then did he notice someone was missing and added, "Seiji?"  
  
Xiu shrugged with a scowl, showing he didn't know where Seiji was. 'He didn't tell me a thing! Not like I worry about him or anything! We're only supposed to trust each other more than anyone else! Why would he bother to tell me what's going on in his life!' Maybe it was a little irrational, but Xiu never claimed to be rational when it came to Seiji. He was more than likely to be all raw emotion and very little brain. Then again, 'What if something really is wrong?' Xiu's scowl faded a bit. 'What if he couldn't contact me? He might have been hurt. His mom usually calls me, but if he was hit by a car on the way to meet me...' Xiu's anger vanished and he was just about to jump up and run out of class (how could he sit here when Seiji was alone and dying in a ditch somewhere!?) when the door swung open and the headmaster, Mr. Sanji, walked in looking nervous.  
  
"Mrs. Lung, we need to...uh...Shin, please stand up." He didn't even finish before two armed police officers walked in and went straight to Shin who had stood up by now.  
  
'Holy shit!' Xiu thought, paling slightly. 'What on Earth?' He knew Shin would NEVER do anything bad enough to attract police attention. 'Would he?' Mr. Sangi didn't stop the officers when they walked up on either side of Shin who didn't look at all surprised to see them. They took either side of the row he was sitting in and, as Shin sat directly behind Touma, they had to walk passed him. Just as they got to his seat, Touma looked opened his mouth and looked like he was going to jump up.  
  
"Shut up." Shin hissed, kicking Touma's chair. "Sit!" Touma obediently sat before either of the police officers could see him do anything.  
  
"Mouri Shin?" One of the police officers said, stepping passed Touma who was now staring at his hands on his desk. He was sweating and looked very pale.   
  
'Touma knows something and Shin's protecting him.' Xiu thought shrewdly. He knew very well that Shin would protect Touma from anything and the fact that Touma was hurt this morning Xiu was pretty sure what Touma was being protected from. 'Shin finally did it.' Xiu had to honestly admit he didn't think Shin would do anything to really hurt Mr. Hashiba. Sure, Shin talked about it a lot. All the time. Especially after Touma had come to school half dead a few days ago with Ryo, but everyone talked about doing that sort of thing to someone. Shin must have really attacked Touma's dad.  
  
Shin nodded pleasantly at the police officers. "I am under arrest?"   
  
"Yes." They sounded mildly surprised that Shin was taking it so well. So well, in fact, that Shin held out his hands to be handcuffed.  
  
Xiu almost fell out of his chair when one of the officers pulled out a pair of handcuffs and fastened them firmly on Shin's wrists. Everyone stared, stunned and whispering while Shin was read his rights and just nodded to show he understood. 'I hate it when I'm right.'  
  
"Mouri Shin, you are accused of assault and battery of Mr. Hashiba Takashi. Your parents will be notified by the school, if you'll come with us."  
  
Xiu was halfway out of his seat, ready and willing to fight for Shin, when he caught Shin's eye. With the briefest of shake of his head, Shin told Xiu to sit down and be silent. He jerked his head toward Touma.  
  
Touma was hunched over with half the kids in class glaring at him, obviously thinking that Touma was somehow getting Shin into trouble. Touma's face was buried in his hands and Xiu saw Touma was shaking more violently than he had before. 'Shin wants me to take care of Touma while he can't. Shit! Shit! Of all the days for Seiji not to be here!' Xiu settled in, forcing himself not to do anything while Shin was led away, with one police officer on either side of him. 'Shin knew this was going to happen. That's why he told Mrs. Lung he wasn't going to be here today.'  
  
Shin was led away silently and Touma looked like he wanted to kill himself on the spot.  
  
  
  
  
Later-  
  
  
  
  
Xiu had managed to corner Touma in the cafeteria, but his friend wouldn't tell him anything. "Just leave me the fuck alone!" Touma had screamed when confronted. Everyone, once again, turned to stare.  
  
"Touma! Just tell me, did Shin..."  
  
"Did he beat the shit out of my dad?" Touma rounded on Xiu with tears in his eyes. "Shin got to my place when my dad was busy turning my face into mashed potatoes and he...Shin..." Touma started to break down. "Shin took a knife out of his school bag...and...and..."  
  
'Crap.' Xiu wrapped his arms around Touma, not caring about what anyone else would think. "It'll be OK, Touma." He started to pull Touma out of the crowded cafeteria to find some place more private to talk. "Everything will work out."  
  
"How?" Touma asked once they were in the relative quite of the hallway.  
  
"I don't know." It was honest, but Xiu was really wishing he could lie to Touma. Touma could use a few happy lies right now. "We'll think of something though."  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"To the nurse." Xiu answered. "You look like you could use a nap, pal." 'And I need to make a phone call.' He HAD to know if Seiji was all right or not. If he was all right, Xiu was going to kill him for not coming to school on the one day everyone needed him. 'I'm no good at this emotional thing! Seiji should be here to talk to Touma. Seiji would know what to do.'   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma, in the end, had to be sedated by the nurse. A few pain killers and something to make him sleep that wouldn't give him nightmares. Xiu sat with him while Touma lay on the cot in the nurse's office. It was a fairly private area, actually behind the main nurse's office, where patients could sleep and not be woken up by people walking in and out to talk to the nurse. Touma was laying on one of the four cots, covered in a well-used blanket and he looked up at Xiu though half-closed eyes. Since Touma was so thin and hurt, the nurse had said, that the medicine would work very quickly. He all ready looked like he was about to fall asleep.  
  
"I don't know what to do, Xiu." Touma's hands were clenching and unclenching on the blankets. "Shin's gonna go to jail 'cause of me. If I tell the cops my dad was hurting me and that Shin was protecting me, my dad will go to jail. What do I do?" Touma's face, still healing from the last beating, was swollen and his left eye was now turning black again. He hadn't been given enough time to heal, not that he ever was.  
  
Xiu took Touma's skinny hand in his own and patted it reassuringly, but by now Touma's eyes had drifted closed and Xiu wasn't sure Touma could hear him. "I think you should let your dad rot in jail. I think you should go live with Shin's family, like he's offered you a dozen times or more. I think your dad deserves to be drowned in a vat of pig's and that you'd be better off being raised by monkey's."  
  
Touma was snoring.  
  
Xiu patted Touma's hand again before setting it down on Touma's chest and straightening his friend out so he would be most comfortable. He tucked Touma in, closed all the shades so the light wouldn't wake up Touma, and ran a hand though Touma's hair, brushing the bangs out of Touma's face. "Then again, I'm just the fat, dumb chink, right? All muscle and no brain. No one listens to what I say, so why should you?"  
  
Xiu suddenly flashed back to what Touma had said. "Shin's going to jail 'cause of me." Shouldn't that have been, "Shin's going to jail because of my dad"? Something about the way Touma had said it just didn't sound right.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Once he was sure that Touma was fast asleep Xiu left, closing the door firmly behind him. "Hey, miss Reiko, can I use the phone?"  
  
Miss Reiko, the nurse, gave Xiu an icy look. "Sure, if you'll tell me what happened to him?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"No lies, young man!" She looked at him from over the rims of her glasses. "I've heard the police arrested poor Shin and now this!" She waved an arm toward the door that Touma was safely behind. "I want to know the truth, I've seen him often enough to know that something's up, but I can't do a thing unless I have something to go on!"  
  
Xiu liked Miss Reiko, she reminded him of his mama, but this was Touma's concern and he didn't want to do anything that would upset Touma. It was all going to come to light soon, anyway. "You'll find out soon enough. Ask Touma when he wakes up, maybe he'll tell you. Have you heard from Date Seiji, by the way?"  
  
"His mom called a little while ago and said he was staying home. Why? Didn't lover boy carry your books to school this morning?"   
  
"For your information, I carry HIS books to school!" Xiu answered back in his best snotty tone. He liked play fighting with Miss Reiko. She was the first, first adult, anyway, who'd found out that Xiu and Seiji were dating and Miss Reiko liked to tease. "He's my boyfriend, I just like to know where he is."  
  
"Just don't forget about Touma, all right? I'd like you to be here when he wakes up since he didn't want me to call his dad. He'll need someone he trusts to talk to." Miss Reiko grunted sourly, but handed Xiu the phone. "I've got a pretty good idea from what rumors I hear. Real friends wouldn't let this go on, you know? He can't take to much more."  
  
Xiu felt very guilty with that remark. "It won't. Touma would let himself get killed, if it was just him being hurt. Now that Shin's involved, too, I think he'll stop it."  
  
"You think?"  
  
Xiu shrugged. "Touma loves his dad. The only question is, does he loves his dad more than he loves Shin."  
  
"You think he loves Shin?"  
  
Xiu blushed at what he'd just said. "I didn't mean it like that. It's not like me and Sei-chan. But I think Shin means more to Touma than anyone else. They're best friends and Touma's never had many friends to begin with. I don't think he'd let anything hurt Shin."  
  
Miss Reiko excused herself to go check on Touma and Xiu dialed Seiji's number.  
Xiu plopped himself down in Miss Reiko's chair, listening to the phone ring for a minute.   
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Date." Xiu said. "Can I talk to Seiji? It's important?"  
  
"Sure, Xiu, honey. He's just in the bath with Ryo." She must have put the phone down because Xiu heard her yell, "Seiji! Phone!"  
  
'What?' Xiu scowled. 'What's he doing in the bath with Ryo?! If he took the day off to fool around with Ryo I'll kill both of them! How dare Ryo get that close to MY Sei-Chan!'   
  
There was a short wait before Seiji's voice said, "Hello?"  
  
"Sei-Chan!" Xiu barked. "Where the Hell were you? I waited for you for almost a twenty minutes this morning and I was late getting to school. What's up? You're never late."  
  
Seiji really did sound sorry when he said, "I'm sorry, Koibito. Something unexpected turned up..."  
  
"Well, something unexpected at school today, too!" Xiu shouted, this time he was most definitely angry. "Shin was arrested!" He'd talk to Seiji about Ryo in person. That was a little to personal to talk about over the phone.  
  
There was a scream on the other end of the phone that was definitely not Seiji's voice. "What the Hell was that!" Xiu demanded.  
  
No answer.  
  
"Sei-chan? Are you there?"  
  
Still, no answer.  
  
"Seiji? Seiji?" Xiu's voice got more and more panicked when he heard doors slamming and yelling on the other end. "Seiji!" Xiu was left staring at the phone and his heart thudding painfully. 'I can't leave Touma, not now. He needs me.' But...someone at the other end hung up the phone.  
  
Xiu took a deep breath and hung up the phone, too. There was nothing he could do now.  
  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seiji's head jerked away from the phone when Ryo screamed and he only barely heard Xiu yelling, "What the Hell was that?!"  
  
Seiji dropped the phone without answering, trusting that Xiu would forgive him, and was instantly at the bathroom door where he'd left Ryo asleep in the bathtub.   
  
"Ryo?!" Seiji swung the door open and the first thing he saw was the fire. Seiji felt the terrible heat explode out from the room when he'd opened the door. It blazed brightly on the sink cabinet, but had spread, somehow to the curtains on the window.   
  
Ryo was awake, now, and stunned as he stared at the flaming curtains with a horrified look. But he still sat in the bathtub, as if he couldn't move. Ryo's hands clutched the side of the bathtub, terrified.  
  
"Shit!" Seiji dashed into the bathroom, holding his hand up to shield himself from the fire. "Mom! Grandfather!" Seiji yelled even as he skidded to his knees at the bathtub, and started scooping handfuls of water out of the tub with his hands. It only took a couple of splashes to put out the fire that had spread onto the sink counter and another couple to extinguish the curtains.  
  
When it was over, the bathroom was filled with smoke and smelled horribly of ash. Ryo was still staring at the bathroom window, his face as white as chalk and his mouth hanging open. He was also now soaking wet from when Seiji had been throwing water around the room.   
  
"Ryo?" Seiji was panting hard, his adrenaline was up so much, but Ryo didn't answer and kept staring at the window. Seiji reached out and grabbed Ryo's shoulder only to have Ryo jump away from him violently. Ryo stared at Seiji for a minute, as if he didn't recognize him but instantly calmed down. "Ryo, what happened in here?"  
  
Ryo bit his lip and cast another look back at the window, now decorated with blackened remains of the curtains. "I...I..."  
  
"Sei-chan!" Seiji's mom appeared in the doorway with his grandfather at her heels. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out when she saw the state of the bathroom and Seiji couldn't blame her. Everything was ruined. It was a disaster and her eyes focused on the obvious cause of the fire.  
  
Seiji wanted to die when he followed her eyes and saw. "My candle." Seiji muttered, paling when he saw the small candlestick that had fallen over. He'd lit the candle to help Ryo relax and feel better, it was common in his religion to use candles for such things. 'It's my fault.' Seiji thought. It was his fault that their home could have burned down. His fault that Ryo almost... "Oh, Ryo." Seiji looked at his friend guiltily. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Ryo's expression of shock softened slightly. "Sorry?"  
  
Seiji's hands were shaking when he got a towel for Ryo and held it out to him. 'I could have killed him! I could have killed Ryo all because I forgot about the candle. He'll never forgive me.' He put the dry towel around Ryo's shoulders and helped him out of the tub. Ryo was still wearing his borrowed pants, but his chest was bare and he was starting to look cold.  
  
"Seiji."  
  
Seiji flinched. He turned slowly at his grandfather's cold voice and found what he expected. Grandfather glaring at him like he was an unwanted rodent in the pantry and his mother still gaping at the bathroom with a hand to her mouth.   
  
"Sei...Seiji?" His mother shook her head, to get a hold of herself, and wheeled herself partially into the bathroom. "Is everyone all right? Ryo?"  
  
Ryo nodded silently and looked away from Seiji, unwilling to meet Seiji's eyes.   
  
'I don't blame him! I'm such an irresponsible idiot! I wanted to bring him here so he'd be safe, not burn him to death. He was finally relaxed enough to fall asleep and get some rest and now he's never going to want to even look at me again, let alone be comfortable around me. Touma's going to stick an arrow in me when he finds I almost killed Ryo and Shin...OH GOD! Shin's going to rip me up one side and down the other!' Seiji didn't realize his thoughts were running away with him until his Grandfather put a heavy hand on his shoulder.  
  
"I'll see you in the family room, Seiji."  
  
Seiji lowered his head, properly shamed. "Yes, grandfather." There was no way out of this punishment, even if he wanted to and Seiji knew he deserved this one.  
  
As he walked by, Seiji's grandfather hung up the telephone without checking it and Seiji could only hope Xiu would forgive him later.  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
Ryo watched Seiji be led away by his grandfather, his head hanging like a whipped dog, or rather like a dog who knew he was about to get a whipping. Ryo felt guilty and he knew he should speak up to defend Seiji, but that would mean telling everyone what really happened when Seiji wasn't in the room. Ryo didn't even want to look at Seiji for fear of the look in Seiji's eyes. Seiji thought it was his fault when Ryo had done it all.  
  
  
  
  
Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo was sound asleep, the tiny flame of Seiji's candle was a comfort. Even it's weak light and almost non-existent heat made Ryo feel more at home. The warm water was so restful...he couldn't help falling asleep.  
  
"Ryo." The voice was whispered and started to wake Ryo from his lovely dreams. Dreams of what his family might have been like if mom had still been alive. If only mom hadn't died. If granma wasn't sick. There were so many 'if's' and Ryo had an unlimited possibilities of what his life could have been like in happier circumstances. He didn't want to wake from the dream, but the voice called again. "Ryo."  
  
Very slowly, Ryo woke up, still in the bathtub and still leaning on the side of the tub. The candle flickered cheerfully and Ryo smiled at it. Ryo found himself alone in the bathtub, Seiji must have gone somewhere. Everything was perfect here and Ryo wished he could stay at Seiji's home forever. If he had been Seiji's brother...now that was an interesting dream.  
  
"Wake up, Ryo."  
  
"Who...?" The voice was coming from behind him, from the window. Ryo turned slowly and saw...saw...saw... "No."  
  
In the window was an arm, sticking into the room almost up to the person's elbow, but no face to put with the arm.  
  
"Oh, n-n-no. N-n-no." Ryo's stutter came back with a vengeance at what the hand was holding.  
  
A long chuck of bloody, pink hair. Ryo just sat there, staring. Joji? Joji was the only person Ryo knew who had pink hair.  
  
Before Ryo could finish that thought a face appeared in the window and the arm withdrew a little. It was a good-looking face with a dark smile. "Hello, Ryo. I've been wanting to meet you. I've heard so much about you, but Yoko was determined that you keep away from me. Now don't you think that's rude?" He leered down at Ryo. "I just wanted to introduce myself, though I'm sure you've heard of me from Yoko and Joji." His grin, if anything, became darker. "You'll know me as Shit Face."   
  
Ryo opened his mouth to scream, but Shit Face said, "I wouldn't if I were you."   
  
Shit Face was bad news, Yoko had told and him time and time again that if he ever ran into Shit Face he had to run for his life. There was no where to run and his guy had hurt Joji, maybe he'd hurt Yoko, too. No where to run.  
  
Ryo's mind felt like it was on fire and it reached out for the only source of comfort that it had: the tiny candle Seiji had left burning. The little flame instantly grew, flaring out to get the threat away from Ryo. It slipped down from the candle and onto the cabinet before making an impossible leap to the window. Ryo screamed in terror, more at seeing the face of the one man he'd been afraid of seeing since coming to this city that from fear of the fire.  
  
"Wow!" Shit Face muttered and his face, arm, and Joji's hair, vanished from the window. With no other place to go, the fire spread to the curtains around the window.  
  
'He...he saw me. He knows who I am.' Ryo stared at the window, afraid that the face would come back. 'He had Joji's hair. Did he hurt Joji? He must have because there was blood on the hair, I'm sure of it!' Ryo was almost unaware of the fire around him. It made him feel safer to have it all around like this, so he had no thoughts to put it out. 'Yoko said Shit Face does horrible things to boys and I should never even look at him. He knows where Seiji lives, what if he tries to hurt Seiji? I can't stay here, Shit Face will come back and he might hurt Seiji.'  
  
Ryo wasn't even aware that Seiji was in the room until a splash of water hit him in the head and Seiji grabbed his shoulder. Ryo jumped, startled. Seiji looked at him with such worry and guilt.  
  
  
  
  
  
End Flash back-  
  
  
  
  
  
'I'm such a coward.' Ryo thought, watching Seiji be led away by his grandfather. 'I should say something, but what? A pimp was at the window threatening me with a bit of someone's hair so I set fire to your bathroom?' Yeah. That would go over well.' But could he just let Seiji be punished?  
  
Dr. Date looked like she was going to cry for a minute, before she looked at Ryo and got a hold of herself. "Ryo, dear. Are you all right?"  
  
Ryo nodded and tried to explain to Dr. Date. "It w-w-wasn't S-S-Seiji's fault." Damn! His stutter was worse now that he knew Shit Face was somewhere close. He could be lurking just outside the door. He could be anywhere!  
  
Dr. Date shook her head. "He left the candle burning and it's a rule in this house that he doesn't leave any room with a candle burning. Seiji knows that and it was his responsibility to put out the candle. It doesn't matter what else happened, I'm just glad no one was hurt. The damage here isn't all that bad. It looks a lot worse than it is. At least no one was hurt."  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
  
"How dare you endanger a guest!?" Grandfather raged once he and Seiji were alone. His eyes were filled with his rarely seen fury and Seiji kept his eyes carefully on the floor. Grandfather was very good at controlling his temper and if he was yelling, that only proved how much trouble Seiji was in. "You know the rules of this family and you put that boy's life in danger, not to mention your mother's life!"  
  
"I didn't know..."  
  
Seiji's grandfather didn't let him finish. "I don't want to hear it! You only left the room for a minute? Well, that's all it took. This whole house could have burnt down!" He raised a hand, pointing toward the door that led to the basement. "You know where you belong."  
  
Seiji balked and stayed rooted to the floor.  
  
"Do not even think about disobeying, Seiji." His grandfather said in a cold voice. "You earned this."  
  
"Yes, grandfather." Seiji replied reluctantly, though he knew his grandfather was right. 'I hate this!'  
  
  
  
  
  
Two minutes later-  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'll come for you when you're punishment is over."  
  
That was the last thing Seiji heard before the door was closed behind him and he heard it lock and Seiji was alone in the darkness of the basement.  
  
"Damn." Seiji felt for the handrail of the stairs and carefully made his way down the steps to the basement. He hated the darkness and almost never came down here. Only if his mother desperately needed something would he go down, even then, it was only when he absolutely had to.   
  
There was something terribly oppressive about the darkness. Like the whole world was taken away from him, leaving him hanging in an empty void. At night, there was always a moon or stars to give a bit of light. Even if there was a storm at night, there was usually lightening that would disturb the dark. Now... there wasn't even a chance of light.  
  
Seiji's grandfather knew only to well that the best punishment was to take light away from Seiji. There were no lights down here and, before he'd left, Seiji's grandfather had taken the only flashlight. Seiji hadn't been punished like this for a couple of years, so this was also more than a little demeaning. He was being treated like a child.  
  
Fortunately, by now, Seiji knew his way around the basement pretty well. He'd been locked in her often enough in the past. Three steps down, step over the wobbly step, two more steps before the bottom. Once at the bottom, Seiji sat on the bottom step and didn't intend to move for the next few hours, until his grandfather let him out. There was no reason for him to move around so he wouldn't.   
  
Seiji closed his eyes and tried to pretend he was in bed and asleep. It didn't help much, but it was a little better. It almost made him forget the horrible fear that surrounded him with the darkness.  
  
  
  
  
  
Two hours later-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Seiji? Are you there?"  
  
Seiji looked up, surprised at the voice. "Xiu? Is that you?"  
  
"Who else would cut class and risk a detention AND a grounding just to visit your sorry ass?"  
  
Seiji smiled and went back up the stairs to the door. He leaned his ear against the door so he could better hear Xiu. "Does my mom or grandfather know you're here?"  
  
Xiu laughed softly from the other side of the door. "Are you joking? You know how your grandpa gets when you act up. He wouldn't even let me in the door if he thought I was coming to visit you."  
  
"You snuck in?" Seiji was a bit surprised. "How did you passed grandfather?"  
  
"He's talking with some old lady. Who's she, anyway? I noticed Ryo," Xiu paused for a minute and Seiji heard the jangle of something. "Your mom was fussing over him quite a bit." Xiu didn't have to worry about getting around in Seiji's house as Seiji had long since given him house keys. That way, if Xiu needed it, he'd always have a place to go.  
  
Seiji stepped down one step when he heard the click of the door being unlocked. Light flooded in for just a moment and Seiji could see Xiu as he stepped in. Seiji very thankful for the light and for Xiu who had brought the light, that he instantly launched himself into Xiu's arms. "I'm SO glad to see you."  
  
Xiu hugged him back with a low chuckled before closing and re-locking the door behind him, putting both of the boys in darkness again. Seiji didn't feel the panic that had set in when he'd been alone, though. With Xiu holding his hand as they walked down the stairs Seiji felt much braver. "You think I'd leave you alone in the dark?" Xiu asked teasingly when they sat down on the bottom step. "Your grandpa is crazy, I'm telling ya. Who would lock someone afraid of the dark in a pitched black basement?"  
  
Seiji squeezed Xiu's hand. "Never mind that," Though it was nice to know that Xiu was thinking of him, Seiji just couldn't approve of someone speaking badly about his family. "What's going on with Shin? What was all that about him getting arrested?" He felt better just holding Xiu's big, muscular hand and listening to Xiu's relaxing voice. Everything about Xiu was strong and made Seiji feel safe. "What did they say he did?"  
  
"Something about assault and battery. I think he finally attacked Mr. Hashiba, but it's not what they think." Xiu put his arm around Seiji and gently pulled Seiji in closer. "Touma was hurt, again, when he and Shin came to school. Miss Reiko had to give him something to make him sleep and when he woke up he told me what really happened."  
  
"Let me guess," Seiji said, leaning his head against Xiu's shoulder. "Shin walked in on Touma getting a beating and pulled that knife of his. He stabbed Mr. Hashiba or..." Seiji's eyes widened at a thought that just occurred to him. "Oh no, he didn't kill Touma's dad, did he?"  
  
Xiu put his head against the top of. "Nope. You're never going to believe this, but..."  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	8. IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

WARNING: I'm a very bad person. Poor Ryo. Please, if you read, tell me if I made you cry for Ryo.  
  
  
  
  
  
Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 8  
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!  
  
  
  
  
  
In a well-lit room, very respectable, by all means, a middle-aged man passed a wineglass to his dining companion. His hair had long since turned grey and his face was beginning to show lines and wrinkles in an otherwise good looking face. His dining companion, though considerably younger, was no less polished in his appearance, wearing a dark blue suit with a plain white shirt. His hair was oiled and combed back, away from his handsome face.  
  
"Thank you, your grace." The man in the blue suit said, accepting the glass of wine. "You're most kind to invite me to your home."  
  
"Not at all." The grey haired man sat poured himself another glass of wine before sitting back comfortably in his chair. "It's the least I could do for a business associate."  
  
"I'm afraid I should be the one taking you out to dinner, Bishop. You've done me a great favor, shutting down that shelter. With that closed, I won't have to worry about that psycho nun messing in my business or with my boys and girls."  
  
Bishop Brannon shrugged carelessly. "Well...it had to be done, anyway. The building really was quite awful. Sooner or later I'd have had to do it, so why not now when I could get something out of it?"  
  
The man in the blue suit laughed. "Very wise, your grace. This way, I'll be able to get my hands on that blue haired Touma, too. The next time he goes looking for a safe place to sleep, he won't have much of a choice. Yoko and Joji won't be able to help by taking him to the shelter, next time."  
  
"Did you kill them? Seems strange. They brought you good money, didn't they?"  
  
"Now, now, your grace." The man in the blue suit grinned. "Do you really want to know? I don't think the answer would make you happy. You really don't have to worry about them. I'll get Ryo for you, too."  
  
"You're sure this will work?" Bishop Brannon asked. "You think he'll come to you?"  
  
"Very sure. Ryo's been on the streets for a while and the pressure's building. I've been watching him. He can't find a job without a high school diploma and he's got the old woman to take care of. I saw him cleaning up some old gas station to live in, now that the shelter's closed." He laughed before taking a sip of his wine. "I'll give him a day or so before approaching him again."  
  
"He might not accept. That boy's very proud, from what I hear and he's a regular little hell-cat these days."  
  
The man in the blue suit looked out the window at a fine evening sunset, with lovely red tinted clouds stretching across the horizon. "Oh, he'll accept. I've known lots of boy's like him. Once he gets desperate enough for money, he'll come crying for help and I'll be the only one he can turn to. The government doesn't give a shit and he knows it. The shelters are all full right now and to busy to care about one kid and his grandmother. What friends does he have? Not a one who'd be willing to lend him a buck, I'll bet. He'll come, just give him a little while to realize he doesn't have any choice. As for his being a hell-cat," The man in the blue suit grinned at the bishop. "That's your problem, isn't it?"  
  
Bishop Brannon blushed slightly, but didn't deny what the other man was insinuating. "Ryo is...precious to me."  
  
"Precious? Ha! You mean he's a good fuck, don't you? Aren't you supposed to be honest, your grace?" He didn't even look phased at the Bishop's sour glare. "Don't you worry. I'll see to it that Ryo's first job is with you."  
  
Bishop Brannon nodded and looked into his glass and studied the dark red liquid, so much like blood. "Yes. Thank you. I haven't had a chance to be alone with him in a long while. So long."  
  
"This is a business deal that suits both of us, your grace. We'll both get what we want. I'll get Touma and you'll get Ryo."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
Ryo sneezed and wondered who was talking about him. Right now he'd been confined to bed, strict instructions from Dr. Date, after the ordeal in the bathroom. He'd tried more than once to explain that it wasn't Seiji's fault that the bathroom caught on fire. Ryo told her that he must have been dreaming and kicked the candle or something, but she said it didn't matter.  
  
"It was his responsibility to take care of the candle and he'll pay for his mistake like a man." She told him. "Now, you stay here and rest. You're grandmother's sleeping all ready and I think you should get some sleep while you're here. If you need anything, just let me know."  
  
Ryo ventured, as he sat on the bed on the floor. "C-can I see Seiji?" He wanted to apologize, if nothing else, for getting Seiji in trouble.  
  
"Maybe later, Ryo. Seiji needs some time to think, first."  
  
"He's in the h-house?" Ryo's thoughts were anxiously on Shit Face and where he could be. If Seiji left the house he might not be safe and Ryo didn't know if he was strong enough to protect his friend anyway.  
  
"Yes." Dr. Date looked a little puzzled. "Why wouldn't he be? We wouldn't kick him out of the house for just a little fire. Even Seiji's grandfather isn't that strict."  
  
Ryo shrugged and just turned away from her. Seiji would be safe and Ryo was pretty sure Shit Face wouldn't care about Mr. Date or Dr. Date, so they'd be safe enough. He also wouldn't care about Ryo's granma, either. It was just Seiji he had to worry about. 'I'll have to leave soon, make sure Shit Faces knows I'm not here anymore so he won't hang around Seiji's house.'  
  
Thinking of Shit Face made Ryo remember things he didn't want to remember. It made him think of Joji and what Joji did to survive, letting people touch him. 'I let HIM touch me.'   
  
Ryo shook his head slightly, trying to rid himself of the thoughts. Joji was hurt, now, and Ryo wanted to help, but he had no idea how unless he went to Shit Face. Yoko had always told him to never go near Shit Face, though.   
  
"Ryo?"  
  
Ryo whipped around. He'd forgotten that Dr. Date was still in the room with him. She looked worried and wheeled herself a bit closer to him. "Are you all right?"  
  
Ryo nodded, putting a smile on his face. There was no need to worry her.   
  
"Well, so long as you're OK. I know it's still early in the morning, Ryo, but I want you to try to get some sleep, all right?" Dr. Date said, going back to the door of what must have been a guest bedroom. Before she closed the sliding door, Dr. Date smiled at Ryo. "I'll be right down the hall, holler if you need me."  
  
When the door had slid closed, Ryo lay down on the thin mattress and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't want to remember or think about someone touching him. He really didn't want to remember.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo's Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Now, you remember to be a good boy, Ryo."  
  
"Yes, granma." Ryo said, curiously looking around. "Where are we going?"  
  
"To the local church, dear." She held his hand tightly so he wouldn't get lost in the overwhelming crowds that cluttered the streets.   
  
Instead of resenting the idea that he needed to be protected, Ryo clung to his granma's hand. He'd never thought there would be so many people in the city! Ryo had never seen so many people in his whole life, even on the rare trips down the village had Ryo seen so many people. They were everywhere and all seemed to be rushing around for no special reason. People bumped against Ryo, knocking him into his granma's legs and didn't even stop to apologize! There was an ever-present noise, cars honking and people talking, sometimes shouting to each other. Ryo stayed very close to his granma, as she didn't seem at all frightened by all these people.  
  
"What's a church, granma?" Ryo asked.  
  
"A safe place. It's against my better judgment to ask for help, but just this once we'll ask the Father to give us a place to sleep for a few nights. I'll find a job soon enough and we'll be on our way."  
  
"Father?" Ryo repeated, thinking of the faded memory of his own father. "Is daddy there?"  
  
Granma's hand tightened on Ryo's and she replied tightly. "No, dear, not your daddy. This is a good father. He's going to help us, so you make sure you're polite to him and do whatever he asks, all right?"   
  
If nothing else, Ryo knew that granma was always right. She was so smart and always knew what to do. "Yes, granma."  
  
"Good boy. Ah, here we are." Ryo looked up and saw that they'd stopped outside a very large building made of stone. The doors were huge and made of wood and the windows were all colors of glass made into strange, beautiful pictures. "Let's make you look respectable." Granma ran her fingers through Ryo's hair and straightened his clothes somewhat. "Best behavior, remember. We're not in the wilderness, anymore. You've got to act civilized."  
  
Together they walked into the large church.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Father Brannon seemed very nice and gave Ryo a lolly-pop when he took them into his office to talk. He was a very big man, or so he seemed to little eleven-year-old Ryo. He had a kind smile and patted Ryo's head with a big, gentle hand.   
  
"We don't need to stay long," Granma was explaining, trying not to sound embarrassed. "We've fallen on hard times and I need to find a job quickly." She still held Ryo's hand possessively. "It's the boy, you see. I need somewhere safe for him while I'm out looking for a job. I've heard such good things about the church in this area and I thought..." It was very clear that it was killing her to admit she needed help.  
  
Father Brannon laughed heartily. "No need to worry. I live in the back of the church and Ryo's more than welcome to stay with me. There's space in one of our back rooms you two can have somewhere to sleep and I've got plenty of food to share." He looked at Ryo. "We'll get to know each other quite well, won't we, Ryo?"  
  
Ryo nodded, smiling. This whole civilization thing wasn't going to be so hard, really. Not if everyone was as nice as Father Brannon was.  
  
  
  
  
It started easily enough. Granma went out the next morning looking for a job and Ryo stayed behind with Father Brannon. They talked and laughed about all kinds of things and Ryo liked the man. He liked how Father Brannon told him strange stories of things that happened long ago, like floods and giant fish swallowing people. Some guy who got nailed to a tree because he thought people should be nice to each other. Ryo helped to sweep up the church and any other little thing he could think of to help.   
  
It was on the third day that Father Brannon started to act strange. Ryo had never really known his own dad. His only experience with people had been his mom and then his granma, so he didn't know how men acted. Ryo didn't know that it was wrong to touch people in certain ways.  
  
"Sit with me, Ryo."  
  
They were in Father Brannon's private parlor, a room at the back of the church where he pretty much lived. The parlor was warmly lit and the windows let lots of sunshine in. There was a big couch with a blue plaid covering and red striped pillows. A tiny, old television and a radio were the only modern things in the room, except for a very fancy looking computer. Of course, since it was the first computer Ryo had ever seen, any would have looked fancy to him.  
  
Ryo cheerfully bounced over to the couch and sat next to Father Brannon. In the passed three days he'd developed a kind of hero worship concerning Father Brannon. The man was strong, very smart, and kind. He was almost perfect as far as Ryo was concerned.  
  
Father Brannon put his arm around Ryo and hugged him tightly. "Do you like being here, Ryo?"  
  
Ryo nodded, he liked the good food and he liked being warm all the time. "Sure do, sir. This is almost as good as back home, 'cept here I don't have Yaku-Chan." Ryo hadn't seen Byakuen in several days and thought that perhaps his friend had gone back to the forest to hunt again.   
  
"Yaku-Chan?"  
  
"Yep!" Ryo smiled. "Yaku-Chan's my best friend. He's a tiger and he taught me how to hunt and how to take care of myself."   
  
Father Brannon's arm tightened around Ryo. "Now, Ryo. It isn't nice to lie. Our Lord God teaches us that we must never tell lies."  
  
"I'm not lying!" Ryo protested. Granma had always told him that he must never, never tell lies. "Yaku-Chan is my best friend. You can meet him if you want. He'll come back soon."  
  
"There are no tigers in Japan, Ryo. They live in India. Is he an imaginary friend?"  
  
"No, sir, he's real as anything!"  
  
Father Brannon inched himself a little closer to Ryo, keeping one arm around Ryo's shoulders. "You mustn't tell me lies, Ryo. You'll have to be punished for lies, you know." Ryo suddenly found he didn't like it when Father Brannon hugged him. That was weird. He usually liked hugs. It was just silly to feel strange just because of a hug. Granma said Father Brannon was a good person and that he'd take care of them.   
  
"Punished?"   
  
"Yes." Father Brannon turned and looked at Ryo, moving his face so he was uncomfortably close to Ryo. "Your granma said if you were bad, that I was to discipline you. Do you know what that means?"  
  
"It...it means a spanking?" Ryo ventured. Granma never punished him like that, but his mom had and Ryo had fading memories of his dad spanking him. Ryo was horrified. He thought his granma trusted him and then she went and told Father Brannon that he might be bad?! "But...I'm not bad." Ryo said in a small voice. He admired Father Brannon and didn't want the man to think poorly of him.  
  
"But you told me a lie." Father Brannon put one hand on Ryo's arm to pull him up and put the other hand on Ryo's cheek. "Lies are bad, you know that, don't you? Of course you do." By now, Ryo was standing in front of Father Brannon with the man's hands on his shoulders. "I don't want to do this, but it's for your own good. Take down your pants."  
  
Ryo's mouth fell open. "B-but...I didn't lie."  
  
"I don't want to hear another lie." Father Brannon said gently, shaking his head. "This is for your own good so you'll learn not to lie." Father Brannon took his hands off Ryo and folded them on his lap. "Do as I say, Ryo."  
  
Ryo bit his lip nervously, not quite sure what he should do. His granma said to be good and that he was supposed to do what Father Brannon told him to do.  
  
"You don't have to be shy." Father Brannon said. "There's only you and I here and the door is locked so no one will come in." Ryo didn't like the look in Father Brannon's eye, though he wasn't sure why.  
  
"Do you want me to help you?"  
  
Ryo shook his head. "No. I-I can do it." He had to do what Father Brannon wanted or his granma would be disappointed. Ryo unfastened his belt and started to take his pants down, all the while reminding himself, 'This isn't horrible. He's a father and father's are supposed to do this sort of thing. Father's spank kids when they're bad. I didn't mean to be bad, but if I was I guess I deserve this.'  
  
Ryo let his pants fall down to his ankles and couldn't help the embarrassed flush that came to his face as he stood there in nothing but his boxers. For a moment, Father Brannon just stared at Ryo. Father Brannon's eyes felt hot when they looked Ryo up and down, but Ryo didn't know why. He was starting to get a bad feeling about this.  
  
"Your underwear, too, Ryo."  
  
'This is OK. He's a father and father's don't hurt kids.' Ryo pulled his boxers down, letting them fall down with his pants around his ankles. 'This is OK.' Ryo was starting to get cold and goose bumps rose on his exposed skin.   
  
At first, Ryo tried to cover his privates with his hands, but Father Brannon reached out and took both of Ryo's wrists, pulling them away from his private place, as granma called 'down there', and gave Ryo a gentle tug towards him. "Lay down, Ryo. This will only hurt for a minute." He guided Ryo into getting on the couch and then helped Ryo to lay face down on the man's lap. His legs and face were both on the couch while only his middle part was on Father Brannon.  
  
Ryo tried to turn around to see what Father Brannon was doing, but a soft hand touched his head and encouraged him to put his head down on the couch cushions. "Just relax."  
  
Ryo swallowed hard and did as he was told. He knew, absolutely, that he was doing a good thing by listening to Father Brannon. His granma would be happy that he was being a good boy. But Ryo was having a hard time breathing and his heart was beating very quickly.   
  
The first slap on his bare bottom was hard and made Ryo squeak in surprise, his whole body jerking. "Shhh." Father Brannon patted Ryo's hair softly. "That's just the start, Ryo. You deserve this for lying, remember." Another slap and Ryo scrunched his face up, biting his tongue so he wouldn't yell out. Again and again, with more force the blows came until Ryo couldn't stand the pain any more and was crying into the couch cushions with his hands clutched around one of the red striped pillows. Father Brannon showed no signs of stopping, just kept pounding away on Ryo.  
  
Finally, it stopped. Ryo still sobbed into the couch, but Father Brannon didn't hit him again. "Poor, Ryo." Ryo felt Father Brannon's hand on his bottom again, but this time just rubbed him. "I'm sorry I had to hurt you, but you need to learn not to sin."   
  
Ryo jerked away from Father Brannon's touch, his butt felt like it was on fire!  
  
"It's all over." Father Brannon's other hand patted Ryo's head. "It's all over. The hurt will go away in a little while and if you're good, I won't have to do that again. Here, sit up."  
  
Ryo felt so weak and worn out that he didn't want to move, but Father Brannon pulled him into a sitting position on his lap. Ryo leaned his cheek against Father Brannon's chest when he was sitting up; unable to resist when the Father put a hand against Ryo's head and pulled him in for a hug. "It hurts." Ryo whispered though his tears. He didn't want to sit; he just wanted to lay down on his stomach again.   
  
"I know. That's why you must always be good for me. Always do what I tell you to do."  
  
Ryo nodded and sniffed, trying to stop his crying. 'It's all over. I'll be good now. But, I wasn't lying about Yaku-Chan.'   
  
Father Brannon held Ryo like this until Ryo had stopped crying, all the while rubbing his back and whispering gently to him that it would be all right so long as Ryo was a good boy from now on.   
  
"We won't tell your granma about this, Ryo." Father Brannon said after a little while when he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped Ryo's face with it.  
  
"Why not?" Ryo wondered, looking up with red, burning eyes. "She said she wants to know if I'm good and you said I can't lie to her."  
  
Father Brannon kissed Ryo on the lips.  
  
"..." Ryo just sat there with his hands at his sides and let himself be kissed.  
  
"She'll be angry with you if you tell her that you were bad enough to get a spanking and I don't want you to get in trouble. You've all ready been punished so everything's been taken care of. We don't need her to worry about your behavior, do we?"  
  
Ryo shook his head slowly, his eyes wide. That kiss...didn't feel right.  
  
"Good." One of Father Brannon's hands moved down to Ryo's bare hip and gave it a squeeze. "I think you've learned your lesson, Ryo. Would you like to stay here for a while?"   
  
Ryo looked down at the hand on his leg. "Granma said we're leaving when she finds a job." Ryo found himself desperately wishing that his granma would find a job today and they'd leave quickly.  
  
Father Brannon ran his hand up and down Ryo's leg and Ryo got a very nasty feeling in his stomach, like he'd eaten something that had gone bad. Father Brannon's other hand began to rub circles on Ryo's back. "I think I can give your granma a job in the church, right here. I need someone to help with cleaning up and you'd both have a nice warm place to live. I can even get you both a room of your own so you won't have to share. Just think how nice it will be for your granma to be somewhere safe and warm every night."  
  
But all Ryo could think of was how much he wanted Father Brannon to stop touching him. "Can I pull my pants up, now?"  
  
"Not yet. You're a mess from all that crying, Ryo. Why don't you take a bath? I'll be in my office. When you're done with your bath, come and see me and you can help me make some bread for dinner tonight. Won't your granma like that?"  
  
Ryo nodded dumbly and slid off Father Brannon's lap as gently as he could. He started to reach down to pull his pants up so he could walk without tripping, but Father Brannon's voice interrupted him. "Just take them off."  
  
Ryo hesitated, but remembered what Father Brannon said. If Ryo was good and did what he was told, he wouldn't get any more spankings. Ryo kicked off his shoes and pulled off his pants and underpants so he was naked from the waist down. The bathroom was right in the other room and Ryo hurried away to do what he was told.  
  
  
  
  
  
That night, at dinner, Ryo's granma still hadn't found a job. She was happy, though, to know that Ryo was in such a safe place while she was out and commented on how lovely the bread was that he'd helped to make. "Ryo?" His granma said as all three of them sat together. "Are you all right? You've been very quiet tonight."  
  
Ryo squirmed in his seat, partly because his bottom still hurt and partly because Father Brannon had warned him against telling his granma anything, least it worry her. "I'm OK, granma. I just don't feel so good."  
  
She instantly put a hand on his forehead. "You don't feel feverish. Is it your stomach that's hurting you?"  
  
Ryo nodded. Ever since his spanking, Ryo had been having terrible butterflies in his tummy. It got worse every time Father Brannon looked at him, too. "Can I go to bed, granma?"  
  
"Yes, of course, dear. Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?"  
  
"No, thank you." Ryo answered, clearing his place at the table. "I think I just want to sleep."  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day-   
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ryo. What did I tell you about lying?"  
  
Ryo looked up from where he was pulling weeds from Father Brannon's garden to find Father Brannon looking slightly angry with his arms crossed over his chest.   
  
"I didn't! I swear!" Ryo protested, his eyes growing wide. He hadn't done anything bad since yesterday when he'd gotten the spanking.  
  
"We discussed this yesterday, Ryo." Father Brannon held out his hand to Ryo. "But I think we need to talk about how evil it is to lie, again. Come with me."   
  
Ryo stared at the offered hand like he was being offered a snake. He didn't want another spanking.  
  
Father Brannon sighed. "You told your granma last night that you were sick and you weren't. That was a lie and it's bad to lie."  
  
"I didn't say I was sick." Ryo tried to defend himself. "I just said I didn't feel good. That's the truth!"  
  
"But you let her think you were sick and she was very worried about you for no reason. That wasn't just unkind, it was an evil thing to do. You don't want to be evil, do you?"  
  
Ryo shook his head and felt like crying again. "My bum still hurts." He muttered, hoping that Father Brannon would take pity on him and not give him another spanking.  
  
"You must be punished." Father Brannon held out his hand insistently and Ryo reluctantly took it. "I won't give you a spanking, Ryo, but you will have to learn not to lie."  
  
"Yes, sir."   
  
Father Brannon led Ryo into the parlor again and locked the door again. "Stand there." Father Brannon told Ryo, pointing to the couch where Ryo had gotten his spanking yesterday. While Ryo waited, Father Brannon went to his desk and dug around for a minute before finding a ruler. He came back and sat on the couch in front of Ryo before instructing, "Hold out your hands."  
  
The first whack came before Ryo could react and Ryo jerked his hands away, shocked. Father Brannon had whipped his hands with the ruler as quick as lightening.   
  
"Hold out your hands, Ryo." Ryo knew he couldn't get out of this. He'd lied again and this time, Father Brannon was right. He DID let his granma think he was sick just so he could go to bed early. Ryo held out his hands.  
  
It only took five whacks with the ruler against his knuckles to bring Ryo to tears. Five more had him sobbing almost uncontrollably. 'I tried to be good! I really tried!' His knees felt weak and just five more whacks Ryo collapsed to the floor. His hands were numb from the wrists down and they looked horribly red, Ryo didn't know how he was going to hide them from his granma.  
  
Father Brannon put his hands under Ryo's arms and pulled him again into his lap. This time, Ryo was facing Father Brannon with his chin on Father Brannon's shoulder and straddling Father Brannon's legs. "It's all right. Just let yourself cry for a minute, Ryo." Father Brannon put Ryo's arms around his neck and stroked Ryo's back. "The pain will go away."  
  
Ryo was shaking and shuddering while he cried. He didn't think that it would hurt THAT much! While Ryo sat there, trying to get a hold of himself, he felt something strange. Through his tears, Ryo looked down at Father Brannon's lap and saw that Father Brannon's pants were tented up, like there was something in there.  
  
Father Brannon hugged Ryo tighter, putting a hand on Ryo's lower back to pull him in closer and Ryo's privates nudged against that 'something' in Father Brannon's pants, where his privates were. Whatever was in there made Ryo jump when it touched him and he wanted to be away from Father Brannon right away. Ryo put both hands on Father Brannon's chest and pushed himself away, getting a good look at the man's face.  
  
Father Brannon's eyes were sort of unfocused as he looked at Ryo. "I'm doing this for your own good, Ryo. I don't want to hurt you." His voice was almost breathless. "Be a good boy and you won't be punished." He pulled Ryo in close again, one of his hands, dipping lower on Ryo's back until it was at his belt and then down onto Ryo still sore bottom. "Just be a good boy and sit still for a minute."  
  
"W-what are you doing?" Ryo asked nervously.  
  
Father Brannon's hand cupped around one of Ryo's buttocks and began massaging it. "I want to make sure you're not to badly hurt from yesterday. Just sit still." He held Ryo's tense body tightly, rubbing his hand all over Ryo's bottom and Ryo didn't like it. But his hands still hurt, too, and Ryo didn't want to be punished again if he didn't do what Father Brannon told him to do.   
  
Ryo was actually scared when Father Brannon leaned his face down and put his nose at Ryo's neck. Father Brannon breathed in deeply, smelling Ryo. "You smell like earth, Ryo. You need to take another bath later."  
  
"Yes, sir." Ryo managed to answer.   
  
Father Brannon slipped one of his hands down, inside Ryo's pants. Ryo gasped and tried to jump away, but Father Brannon was very strong and held him tightly. "I-I-I don't like that!" Ryo shouted. He knew Father Brannon wasn't trying to hurt him, but it just didn't feel good.  
  
"You must be a good boy, Ryo. Sit still, I want to feel you and make sure you're not hurt." There was something very scary about Father Brannon's voice.   
  
Ryo had never been afraid of a person before. He was afraid of thunder when he was very little and afraid of creatures with big teeth when he got bigger. Ryo was afraid of heights and he was afraid of not having anything to eat and he was even afraid of the cold. He'd never had to be afraid of a person before.   
  
Father Brannon kissed Ryo again and Ryo pulled away with a whimper. He didn't like this. He really didn't like this!  
  
"Don't be afraid of me, Ryo. I won't hurt you if you do what you're told." Father Brannon brushed a lock of hair out of Ryo's eyes tenderly. "Don't be afraid."  
  
Despite his words and the gentle touches, Ryo was afraid. He didn't want kisses or hugs from Father Brannon, but granma had told him to do whatever Father Brannon told him to do. Even if he disobeyed granma and tried to get away, Father Brannon would just punish him again for being bad. Worse, he might tell granma that Ryo was bad and she'd be disappointed in him again.  
  
'I don't know what to do!' Ryo was so confused and scared. 'Someone help me!'  
  
"You're very pretty for a little boy." Father Brannon commented, unexpectedly. He reached a hand up to touch Ryo's long eyelashes. "Very pretty." The hand that had been touching his eyelashes moved down, brushing fingertips against his cheeks and then his neck. That one hand started to undo the buttons of Ryo's shirt.  
  
"W-wh...?" Ryo reached one aching hand up to stop Father Brannon, but a warning look from the man made Ryo drop his hand down to his sides.  
  
"That's a good boy, Ryo. You're starting to learn." With one hand Father Brannon unbuttoned Ryo's shirt all the way until it was hanging open and Father Brannon pushed it off Ryo's shoulders and looked at Ryo appraisingly. "Very, very good."  
  
  
  
  
  
One hour later-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo hurried away from the church, his eyes burning with tears as he struggled to button up his shirt with fumbling fingers. 'It didn't happen!' It hurt to walk and Ryo felt dirty all over. 'I'm not hurt! It didn't even happen!'  
  
Granma found him like that when she was on her way back to the church. Beside her was Byakuen, he must have run into her on his way back into the city, and the two seemed very happy. "Look who I found, Ryo, dear." Byakuen dashed away from Ryo's granma and right up to Ryo, licking his face with a rough tongue. Granma continued talking. "Wonderful news! I managed to find a job and you can help me, too. We'll work at a flower shop for a while." She stopped when she saw that Ryo hadn't moved since she'd found him. He just stood there and stared straight ahead, not even moving when Byakuen tried to get his attention. "Ryo?"  
  
Slowly, Ryo looked at her, focusing on her worried face and then looking at Byakuen who looked confused. "Ryo?"  
  
Ryo threw himself into her arms and started crying. She hugged him tightly, caressing his back with one hand while the other patted his hair like she used to when he was younger. "What happened, my little one? Did someone hurt you?"  
  
Ryo's knees gave out and he slumped against her. Hurt? Yes, it had hurt so much.  
  
"W-w-when c-can w-w-we go?" Ryo didn't want to stay here anymore. Not a minute longer! "I-I-I w-w-want to l-l-leave!" He was spitting as he stuttered, but didn't care.  
  
"Ryo, your voice. Why are you stuttering?" Ryo's granma put a hand to his face. "Why don't you want to stay here anymore?"  
  
Ryo shuddered against her, but didn't answer. 'I tried to be good! He promised he wouldn't hurt me!' Ryo buried his face in his granma's shoulder and that, in itself, seemed to be enough of an answer for her.   
  
"Don't worry, Ryo. We'll leave now." Ryo's granma wasn't happy. Whether she was unhappy with him or something else, Ryo didn't know. He was just glad that they were leaving.   
  
Byakuen nudged Ryo to get on his back. It hurt, but with his granma's help, Ryo managed to get on Byakuen. His bum hurt lots more now that it had yesterday after the spanking. Ryo told his granma, "I w-w-want to go to s-s-s-sleep, granma." He was tired and sore. Everything hurt. Ryo had learned something very valuable, though. Trusting people was bad. Very bad. "P-p-please, l-l-let me s-s-sleep." Ryo never wanted to wake up again.  
  
Granma stood next to Byakuen and put a hand on Ryo's head. "My sweet tiger. Who hurt you?" There was steel in her voice that wasn't often heard and for a moment, Ryo wanted to tell her everything, but didn't. It was his own fault. Father Brannon had said it was Ryo's fault and he wasn't allowed to lie. If he hadn't been bad none of this would have happened.  
  
Ryo lowered himself until his face was in Byakuen's fur and he clung to Byakuen with his curling his fingers into Byakuen's fur for comfort. 'It didn't happen! I'll just stop thinking about it and it never happened. I'll go to sleep and none of this ever happened. I'll forget it.' This was all he needed anyway, just granma and Byakuen.   
  
He didn't need anyone else to be safe.  
  
  
  
  
  
End of flashback  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	9. Touma, Wait!

Seme: The dominant or 'top' partner of a homosexual couple.  
  
  
  
  
  
Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 9  
Touma, wait!  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
  
Still down in the dark basement, Seiji was almost purring from the attention that Xiu was giving him while they sat side-by-side on the stairs. Seiji wasn't sure about how long he'd been down here, maybe a couple of hours and then another hour with Xiu keeping him company, but he was actually starting to enjoy the dark. Maybe it was just because it gave him the opportunity to have Xiu's hands all over him.  
  
"I kind of like this." Xiu whispered, rubbing Seiji's arm with one hand. "Private, dark," Xiu put a hand on Seiji's leg and Seiji felt a pleasant chill run up his spine and numb his brain for just a moment. "And alone with my little Glinda." He finished with a teasing tone.  
  
Seiji went cold and pushed himself away from Xiu violently. "Don't call me that!" Seiji stood up and walked about three steps away from the stairs and Xiu, putting himself as far into the darkness as he could stand.  
  
"What?" Xiu sounded slightly hurt, but Seiji didn't apologize.   
  
'If I could see his face, I'd know what he was thinking a little better.' Seiji thought, cursing the darkness he was locked in. Seiji just hated not being able to see someone's face while they spoke, it made him feel like he couldn't hear half the conversation.  
  
"Don't call me Glinda!" Seiji was feeling very alone in the pitch-blackness with only Xiu's voice to let him know he wasn't alone. "Don't ever call me Glinda again!" How could Xiu call him THAT?!  
  
"What's the problem?"  
  
Seiji felt Xiu's hand reach out to brush his hand, but Seiji jerked his hand away and tried not to think how unsettling it was that Xiu could see better in the dark than Seiji could. It felt like he was blind! Seiji wasn't angry with Xiu, exactly. "I don't want you to call me that! Where did you hear it? Who told you to call me that?"  
  
Xiu's gentle hand obviously got tired of being nice and grabbed Seiji's wrist tightly. "What is your problem?! No one told me to call you anything, I can think up my own damned pet names for my boyfriend!" Xiu nearly shouted this and Seiji became aware that his grandfather could probably hear any yelling.   
  
"Lower your voice unless you want my grandfather to kick you out!"  
  
Xiu managed to lower his angry voice. "What got you so worked up all of a sudden?" His hand, though tight on Seiji's wrist, was gentle enough to allow Seiji to pull away. Xiu, as everyone in the school knew, was not only a world class Kento fighter, but he was also a weight lifter and could probably have broken Seiji's thin wrist if he'd tried.  
  
Seiji didn't want to answer, but he felt he had to, to be fair. "There was a picture of me in the bathroom at school." Seiji was actually thankful that it was dark so Xiu couldn't see his blush. "Under it someone wrote, 'Glinda the gay witch, ready and willing for any able-bodied Seme. Must fight Xiu the OX to the death for a hard fuck.'"  
  
Xiu was quite for a long time.   
  
"Xiu?" Seiji said, worried at his boyfriend's strange silence. "Xiu, say something." He rather expected Xiu to be yelling and throwing things by now.  
  
"You...you thought I'd give you a pet name if I knew someone was saying things like that behind your back?" Xiu sounded horrified and insulted at the same time. "Sei-chan, I would NEVER do something like that to you! I watched the Wizard of OZ last night and I thought it was cute, that's all."  
  
Seiji wrapped his arms around himself. "Xiu...do you think I'm easy?" Seiji HATED feeling vulnerable more than anything and Xiu was the only person outside his immediate family who ever saw Seiji showing his insecurities like this.  
  
"Easy?" Xiu gave a low laugh. "Are you joking? It took you three days before you'd even talk to me! Two months before you'd relax around me, and almost a year before you'd go out with me. I thought you were straight for the longest time."  
  
Seiji didn't even smile at the little joke. "Then why do they say things like that? Is it because I'm a witch, then? I've never done anything at school except wear my pentacle and none of those cretins knows what it means unless I tell them. I've gone out of my way to stay out of people's way. I don't insult people and I don't hurt anyone. Why?"  
  
Xiu's arm wrapped around Seiji and hugged him tightly. "It's because you're beautiful, smart, and strong. They can't hurt you in any other way so they're trying to hurt your reputation. It's not true and everyone who matters knows that!"  
  
Seiji sniffed, sorely tempted to cry. "I know...it's just..." 'It hurts.' But Seiji didn't want to say that out loud. It sounded terribly undignified.   
  
"I know." Xiu said, sparing Seiji the pain of having to actually say it. "So what can I call you, if not Glinda?" Xiu said in a teasing voice, to lighten the tone of the conversation. "Can I call you bunny?"  
  
"No!" If anything, that was worse that Glinda!  
  
"How about snuggles?"  
  
"Certainly not!"  
  
"Baby doll?"  
  
"Do I even have to answer that?"  
  
"Ummm...then I think I have the perfect pet name."  
  
"Dare I even ask?"  
  
"Blondie!"  
  
Seiji groaned. "That's not a nick name, that's a description. Shall I call you blackie?"  
  
"That's just silly. I prefer to be known as...dum, dum, dum dummmmmm...SEME MAN!"  
  
"You what?!"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No way! I'm NOT calling you that in public!"  
  
"You're no fun, Demon." Xiu pouted.  
  
Seiji blinked. "Demon?"  
  
"Sure. You won't let me call you something cute, so you'll have to settle with this nick name. It fits you pretty well, actually. You fight like a demon and you love like a demon. Wild and passionate, sinful and lusty." Xiu kissed Seiji softly, running his rough fingers along Seiji's jaw. "You're all Hell and damnation in one little kiss. You could send saints to Hell with smiles on their faces with one look from those gorgeous lilac eyes." Xiu pulled a happier and more compliant Seiji back to the step where they'd been sitting and let Seiji sit on his lap. "Your voice would make Satan himself weep with joy. No creature on Earth has ever been blessed with such heavenly beauty that would rival any angel."  
  
Seiji's eyes rolled back into his head while Xiu whispered his love making words into Seiji's throat where he was planting kisses and licking softly. Xiu was one of those rare people who, when they tried, could cause an orgasm by words alone. Sadly, Xiu didn't try very often.  
  
"Your hormones are running away with you again, Xiu." Seiji managed to gasp out. It was hard to talk when Xiu got into a mood and got Seiji's blood pumping.  
  
"You make it sound like a bad thing, Demon." Xiu made himself comfortable under Seiji while nuzzling against Seiji's neck.  
  
"Remember what happened last time you got carried away?" Seiji said, weaving his fingers in Xiu's hair. "Shin caught us in the home economics Room."  
  
Xiu laughed. "Yeah. I can still see the look on his face when he found out why there was noise coming from the pantry. I think we scarred him for life. We were only cuddling, for goodness sakes."  
  
Seiji wanted to make a witty comment, but for the life of him, he couldn't seem to make his mouth work. Probably because Xiu's tongue was currently exploring it. 'Well, perhaps darkness has its uses after all.' Seiji thought. 'Xiu's never this ardent in the light, he's to shy.'  
  
"When are you going to let me...you know?" Xiu asked softly.  
  
"As soon as you tell your parents about us." Seiji promised. They'd never actually had sex before, though they desperately wanted to. As far as Seiji was concerned, Xiu wasn't ready for sex if he wasn't comfortable telling his parents that he was gay. So Seiji was contend to wait until Xiu was ready.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
After a while, Ryo was allowed to get up once Dr. Date was sure that he was going to be fine. He'd worked his way through the bad memories of Father-now Bishop-Brannon, but he wasn't much happier because of it. Ryo normally tried to keep his memories from those few days locked away in the back of his mind. They always left him with a nasty taste in his mouth and a sour feeling in his stomach.   
  
He couldn't get it out of his head though that something had happened to Joji and therefore something had happened to Yoko, too. Since they were never apart it would have been difficult to hurt Joji without hurting Yoko.  
  
"Very well." Ryo's granma was saying when Ryo walked into the family room with Dr. Date leading him. She was sitting in on the couch with Mr. Date at her side. "We accept your invitation." Only then did his granma see Ryo. "Ryo, dear. We're going to be staying for the day, so I want you to make yourself useful to Dr. Date, understand?"  
  
"Y-yes, granma." Ryo answered promptly. He stood behind her so he could watch what was going on and kept looking out of the corner of his eyes at Mr. Date. It was probably because of all that...stuff with Bishop Brannon and now that he knew Shit Face was hanging around that Ryo was starting to wonder who he could trust. For a long time Ryo hadn't been able to trust anyone but his granma and Byakuen. Lately, he'd been getting better, but now Mr. Date was even looking suspicious.  
  
Oh, sure, Seiji loved and trusted his grandfather. Mr. Date SEEMED to be a good man, but one never could be really sure. Ryo had learned long ago that people would always betray you in one way or another. 'Mom died, dad just left, Father Brannon was supposed to protect me, Sister Jo left. The only people who've never betray me or left me are granma and Yaku-Chan. They're the only one's I can really trust.'  
  
"I don't like the thought of Ryo out in this storm, after all." Ryo's granma went on to say, as if Ryo had never spent a day or so wet because of the rain.  
"It's better that he stay someplace warm and dry." She reached over her shoulder to pat Ryo's hand lovingly.  
  
Still, at least granma seemed happier here and her memory seemed a bit better. She had been getting quite sick, but now she was more like her old self. She was still frail looking, but at least her mind was a bit more normal. If she was happier here, then Ryo wanted her to stay in the Date home.  
  
Ryo's thoughts weren't entirely on the conversation, though. He was thinking of Shit Face and how he was lurking around somewhere near by. He also had to find Joji and Yoko and make sure that the two of them were all right. 'I couldn't stand it if they were hurt because of me.' Ryo thought miserably. Surely, Shit Face wouldn't have hurt them just to get at Ryo.   
  
'I'll have to leave in the morning.' Ryo looked out at Seiji's beautiful garden, grey and hazy because of the rain and heavy fog, but still quite beautiful. 'With Shit Face lurking around, it's to dangerous for me to stay around Seiji. Shit Face might try to hurt him. I'll have to repay his family, too.' That thought made Ryo reach for the chain around his neck. Sister Jo had said that it was pure silver, so it would be nice enough to repay what the Date family had done for them with all this hospitality.  
  
Besides all that, there was the question as to where Byakuen had vanished to. Normally, he'd have caught up with Ryo by now and at least let Ryo know he was around if he didn't want to let anyone else know where he was. With any luck he was just waiting for them at that old gas station Ryo had found for them to live in.  
  
The next problem was what to do with Ryo's granma. As much as Ryo wanted to keep his family together, he's almost yelled at Sister Jo for suggesting he send his granma to a hospital, Ryo had to consider his granma's safety now. Before there hadn't been a sicko pimp following him around. 'If he was willing to hurt Joji and Yoko who make money for him, Shit Face would have no problems hurting my granma.' Ryo knew unless he somehow got Shit Face to leave him alone, his granma would be in danger.  
  
Ryo also wanted to find out if Touma was all right, the last time he'd seen Touma; poor Touma was beat up pretty badly.   
  
"Ryo?" Mr. Date said, interrupting Ryo's thoughts.  
  
"Yes?" Ryo turned his attention to Mr. Date, tensing slightly when he met the older man's gaze. Mr. Date was a very intimidating, powerful seeming man and Ryo had all he could do not to cringe under his gaze.  
  
Mr. Date pointed to a door on the other side of the room. "That door is locked. Please, unlock it and let Seiji out."  
  
Ryo blinked. Seiji was locked up in the basement? It must be because of what Ryo had done. "Key?"  
  
"It's on a hook just beside the door and a flashlight on the table beside the door. Go down and tell Seiji his punishment is over, will you? He's been down there long enough and I don't want the boy to suffer."  
  
Ryo nodded and went off to do what he was asked. He could still hear the adults talking when he unlocked the door and shone the flashlight down the stairwell, focusing on not one, but two people. Ryo's first thought upon seeing Seiji was, 'I don't think he's suffering all that much.'  
  
Ryo looked down on Seiji and Xiu kissing. Not just a peck on the cheek, but Xiu had Seiji on his lap while he worked his way up Seiji's neck, planting kisses on every spot of Seiji's neck that he could find. Seiji's head was lolled back and Ryo could see a content smile on Seiji's face.   
  
'Oh.' Ryo thought. 'Xiu came for a visit.' Ryo decided it was time for him to leave. He didn't mind what Seiji and Xiu had between them, but that didn't mean he wanted to watch and remember what he'd gone though.  
  
Ryo quietly closed the door, desperately thinking of what to tell Mr. Date about why Seiji wasn't coming upstairs right away.   
  
"Is something wrong, Ryo?"  
  
Ryo turned only to find Dr. Date right behind him, looking at him expectantly. "Ummm, no." 'What do I say?!' Ryo panicked. He didn't want to get Seiji or Xiu in trouble.  
  
Dr. Date looked at him suspiciously. "What are you hiding?"  
  
"N-n-nothing!" Ryo bit his lip, but knew Dr. Date didn't believe him.   
  
She frowned and wheeled herself a bit closer, snatching the flashlight from Ryo's hand. "Open the door, Ryo."  
  
Ryo hesitated. She was going to kill Seiji not to mention what she'd do to Xiu! Ryo had seen it many times before from kids who'd been kicked out of their homes and ended up on the streets. It was NEVER a good thing for parents to find out something like this by surprise.  
  
"Open it." Dr. Date's face was hard and Ryo couldn't disobey her. Ryo took a deep breath and swung the door open. Dr. Date immediately turned on the flashlight and looked down. Her face tightened.  
  
Ryo froze for the inevitable explosion upon her finding her only son kissing a boy.   
  
Instead of the reaction Ryo had been expecting, Dr. Date rolled her eyes and muttered with irritation, "Oh, lord, they're at it again!" With a sigh, Dr. Date turned to Ryo and said, "Sorry if that bother's you, Ryo, but those two seem to have unnaturally strong libido's. Hand me that soda, will you?" Dr. Date finished what was left over in the tin soda can and then watched her son and Xiu making out with an almost amused expression before rolling her eyes. "BREAK IT UP!" She hollered before hurling the empty soda can down the stairs and managing to bean Seiji in the head. "Do I need to turn the hose on you two, again?"  
  
Seiji yelled and grabbed his head where his mom had hit him with the can and Xiu jumped at the sound of her voice. He relaxed when he looked up and saw it was Dr. Date. "Hi, ma'am." Xiu gave her a cheery wave. His happiness faltered slightly when his eyes landed on Ryo and he looked uncertain about how Ryo would react.  
  
"Seiji, are you corrupting that nice boy again?" Dr. Date asked, putting a hand on her hip.  
  
"Yes, mom." Seiji let Xiu stand up before wrapping his arms around Xiu in a loving embrace, putting Xiu more at ease. "Did you want something?" Seiji looked from his mom to Ryo.  
  
"Y-your grandfather said p-p-punishment's over." Ryo told him. Damn! The stutter was coming back. Well, it was probably just because he was startled to find Seiji and Xiu like that. He was just startled, that was all.  
  
Seiji nodded and stood up before helping Xiu to his feet, too. "Thank you, Ryo."   
  
Dr. Date didn't seem at all surprised, but waited until they both came to the top of the stairs and closed the door behind them. Dr. Date looked up at the two boys. "Do I have to remind you two that before you do anything further than kissing, you'll make an appointment to see me."  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"Don't you 'mom' me, Seiji. You both will need check ups and blood tests. I don't want you taking any chances with disease."  
  
Seiji rolled his eyes. "Mom, I promise I won't get HIM pregnant."  
  
Dr. Date grabbed a bokten off the wall and whacked Seiji over the head, gently. "What was that?"  
  
"I said, 'Yes, mom.'" Seiji answered obediently.  
  
"Good. Now, Xiu, why don't you invite your family over here for dinner?" Dr. Date beamed at Xiu fondly. It was very clear that she liked him very much and not only accepted his relationship with Seiji, but approved.  
  
Xiu looked away from everyone. "Sure, but the restaurant keeps everyone pretty busy, you know. I don't know..."  
  
Seiji hugged him. "Don't worry. I'll be there when you invite them."  
  
Xiu looked back at Seiji gratefully.  
  
The tender moment lasted only until Seiji saw that his grandfather and Ryo's granma were watching the entire scene. Seiji's granma was politely pretending that she saw nothing and was sipping her tea while Seiji's grandfather looked very irritated. Seiji managed a smirk, apparently figuring that if he was going to get in trouble he was going to get in as much as possible.   
  
"Ah! And the enchanting Mrs. Sanada!" Seiji managed a very fake looking expression of surprise and stepped away from Xiu, moving closer to where Ryo's granma was sitting. "How lovely to see you again, my dear. You look absolutely ravishing, as always." Seiji took her hand and kissed it soundly on the back. For a finishing touch, Seiji gave her a bold, flirtatious wink.   
  
Ryo felt like he either wanted to laugh out loud from seeing someone flirt with his granma, or kill Seiji for doing it. He wasn't sure what he should do and was rather stunned. Seiji behaved so different when he was in his house than when he was at school.  
  
Seiji's grandfather turned bright red and looked like his head was going to explode, but Ryo's granma had a very unexpected reaction. She blushed a soft, rosy pink and smiled at Seiji fondly. "I haven't had my hand kissed in many years, young man. Your devilish tongue will get you into mischief one day."  
  
Seiji just laughed. "I get myself into mischief all the time so it's not a terrible thing. Besides, Xiu manages to keep me out of harms way, most of the time."  
  
"Seiji." Mr. Date said in a warning voice. "You were supposed to be in punishment."  
  
"Technically," Seiji said pointed out. "You never said I had to be alone. You just said I had to stay down there. Xiu just came for a visit to keep me company."  
  
"And I suppose keeping you company gave you that hickey?" His grandfather replied dryly.   
  
Ryo managed to sneak a look at Seiji's throat and saw that he did, indeed, have a large purplish bruise that looked very much like a hickey mark. 'I've never seen any family so supporting about having a gay son!' Ryo thought, amazed. Almost everyone he'd ever met who was gay had horror stories about how their family had reacted when they'd come out and here was not only Dr. Date, but also Mr. Date, an ultra conservative type who was accepting and approving.  
  
"No, grandfather. That was from yesterday." Seiji smiled, apparently at the memory. "I was helping him with his homework."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
Seiji smiled smugly. "Sex ed."  
  
Xiu blushed and looked like he might kill Seiji on the spot if Dr. Date hadn't whacked Seiji over the head with the bokten again. "We have guests, young man!"  
  
"Sorry."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin-  
At the police station-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Not you again!"   
  
Shin almost felt guilty about appearing here again when he saw the officer who walked into the interrogation room. "Good morning, Uncle Chin."  
  
Shin's Uncle Chin was a sergeant on the police force and was getting tired of seeing Shin here, apparently. He was a small man, like his sister, Shin's Okaasan. Uncle Chin had black hair, of course, tied back into a short pig tail and was carrying a stack of files in his hands. He practically dropped the files onto the table in front of Shin before grumpily sitting opposite of him.  
  
In the room was one other police officer that was armed, because Shin was such a dangerous suspect, but very little else. There was a table and two chairs, but nothing that could be used as a weapon of any kind.  
  
Sergeant Chin sighed and pulled out a blank form from out of his stack of files to fill out. "What are you doing back here, Shin? You promised your mothers you'd say out of trouble. Tell me what happened." Uncle Chin said, readying his pen to write on the file.   
  
Shin wasn't about to tell the police the truth, even if it was Uncle Chin it wasn't worth getting Touma in trouble. "Only little disagreement, sir."  
  
"You attacked some guy with a knife!" Uncle Chin read off the paper that the arresting officers had given him. "Jeezus, Shin! You're mothers are going to have conniptions! As if your rap sheet isn't long enough all ready! This one's going to land you in the joint! I can't keep you out this time. This isn't like all those little brawls you manage to get into."  
  
"Mom and Okaasan get over it." Shin answered uneasily. "It self defense."  
  
Shin's Uncle Chin shook his head, still filling out information on Shin's file. "Are you still living at home?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Have you had a birthday since your last arrest?"  
  
"No."  
  
"On any drugs or alcohol?"   
  
Shin gave him an offended look. "I'm smart enough not get involved in that!"  
  
"But not smart enough to keep out of a knife fight, huh?" Uncle Chin exploded. "A knife fight with an unarmed man in his own home! He's going to charge you with assault and probably attempted murder if he even wakes up. That poor man is in surgery right now. The doctor's are trying to save his life!"  
  
Shin's expression darkened. "Tell them not to fight to hard. That 'poor man' not worth their sweat."  
  
"Leave." Uncle Chin turned to the other officer in the room.   
  
The other police officer looked surprised. "But, sir...regulations..."  
  
"I can handle this myself. Leave. That's an order."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
After the other officer had gone, Uncle Chin looked at Shin with suspicious eyes. "It was hard enough to get my superiors to let me handle your case, since you're my nephew, don't make my job harder by lying! Tell me the truth. What are you talking about?"  
  
"Don't know what you mean, uncle."  
  
"I know that tone, boy. You're hiding something tell me what it is. Did that man do anything I should know about?"  
  
"I told you, it self defense. He kill me if I not defend myself. He attacked me when I go to his house to pick up my friend, Touma, to take him to school. Mr. Hashiba is Touma's dad, he is nuts. Touma's crazy dad attacked me." Shin crossed his arms over his chest petulantly.   
  
"So you pulled a knife on him?"  
  
"Don't be silly. I look like the sort of person who carry a knife?" Shin tried to sound innocent, but didn't do it very well.  
  
Uncle Chin gave him a dry look. "I KNOW what kind of person you are, Shin, so don't start with me."  
  
Shin grinned. "I am product of troubled home life and a bad childhood environment. It not my fault that I'm a juvenile delinquent."  
  
"Keep smiling, kid." Uncle Chin waved a finger at Shin. "This time I can't keep it quite for you. You got arrested in school, so they'll have to be told what happened and God only knows what kind of rumors are going around about you."  
  
That sobered Shin's mood. He'd had a pretty good reputation going at school as a 'nice guy' and that was going to be ruined now. Oh, well. It was all to protect Touma, after all.   
  
"Well, it looks like you're taking this a little more seriously. How about telling me the whole truth, this time." Sergeant Chin asked.  
  
Shin thought a moment. "I think I wait until my friend comes to visit me and see what he wants me to tell you." He told Uncle Chin, honestly.  
  
"The truth would be nice."  
  
"I never lied to you, Uncle."  
  
"No, but you do have a talent of telling half-truths. Lying is only going to get you into more trouble, Shin. You can't hide the truth about this forever and if you do, you're going to spend a long time in prison. Not Juvenile Detention, but Prison."  
  
Shin nodded. "Yes. But it hurt my friend if I tell truth."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
One hour later-  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin found himself in the police station's lock up when his Uncle couldn't find a way to let him out. Not that it really mattered. Shin was perfectly ready to take responsibility for this. The cell they put him in was empty, because he was juvenile they didn't want to put him in with any of the adult criminals.  
  
The jail was, despite all reports in the news about over crowding, quite empty. The place was quite with just a few sleeping drunks and a hooker or two who looked bored. It smelled like vomit, probably due to the drunks, and had an underlying scent of bleach. Like they'd tried to get rid of the smell, but the bleach just hadn't been strong enough.  
  
"Make yourself comfortable, Shin." Uncle Chin told him while he locked the barred doorway behind Shin. "It'll be a few hours, but I'm sure your mothers will come to get you before long. The bail is pretty high though so..."  
  
"Tell them not to bother." Shin said, turning away from his uncle. "It's not important."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please, Uncle. I don't want anyone to get upset because of this."  
  
Uncle Chin looked like he was going to have a fit. "This isn't some prank, Shin. Why don't you understand that?! You are going to go to prison! Don't you want to prove your innocence?"  
  
"But I'm not innocent. I did it."  
  
Uncle Shin shook his head and gave up on the conversation. "I'll come see you later, Shin. I've got to get back to work." With that he walked away and Shin was left alone. At least he thought he was.  
  
"You should tell him the truth."  
  
Shin turned to the soft voice and found a man in the adjacent cell, laying down on a cot that was next to the bars separating the two cells. The man wasn't looking at Shin, but was staring at the ceiling with his arms down at his sides. He was pretty well built with muscles that Shin knew he had no hope of ever getting. His pants were black and so tight that they left NOTHING to the imagination. The most striking thing of all was his vibrant pink hair that was spread over the mattress of the cot.  
  
"What you know about it?" Shin asked, trying not to sound to insulting. But, really, why would a perfect stranger get involved?  
  
"I know you're hiding something." The other man kept staring at the ceiling and Shin saw that his eyes were only half-open, as if he was trying to fall asleep. "It's no good. Whatever you're hiding won't stay hidden and you'll be found out."  
  
There was something about this guy that intrigued Shin and he went closer to the cell wall, to get a better look at the man. He was lovely to look at, but there was something terribly sad about him. It was like his spirit was dead and his body was waiting to catch up.  
  
"I stab a man in the stomach." Shin said almost absently as he studied the man. "I hope he die."  
  
The man didn't reply.  
  
"It his own fault. He deserved what he got and more."  
  
Slowly, the man turned to Shin and looked at him for the first time. Shin was very proud that he didn't react at all to seeing the man's one pure white eye or the blood soaked area that was just healing over where it looked like his hair had been ripped out of his scalp. Skin and hair had been ripped off, just over his left ear, though now it was scabbed over.  
  
"What makes you judge of his fate?"  
  
It seemed like such a strange thing for this dead eyed stranger to ask. "He hurt my friend. I'll protect my friend no matter what."  
  
"Even if it ends you up here." It wasn't a condescending tone, or even an accusation, just a fact. It was almost as if the man understood.   
  
"Shin!"  
  
Shin was suddenly grabbed roughly by the shoulder and spun around to find Uncle Chin scowling at him. "What is it?" Shin asked. He had been so engrossed with the pink haired stranger that he hadn't heard Uncle Chin unlock the cell door and come in.  
  
"Keep away from the bars, boy! He's dangerous."  
  
"Him?" Shin didn't see what was so dangerous about the pink haired man. He was very passive, in fact. "Why?"  
  
"He's on suicide watch." Uncle Chin replied softly. "We think he killed another prostitute last night and when we found him he'd just slit his wrists. The girl must have put up quite the fight; it looks like she ripped out half his hair in the fight." Uncle Chin pulled Shin back to the other side of the cell. "Don't go near the bars, he's dangerous and desperate. He's having a psychiatrist come this afternoon to evaluate him and see if he needs to be moved to a mental hospital."  
  
It was only then that Shin noticed the man's arms weren't just laying by his side, but they were tied to the cot so he couldn't easily move. His ankles were also tied down, but the man didn't seem at all interested in freeing himself. He just lay there.  
  
After one final warning to keep away from the pink haired man, Shin's Uncle Chin left again.  
  
"What's your name?" Shin asked the pink haired man. It was important. For some reason, it was important that he know all about this man who'd given up on life. "I'm Shin."  
  
"Yes. Sergeant Chin said so a moment ago. I'm Joji."  
  
"Did you kill that prostitute?"   
  
"Did you attack that man?"  
  
"I all ready said I did."  
  
"There is no blood on your clothes. When you stab someone in the stomach they bleed all over the place."  
  
Shin paled slightly.  
  
Joji continued in his velvet voice, very certain of what he was saying. "You are protecting someone and you are taking the blame for what that someone did."  
  
Shin frowned. He hadn't counted on anyone guessing what really happened, but his secret was safe for now. Joji wasn't a cop and there was no proof to the contrary of Shin's story. 'I wish I HAD been the one to knife Touma's dad.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma sat in the busy police station, waiting to see Shin. He was hunched over with his head in his hands, trying to decide what to do. Shin had whispered to him in class, "Just keep your mouth shut!" But that was the last thing Touma was thinking of doing.  
  
'How can I do that? They'll send Shin to prison for sure and it's all my fault!'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
His dad was in a bad mood again. They were getting more and more frequent, these bouts of strange black temper. Touma was used to these moods of his dad, though, and he lay on the floor while his dad kicked him. Touma had learned long ago that the best way to deal with the beatings was to not fight and try to think of something else. Not easy, but possible.  
  
"Touma!"  
  
Touma's head flew up at the unexpected voice and he saw, to his horror, Shin standing in the doorway of his apartment. Shin had an expression that somehow mingled fury, disbelief, and utter horror at what he saw.  
  
"Your hands off!" Shin screamed, dropping his school bag in the doorway and rushed towards them.   
  
"Shin! No!" Touma tried to warn him off, but Shin was in no mood to listen and tackled Touma's dad, bringing them both to the floor. Shin was a tough little fighter, but Touma's dad was bigger, meaner, and more experienced. Shin ended up being thrown across the room and into a wall. With a groan, he slumped the floor putting hand to the back of his head and Touma saw a tiny spot of blood that stained the wall where Shin had hit.  
  
"Little God damned turd." Touma's dad grumbled, stalking over to Shin and towering over him. "Who the Hell do you think you are? Coming into my home and interfering where you're not wanted?" He raised a fist, ready to smash it down on Shin as he did so often to Touma, but Shin wasn't about to let himself be pounded on.   
  
Shin kicked up and caught Touma's dad in the kneecap, making him grunt in pain. "Shit!" Touma's dad cursed, grabbing his injured knee. "You little..."  
  
Shin kicked Touma's dad in the groin, bringing the big man to his knees.  
  
Touma watched this all, feeling helpless as it happened. 'What do I do? What do I do?' Touma tried to stand up, but everything hurt. Shin made his way towards Touma. "You all right?"  
  
"Get out of here!" Touma told Shin desperately. "He'll kill you!"  
  
"No, I..." Shin was cut off when large hands wrapped around his throat and yanked him away from Touma. Touma's dad had Shin pinned up against a wall, several inches off the floor.  
  
"Dad! He's my friend, don't hurt him!" Touma cried, desperately.  
  
"Little punk! I'll leave your body in the alley for your whore mom to find!" Touma's dad was insane with rage and Touma was scared so badly he could barely move.  
  
Shin started to turn blue, but he kicked and swung his arms as best as he could, trying to get away. Touma's dad was stronger, though, and held Shin easily. He was so enraged that even the few hits Shin did manage to land didn't have any affect.  
  
'Oh, God! He's gonna kill Shin! He's really going to kill him!' Touma struggled to his feet and staggered to where Shin had dropped his school bag. 'No! I can't lose Shin!' Dumping Shin's bag out on the floor yielded the thing Touma knew he'd find; a long, sharp carving knife. Touma had just grabbed it when something heavy slammed into his back and knocked the wind out of him. It was only by inches that the knife didn't hit Touma in the face.  
  
Touma turned around to find that it was Shin who'd been thrown on top of him. Shin shook his head, obviously dizzy, and gasping for air. Touma's dad loomed over the both of them. His face was terrible and Touma knew that both he and Shin might die. "Dad..." Touma rolled Shin off him and tightened his grip on the knife.  
  
"Bastard. I should have drowned you when your mother had you. You're no use to me at all. I'd be much better off with you dead!" He roared and raised both fists over his head before throwing himself at Touma.  
  
'I don't want to die!' Touma screamed. 'NO!' Touma raised the knife in his hand and sunk it deeply into his dad's stomach.   
  
The world froze and Touma stared, horrified, at the crimson blood running down his arm before dripping onto Touma's shirt and then to the floor just beside them. Touma's dad blinked, disbelieving, and sucked in a painful sounding breath. Touma pulled the knife out, listening to the blade slice his dad's flesh before he stabbed his dad again, as hard as he could. Dumb struck, Touma watched, fascinated, while his dad's expression slackened and he looked down at the knife protruding out of his stomach with Touma's hand still on it.   
  
"T-Touma?" His dad gagged on his own blood. "Did I hurt you, Touma?"  
  
"Oh, God!" Touma said breathlessly. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, dad. I'm so sorry!" He barely knew that he was crying while his dad slumped to the floor, kneeling in a puddle of his own blood. 'He was sick! What have I done? I knew he was sick and didn't know what he was doing.'  
  
Shin grabbed the knife and pulled it out of Touma's dad's stomach. "Lay down." He instructed Mr. Hashiba gruffly. "Touma, call ambulance, tell them you need help, because someone stabbed, but don't tell them who you are. Give them address and hang up quickly."  
  
Shin was working furiously; he stuffed the bloody knife into his school bag and used a kitchen towel to staunch the blood flow. All the while he was talking to Touma's dad in a firm, insistent voice. "Mouri Shin. Mouri Shin. Mouri Shin stabbed you. Attacked you. Mouri Shin. Mouri Shin."  
  
Touma's mouth fell open when he realized what Shin was going to do. "No, Shin, you can't..."  
  
"Quiet!" Shin snapped, watching Touma's dad's eyes close. "If he dies, you be sent to foster home. If he lives doctors will find he's crazy and you be sent to foster home. Will be better for you, either way."  
  
"I won't let you go to jail for me. If my dad dies, they'll send you to prison forever!"  
  
Shin almost smiled, though he was clearly scared. "Not forever. I only a minor. A few years, perhaps twenty."  
  
"You make it sound like it's no big deal."  
  
Shin gave him a very serious look. "It not. You be happier away from him."  
  
"I don't want you to do this!"  
  
"Shut up." That was the last word that Shin would say on the matter. Before long they heard sirens in the distance and Shin grabbed Touma's arm. "We go now. If he can be saved, they will do it."  
  
The two boys escaped out the back with Shin pulling Touma along only moments before paramedics and police rushed in the front door. 'I killed my dad. I killed my own dad.' Touma thought as they ran. His body still ached from the beating, but he didn't think about that. He could only think that he'd left his dad to die in the apartment.  
  
"Give me your shirt." Shin hissed to Touma while they ran to school, all ready unbuttoning his own. Touma, still in shock about what he'd done, did as Shin told him and gave his bloodstained shirt to Shin. "You put mine on. It fit." Shin buttoned Touma's shirt up, buttoning his own jacket over it so the bloodstains wouldn't be seen. Once Touma had the clean, if slightly small, shirt of, Shin motioned for him to slow down. "Just stay quiet." Shin told him firmly. "I take care of you."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
End Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma looked up when a hand touched his shoulder. There was a policeman standing in front of him, looking sympathetic. "Hashiba Touma?"  
  
"Yes." Touma stood up.  
  
"You said you wanted to see that kid who tried to kill your dad, right? I don't know why you'd want to, but you can, I guess. That little punk won't be able to hurt you, he's safely locked up. Just remember to keep away from the bars, all right? After you're done talking to him, we'll need you to give a statement. Just ask the officer on duty to bring you to the examination room, I'll be waiting for you there."  
  
While he said all this, the officer led Touma down a narrow hall to the lock up and left him there. The cells were mostly empty with a few sleeping or quiet people in them and Shin, looking at one of his cell neighbors, some guy who looked half asleep with pink hair. "Shin."  
  
Shin turned quickly at Touma's voice and smiled. "You OK?"  
  
Touma felt the eyes of the pink haired man land on him, though the man stayed disturbingly silent and still.  
  
"Yeah." Touma replied darkly. "My dad's gonna die and my best friend's going to take the blame for it. I'm doing just fine."  
  
"Touma..." Shin went to the bars and put his hands on them, leaning up against them so he could get as close to Touma as possible. "Everything will be all right, if you tell them what happened." Shin said, switching to English so only Touma would be likely to understand him. The on duty police officer looked a bit confused at the language change, but didn't say anything to stop them. "Just tell them I did it and it'll work out all right. Xiu's family loves you, so they'll take you in and treat you like one of the clan. I'm not sorry it happened. I'm sorry if you feel guilty, but not that it happened. I don't want you to get hurt and that monster didn't deserve you as his son."  
  
Touma started to cry and replied in English. "I...I don't think I can do this. Even if you weren't my best friend and practically my brother, I wouldn't let you take the blame for this. I can serve my own time, Shin."  
  
Shin looked almost angry. "You have to! I have a history of petty crime, so they'll believe I did this. I don't mind doing this. I just want you to be happy."  
  
"Even if you try to hide it, the police will find out what happened and then you will both be in even more trouble. If your father lives he will tell the police what happened."  
  
Touma and Shin both turned to the pink haired man who'd spoken perfect English and suddenly Touma recognized the soft voice. "Joji!" He cried in surprise. "What are you doing in here?" Only then did he remember the man's occupation and realize Joji and Yoko must have gotten caught while they were walking the streets. "Where's Yoko?"  
  
Joji looked away again. "She's dead."  
  
Dead? "How?"  
  
Joji didn't answer, just kept staring at the ceiling. "I am blamed."  
  
'No. I can't believe that Joji would ever do anything to hurt Yoko. They were so close.' Of course, Touma had only known them for less than a day, so he might have had the wrong impression, but he really didn't think so.'  
  
"They have many ways of determining who truly committed a crime and you will not be able to hide it. It's best to get it out of the way now and then you'll have no reason to feel guilty about lying."  
  
"Yeah," Touma said softly. "I'll only feel guilty about murdering my dad."  
  
"You didn't murder him." The pink haired man said, never once moving. "You defended yourself and he's still alive. There is a difference."   
  
Touma shook his head. This was all besides the point he'd come to tell Shin. "I won't be happy knowing that you're in here because I was to much of a coward to stand up to what I'd done. I can't live like that! I don't even want to. If I don't own up to this, I'll end up killing myself, Shin." He choked on tears. "I just can't handle it." Touma took a deep breath. "I'm going to tell the truth when the police ask me. You'll be out of here very soon."  
  
Touma turned and started to walk away, steeling himself for what was to come.   
  
"Touma!" Shin cried, but Touma didn't pay any attention to him. "Touma! Wait!"  
  
Touma kept walking, determinedly.  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	10. I Did It

Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 9  
I Did It  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
"I did it."  
  
Sergeant Chin just stared at Touma for a moment, his pen frozen in midair he was so shocked that he hadn't been able to finish what he'd started writing. "What?"  
  
'Come on, don't make me say it twice! It's hard enough the first time.' Touma thought as he stepped a little closer to the sergeant's desk and forced his voice to stay as firm as possible. "I said, I did it. I'm the one who stabbed my dad. You have to let Shin out!" Touma really felt like crying, but he was a guy, damn it! He was not going to cry in the middle of the police station with people all around!  
  
Sergeant Chin set down his pen and motioned for Touma to sit down. "Are you telling me the truth, kid?" He asked after Touma had sat, feeling his legs getting shaky with nerves.  
  
Touma nodded emphatically. "Sir, I'm Hashiba Touma and Shin took the blame for me. You have to believe me. Shin came to my house and he tried to get me away from my dad and my dad..." This was going to be the hard part. It meant betraying his dad. Touma took a deep breath and finished. He HAD to do this! "My dad attacked Shin first. Shin didn't do anything wrong and my dad was going to strangle him."  
  
Sergeant Chin just stared at Touma with an unreadable expression until Touma started to get nervous and began fidgeting in his chair. Finally, Sergeant Chin said, "Why was your dad so angry, Touma?" His voice was soft and as unreadable as his face was.  
  
Touma's mouth was suddenly very dry at the question. "He...My dad was...uh..."  
  
"Would it be easier to say in private?"  
  
Touma shook his head. If he thought about it any longer, Touma knew he'd end up losing his courage to do his. "No, sir. My dad was giving me a beating. Shin just sort of walked in at the wrong time. Shin gets protective when he thinks someone's hurting me and he was just trying to help."  
  
Sergeant Chin pulled several papers from his desk and stood up. "Please, come with me, Touma. If you're telling me the truth I'll need your statement. You should have told the truth when you found out your friend was in trouble, Touma."  
  
"Yes, sir." Touma replied guiltily. "I know, sir, and I'm very sorry, but you have to see that Shin's innocent!"  
  
"So why did you keep silent?"  
  
"Shin told me not to."  
  
Sergeant Chin rolled his eyes. "Yeah. That sounds like him." He gave a kind of tired laugh and led Touma down a hallway. Before they could get very far there was a loud cry of,  
  
"Saki!"   
  
Sergeant Chin turned quickly and focused on a small, elegant lady who strode towards him with an angry expression. He smiled. "Hello, Ayane." The lady looked terribly angry and held a slightly taller woman by the hand. "You got here rather quickly."  
  
"Where's Shin?!" Ayane demanded without preamble, her eyes flickered once to Touma, but didn't stay there.  
  
Touma looked away, the feeling of guilt magnifying because he'd made Shin's mom's worry. They were always so nice to him and Touma had spent more than one night at their house when he'd had enough of his dad. Then, an arm wrapped around him. "Oh, Touma, honey. Are you all right?" It was Shin's mom, Jenny, with her thick English accent and a face that was incredibly like Shin's who'd hugged him.  
  
"Yes." Touma answered in a small voice. 'She's worried about me?'  
  
"Good. They told us all about your dad, but I can't believe Shin would do anything like that." Her face was drawn with stress and Touma could see her hands shaking slightly.   
  
"He didn't. I..."  
  
"Save it." Sergeant Chin put a hand on Touma's shoulder. "You can tell them later, but we need to get this sorted out and find out who we have to charge with the attack. Ayane, Jenny, you can ask one of the officers to let you see Shin. Touma, I'll take your confession in the interview room."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ten minutes later-  
Shin-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"He's confessing?!" Shin demanded when his mom and his okasan sat on the other side of the bars. Some kind officer had brought in a couple of folding chairs so the two women could sit comfortably. Joji had been quiet for a long time and Shin supposed that the pink haired man Touma seemed to know from somewhere had fallen asleep and that basically left Shin alone.   
  
"Did you lie to the police?" Ayane asked sharply. Her concern had vanished when she found him very safe and healthy, so now she felt safe being angry at Shin for making her worry. "Touma said something about you didn't do it and my cousin was going to take his confession when they left."  
  
Shin cursed in English. "I told that idiot to keep his mouth shut!"  
  
"You told him to lie to the police?!" Shin's mom nearly shouted, Ayane nodding in agreement. "Don't you have any idea how stupid that was?" She stood up and started pacing back and forth. "He'd have gotten in twice the trouble that he's all ready in when they found out what really happened! You're all ready gotten in trouble for lying, that's a crime, you know!" She seemed ready to burst she was so angry and Shin hung his head.  
  
"I'm sorry if I worried you, but I just can't let Touma get in trouble for this. His dad was going to kill him if I hadn't walked in! It was self defense and if Touma doesn't tell that to Uncle Chin..."  
  
Shin stopped abruptly when Touma was led in, his hands cuffed behind his back and biting his lower lip. "Hi, Shin."  
  
"Hi."  
  
No one said a word when Uncle Shin unlocked the cell door and gestured toward Shin. "You're free. Go home and don't come back, I'm tired of see you."  
  
Shin groaned. "Touma, you didn't."  
  
"I did and I'm not ashamed of it!" Touma snapped. "I can take my own punishment."  
  
Shin's Uncle Chin cleared his throat. "Let's not talk of punishment, yet. There are a few questions that still need to be answered when Hashiba san wakes up." He gave Touma a pitying look. "From what you told me, it sounds like it was just self-defense and I don't think you'll be in to much trouble. There will be a court hearing, though, so you'll want to talk to a lawyer."  
  
Touma looked at Shin's Uncle Chin hopefully. "He's gonna live?"  
  
"The doctor's think so, but it's not certain, yet. Shin, you've got a heavy fine to pay for lying to the police about a crime, but I don't think you'll serve any jail time for it. No real harm came from it since Touma stepped forward and confessed."  
  
Shin wasn't at all happy when he left the cell and Touma took his place. His mom's hugged him, relieved to have him out, but Shin just glared at Touma, angry that his friend hadn't been able to keep himself out of trouble.  
  
"Shin?" Touma leaned up sat on the cot and looked at Shin. "Will you pick up my home work for me? I don't want to fall behind."  
  
"Sure." Shin agreed. There was a moment of terrible silence and Shin was reluctant to leave Touma like this.   
  
"Saki?" Ayane spoke up suddenly.  
  
"Yes?" Officer Chin looked at her while he was locking the cell.  
  
"What's his bail?"  
  
Shin gaped at his okasan. Was she really going to...?  
  
"The same as Shin's was. He's being charged with the same crime, after all."  
  
"Very well. We'll pay it." She opened her purse and began to pull out bills. "Touma can come home with us and stay with us until we figure out what's going to happen to him."  
  
Touma looked at her, amazed.   
  
"Yes." Shin's mom added in with a smile. "We don't want him to stay here any longer than he has to."  
  
"Are you sure?" Shin's Uncle Chin asked.  
  
"Certainly." Shin's okasan nodded. "We brought enough to pay for Shin, so we may as well use it."  
  
Shin threw his arms around his okasan and his mom. "I love you." He whispered with tears in his eyes. "Thank you so much." This was the best thing his mom's could have done for him and Shin knew he should have expected it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Akane-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Akane just knew that there was something wrong, but she said nothing. The blonde boy who'd kissed her hand moved away from her, chattering to the old man about something and laughing with his young friends. One of these friends, a muscular boy with ash colored hair, said,  
  
"I've gotta run. The school probably called home and papa's going to be furious when he finds out I was loafing off here."  
  
The blonde boy sniffed disdainfully. "Your papa needs an enema."  
  
"Yeah, he is a little tense, isn't he? Gotta run." He waved cheerfully to everyone after giving the blonde a chaste kiss on the cheek. "It's been fun. Stay out of trouble for once, Sei-Chan."  
  
"What?" The blonde asked innocently. "Me? Get into trouble?"  
  
The ashen haired boy snorted and rolled his eyes. "God only knows what would happen to you if I wasn't here to take care of you."  
  
"God has absolutely nothing to do with me." The blonde replied with an easy smile. "I don't think he'd like me much."  
  
"Don't get me started, Sei-Chan. I'm outta here."  
  
Still, Akane wasn't sure what was going on. She thought that she ought to know these people and that they all looked sort of familiar, but...  
  
"Shall we sit down for lunch?" A woman in a wheelchair asked. "I'm sure everyone's hungry."  
  
So Akane let herself be led to the low table and let some young man with black hair and very handsome blue eyes help her to sit on the floor and make herself comfortable. She sat quietly while a fine dish of rice, fish, and a plate of vegetables were served and the same young man who'd helped her to sit piled food onto her plate.   
  
"Thank you." Akane said politely.   
  
"G-granma? Did you take your medicine?" The blue eyed boy asked.  
  
Akane ate while thinking on that something important she'd forgotten. 'I'm sure it was important, but it just won't come to mind.' She thought while she nibbled on the food on her plate. She concentrated hard, her attention drifting away from the table and to the lovely garden just outside. 'How did I get here in the first place? I don't know any of these people and I...I don't think this is my home.' She looked around at the strange faces again. 'I don't think this is my home.'  
  
"Granma?" The voice repeated itself.  
  
Akane took another bite of her rice and wondered where the boy's grandmother was. The poor boy sounded worried.  
  
"G-granma?" A hand rudely touched Akane's wrist and she looked over to find the blue eyed boy looking at her. "Are you all r-right?"  
  
'Granma? I'm not a grandmother!'  
  
"You have the wrong person, young man." Akane told him gently, patting his hand. "I have no grandchildren." She tried to tell him kindly that he'd made a mistake, but the blue eyed boy looked horrified at his mistake. 'The poor child, he must be so embarrassed.'  
  
The blue eyed boy swallowed hard. "Did you t-take your h-heart medicine?" He asked, pulling an orange plastic bottle out of his pant pocket.  
  
For that moment, Akane couldn't say why, but she loved the boy. She had no idea why, but the blue eyed boy was the most important person to her in the whole world and she knew she should do anything to make him happy. 'I don't take medicine, but if he wants me to I will.' So Akane swallowed the small white pill he handed her almost without thinking. She knew the boy wouldn't do anything to hurt her and it seemed like such a small thing to make him happy. 'I'm glad I could make him a little happier, even if he has mistaken me for his grandmother.'  
  
The blue eyed boy didn't look much happier, though, and he stared at the empty orange bottle for a minute before putting it back in his pocket.   
  
"What's wrong, Ryo?" The blonde boy asked.  
  
"That was the last o-one." Ryo, the blue eyed boy, said softly. "I'll have to get more."  
  
"Do you need some help?" The woman in the wheel chair asked, concerned. "I work in a hospital..."  
  
Ryo looked at Akane before shaking his head. "No. I-I can do it. Thank you."  
  
  
  
  
  
Later that night-  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
  
"Seiji."  
  
Seiji rolled over in bed, unhappy about being dragged out of a very pleasant dream, and pulled the blanket over his head. 'What a lovely dream. A peaceful waterfall, a pile of books, and Xiu covered in honey...mmmm, honey.' He muttered sleepily at the only person who would wake him up so late at night, "Go away, Xiu. I'm sleeping." This wasn't the first time Xiu had snuck in so late at night for some snuggling.  
  
"Seiji, wake up." Xiu's voice sounded strange tonight.  
  
A hand shook Seiji's arm and Seiji relented, wrapping an arm around Xiu to pull him down onto the bed without opening his eyes. "All right, all right. You can stay, but I'm NOT letting you fuck me. Just go to sleep." He pulled down his love and kissed him soundly on the lips, but...Xiu didn't taste right and Seiji finally opened his eyes, trying to see through the darkness.  
  
With the dim light of Seiji's Hello Kitty night light, Seiji saw Ryo's blue eyes looked back down at him, horrified.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Seiji screamed and jumped violently away from Ryo and completely off his bed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"  
  
"B-b-being a-a-attacked by y-your h-h-hormones!" Ryo shouted back, wiping a hand across his mouth in disgust. He spoke a little quieter, "Keep your v-voice d-down!"  
  
Seiji thought, 'Disgust? As if I, of all people, am a bad kisser! He should be damned honored to get a kiss from me!' After all, Seiji's lips had never touched anyone but Xiu before. 'Oh, dear. Xiu. If he hears about this...'  
  
Ryo moved so he was standing near Seiji's bedroom door and glaring distrustfully at Seiji. "Just w-wanted to t-tell you we're going."  
  
"You're leaving?" Seiji repeated, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up and think straight. 'Don't start thinking about the kiss, Seiji.' He told himself. 'You DO NOT want to get any ideas. We don't want Xiu to roast us over his oven, now do we?' Seiji said out loud, "Won't you even stay for breakfast? It's still late."  
  
Ryo shook his head. "C-can't stay here f-forever. Granma wants to go as soon as p-p-possible."  
  
"I'm not talking about forever. I'm just saying until the morning. What about your granma's medicine, do you have enough money for more?"  
  
Ryo hung his head a little and muttered, "I-I'll get it."  
  
Seiji knew he should do something to make Ryo stay, just a little longer. "What about your granma? She didn't seem...well...herself yesterday."  
  
"She's feeling better now." Ryo told him defensively. "S-she told me that w-we're leaving. Woke me up a few m-m-minutes ago."   
  
"But..."  
  
Ryo shook his head stubbornly. "We're g-going. Granma doesn't want to stay." Ryo looked suddenly awkward. He fidgeted with something at his neck before pulling it over his head and holding it out to Seiji. "Ummm...I wanted to t-thank you. Your f-family's been so n-nice."  
  
Seiji took the necklace and looked closer to find a silver crucifix on the chain. "Ryo..."  
  
"It's r-real silver. I have to r-repay you." Something was desperately pleading in Ryo's eyes, begging Seiji to take the gift. It was as if Ryo felt he could do nothing else other than do this.  
  
"I don't want this, Ryo. It must be important to you." Ryo seemed to have so little that Seiji knew whoever had given this to Ryo must have been special to him. "Besides, you could sell it and pay for your granma's medicine."  
  
Ryo looked angry. "I-I have to repay you! I'll get m-m-money another way."   
  
'Damn, now I've insulted him!' Seiji thought. Then, a brilliant idea struck him. "I'll tell you what, Ryo. Consider your debt repaid if you come back to school."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	11. Ryuken: Dragon Sword

Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 11  
Ryuken: The Dragon Sword  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seiji wouldn't take the necklace Sister Helen had given Ryo. "Consider your debt paid if you come back to school."  
  
"I can't." Ryo told him. "I-I've gotta get a j-job." He had to find work to take care of granma. This wasn't like before when they had the shelter to rely on for food and a roof over their heads. Now, Ryo was going to have to go back to taking care of them both.  
  
"Have you had any luck?" Seiji asked sharply. "How many jobs have you found so far?"  
  
Ryo blushed and was glad for the darkness of Seiji's bedroom so Seiji wouldn't see it. "One." The only job Ryo had found was the one working for Seiji's family.   
  
Seiji, thankfully, didn't point that out to Ryo. "Then you've got nothing to lose, Ryo. Your granma can come here to stay during the day, I know my family wouldn't mind..."  
  
"That won't be necessary, young man."   
  
The bedroom lights flashed on suddenly and both boys turned to find Ryo's granma standing in the doorway with her coat all ready on. Seiji came closer, making his way around the bed and coming closer to Ryo than he had been since Ryo had woken him up. 'I will NOT think about that! Seiji wasn't coming onto me, he just thought I was Xiu.'  
  
"Sanada-san, are you sure..."  
  
Ryo's granma, looking far more possessed than she had just a few hours ago, stepped into the bedroom, though her steps were slightly halting and she moved slowly, her eyes held the steel Ryo hadn't seen in months. She looked nice, with her hair all piled up into a neat bun on her head and her clothes had been recently washed by Dr. Date. "I'm quite sure. Ryo and I are fully able to take care of ourselves." Her voice was not as strong as Ryo remembered it, but it was more confident and sure than it had been in a long time.  
  
Ryo quickly went to his granma's side and she put an arm on his shoulder for support. Ryo was used to being used as a walking stick for his granma. "W-we have to go now?"  
  
She nodded. "Yes. We should get moving or Kanto will try to convince us to stay another day."  
  
"But, ma'am," Seiji said, concerned. "It's the middle of the night. Surely it would safer for you both to wait until daylight." Seiji cast a fast look at his alarm clock and Ryo followed his look. It was only barely four in the morning and, Seiji was right that the sun wouldn't rise for a few hours yet.  
  
"We will be fine, but thank you for your concern." She put a hand on Ryo's hair and turned towards him. "Have you repaid his family's kindness, yet?"  
  
Ryo sighed and showed her the necklace. "I tried, but he w-won't take it."  
  
"If you're both so intent on repaying kindness," Seiji spoke up quickly. "I'd like more than anything for Ryo to come back to school. Our friends miss him a lot and they're going through some hard times."  
  
That caught Ryo's attention sharply. "What happened?"  
  
Seiji turned his look back to Ryo and Ryo got the distinct impression that he'd fallen into a trap that Seiji had laid. "Shin got arrested for something that Touma did and we don't know what's going on with them. The last thing I heard was that Touma went to the police station to see Shin, but I haven't heard a word since then. They're going to need all the friends they have, now."  
  
"What is it that this Touma boy is said to have done?" Ryo's granma asked.  
  
"He stabbed his dad and his dad's in the hospital." Seiji didn't sound at all upset by this. "He hasn't woken up, from the last I heard, but he is still alive and Shin told everyone HE did it."  
  
Ryo felt awful. This was another of those times when he wanted to help, but had no idea how to do it. 'I still have to find Joji and Yoko to make sure they're all right. I have to get money for food and medicine. I have to find somewhere for Yaku-chan to hunt. I have to see if Touma and Shin are all right.' The list seemed to get longer with each passing day and Ryo was starting to feel the weight gathering on his shoulders.  
  
Deep inside Ryo's mind, a soft voice whispered, 'I can make it all better.' It was a smooth voice, seductive in the way that the words seemed to worm through Ryo's troubled mind and soothe him. 'I can help make your pain go away and give you a better life. Just give me a little freedom.'  
  
'This pain IS my life!' Ryo retorted almost bitterly. 'Without the pain, I wouldn't have a life.' Now, that was depressing, yet true, thought. He tried not to listen to the voice. 'I can handle this. I don't need you!'  
  
'Yes, you do. We are apart of each other.'   
  
The flame in Ryo's mind grew brighter, warming him nicely. 'I can make Shit Face tell you where our friends are and then I can make him dead. I can make sure Bishop Brannon never hurts another child again. I can force the police to let our friends go. I can make sure our granma is never without a home, or food, or medicine. Everything will be better for us if you will let me out, Ryo.'  
  
'They're my friends, not yours.' Ryo told the voice possessively.  
  
'We are the same. What belongs to you, belongs to me.'  
  
'No!' Ryo remembered the last time he'd lost control. It had been after the...incident with Bishop Brannon and Ryo managed to get himself surrounded by a gang of young men and women. He'd been alone and they had weapons, knives and brass knuckles, along with chains and very unfriendly expressions. Ryo had been so scared that he let the fire out, he'd listened to the sensual voice in his mind. Moments later, the alley they'd trapped Ryo in was engulfed in flames and six people were dead. 'I'm not going to do that again!'   
  
So Ryo pushed the voice and fire back down, with a bit of concentration, before focusing again on what his granma was saying to Seiji.   
  
"Ryo and I will be on our way before anyone wakes up. Please, give our regards to your family, Seiji. As for the repayment," She looked at Ryo sternly. "Your request will be granted. Ryo will be returning to school in the morning."  
  
"What?!" Ryo nearly shouted, turning on his granma. 'She can't be serious! I've got to much to do, to much to worry about. I can't leave her alone all day and Yaku-Chan has to hunt sometime so he can't always be with her. What if someone tries to hurt her?'  
  
"Did you say something?" Ryo's granma turned to Ryo and her eyes narrowed slightly.  
  
"No, ma'am." Ryo answered, remembering the fight granma had in her. There simply was no denying her what she wanted. "I-I'll go." 'But I don't have to be happy about it.' He swallowed hard and followed his granma out of Seiji's bedroom.  
  
'You make this much harder than it needs to be, Ryo.' The voice whispered. It was always with him. Always.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo was still not happy about leaving his granma at the abandoned gas station all alone, but he had little choice. Most of his life he'd been trained to obey her without question as well as to uphold his and his family's honor. Right now, his honor now depended on giving into Seiji's request.   
  
"You stay here." Ryo told Byakuen while he was getting ready to leave for school. Unfortunately, he'd all ready turned in his ill-fitting uniform and all the books he'd gotten from his last, short, stay in school. Today would mean the hassle of going back through all the aggravation again.  
  
Byakuen grumbled his irritation at the order, showing that he didn't like being told what to do by batting at Ryo with one of his massive paws. He hadn't liked staying at the shelter and he didn't like this.  
  
Ryo let the paw strike him, not even bothering to move out of the way when Byakuen pinned him to the ground. He knew Byakuen would never really hurt him. "G-granma needs you." Ryo explained, placating his friend by rubbing Byakuen's belly with a hand.   
  
Reluctantly, Byakuen let Ryo get up, but he whined again with displeasure.   
  
"I-I'll bring back meat, I p-promise." Ryo vowed, though he had a sinking feeling about where he'd be getting the meat. It would mean he'd have to go pick pocketing after school to buy some meat or go hunting for strays. Frankly, pick pocketing was easier. Then again, hunting didn't hurt his honor like stealing did.   
  
The promised meat raised Byakuen's spirits a little and he licked Ryo's face in a forgiving manner. Ryo laughed and stood up, just briefly looking to where his granma was still asleep. The gas station was basically empty, except for the things Sister Jo had given them before the Holy Shepherd had been closed down, but there was some food, carefully hidden away. Under an old tarp, behind a stack of tires, Ryo had hidden the treasures from Sister Jo. Several cans and boxes of food along with a few changes of clothes and blankets were the most important riches, but there was also the katana.  
  
Ryo looked at the dragon katana for just a minute. It was very important, his mom had given it to him and she'd been given it by granma. 'Our family has had that katana for many, many generations.' His mom had told Ryo long ago. 'There is a legend of where the katana came from and someday I'll tell you the story. We must find the twin, one-day. It's very important, the happiness and well being of our family depends on it, Ryo. You must always keep the Ryuken (Dragon Sword) safe.'  
  
Ryo shook his head, freeing himself of the memories of his mom's last days. Those words had been deranged ramblings while she was trapped in a fever dream and meant nothing. After all, Ryo's mom had never said anything about a legend or keeping the katana safe when she had been well and his granma never said anything about the Ryuken at all, except that they couldn't get rid of it. 'She probably just likes it because it reminds her of mom.' Ryo told himself, picking one of the cans of soup. 'She wants me to keep up the tradition of passing the katana down through the family.'  
  
Ryo went to Byakuen and held out the can of soup with a smile. "Please?"  
  
Byakuen gave Ryo a long-suffering look before obligingly clamping his jaws gently down on the can just enough to pop one of his teeth through the top of the can.  
  
Ryo smiled, "Thanks." With that, Ryo poured the soup from the hole in the can into a metal bowl, also given to him by Sister Jo, and tossed the can over his shoulder. The metal bowl was perfect for heating things and Ryo had discovered that this was the best way to put his strange...talent to use. He held the bowl in both hands and concentrated, the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth. 'Come on, you wanted to do something.'  
  
The silken voice came forward. 'Heating soup isn't enough. I want to do more.'  
  
'I don't care what you want. You said you're apart of me and I want my granma to eat, so you can help her eat.' Ryo forced the fire into his hands and the soup heated up to the point that it began boiling. 'That's enough.'  
  
The fire obediently retreated, but the voice lingered. 'We could do more. This is a gas station, after all. Imagine what would happen if we put just a tiny spark in the right place.'  
  
'A lot of people would be hurt, that's what.' Ryo replied as he set the bowl down on the floor near where his granma was sleeping. 'I'm not going to do that.'  
  
'I could make things easier for us.'  
  
'You all ready said that. Lots of times, you said that. I don't want to listen anymore. It's time for school.'  
  
'That's to bad, Ryo, because you can't stop listening. I've always been with you and I always will be with you. You can't get rid of me.'  
  
"Yaku-Chan, make sure granma e-eats." Ryo told his friend, setting a spoon down next to the bowl. "She should eat it a-all and it'll be c-cool enough when she w-w-wakes up."   
  
Byakuen nodded and went to lay down next to Ryo's granma, settling in by draping his tail over her and closing his eyes to get some sleep.  
  
'If you were always with me, then where were you when I needed you?' Ryo asked the voice as he started walking to school. It was an old argument Ryo had had to often with the voice of the fire. 'Where were you when I got raped?' Ryo cringed even at the thought of the word. He didn't even like the word; it made him feel sick to his stomach.   
  
The voice almost sounded apologetic and it warmed him softly, as if to soften Ryo's harsh words. 'I was here, but you weren't strong enough to use me. I had to wait until you were old enough to wield my power and your mind was strong enough not to break under the pressure.'  
  
'I'm still just a kid.'  
  
'You are so much more. If only you'd let me show you what you're capable of.'  
  
"Ryo!"  
  
Ryo looked up sharply at his name. There, only a few meters ahead of him, were Shin and Touma. Ryo hadn't realized that he'd come so far while talking to the voice, but he was now in the better area of the city, somewhat near the school. Touma had his hands stuck in his pockets and flashed Ryo a quick, sad, smile. Shin, however, was waving enthusiastically.  
  
"Seiji called this morning and said you were coming back to school." Touma said, his voice a lot more depressed than the last time Ryo had seen him. "We weren't sure you'd come." His eyes were questioning and Ryo thought that maybe he should get Touma alone to tell him what was going on so Shin wouldn't find out, but realized that Seiji knew everything and if he'd called Touma this morning, Touma probably knew everything all ready. If Touma knew, then Shin probably knew, also. If Seiji knew, then Xiu was sure to know what was going on.   
  
Ryo sighed. 'So much for keeping my home life a secret.'  
  
Shin grinned broadly. "Touma is a pessimist. I knew you would come!" He looked happy enough that he might actually hug Ryo, but Ryo kept his distance. What with the memories of Bishop Brannon, Shit Faces' little visit, being pulling into Seiji's bathtub, and Seiji's unintended kiss, Ryo had had enough physical contact to last him a lifetime. "You get new uniform now."  
  
Ryo shook his head while the three of them walked together. "No. I s-still don't have the m-money." He'd have to go back to wearing that God-awful one the school had lent him before.  
  
Touma gave him a surprised look. "Seiji didn't tell you? His mom dug out one of his uniforms and said you could have it. It should fit since it was Seiji's last year and he grew a couple of inches so his mom had to buy him a new one. It should fit you pretty well, though. Seiji always takes good care of his clothes so it'll be in good condition."  
  
A gift? Ryo's mind reflexively focused on the hated word: charity.  
  
Then, Shin said, "Seiji said it was an apology, so you not refuse."  
  
"Apology? For w-w-what?" Ryo asked, confused.  
  
Shin shrugged. "Don't know. You better not refuse until you ask Seiji, though." Shin told him in a warning tone. "You are proud, but so is Seiji. If you insult him, he will get pissy. He likes to repay for insults." Shin said this with a slight blush, as if he knew first hand what Seiji did to repay people who were rude to him.  
  
Touma snorted. "Yeah, then you'll have Xiu hunting for you. He hates it when someone upsets Seiji. Kind of like someone else I know." He gave a pointed look to Shin who didn't even acknowledge it.  
  
"Some people need protecting," Shin replied loftily as they started to walk the rest of the way to school. "But not like it when others try to help."  
  
"Some people can take care of themselves and have been doing so for a very long time." Touma sounded like he was starting to get angry and Ryo had the distinct impression that the two were fighting and trying to keep it civilized.   
  
Shin shrugged. "I take care of all. Whether they want or not." He smiled at Touma. "I always take care of you. No matter what."  
  
Touma blushed and looked very uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Ryo, aren't you wondering what we're talking about? You see," He put an arm around Ryo's shoulders so he could pretend he was whispering. Ryo paled at bit at the touch, but didn't pull away. He knew Touma wouldn't hurt him. "You see, I tried to kill my dad last night when he attacked Shin. Shin's an idiot so he tried to take the blame and I wouldn't let him. The result is that I'm out on bail and living at Shin's place so his mom's can keep an eye on me and Shin hasn't let me out of his sight since I got out."   
  
Shin stepped closer to Ryo's other side, giving him the terrible feeling of being boxed in. "Touma defended himself from his awful dad and he think he should get punished for it." Shin sniffed disdainfully. "He save my life, Touma is a hero!" Shin proclaimed with a proud smile. "But he is guilty feeling for his dad." This made him give Touma a disapproving scowl, but he didn't say anymore.  
  
Touma looked at his feet as they walked and both boys stayed on opposite sides of Ryo.  
  
'So, life gets back to normal.' Ryo thought ruefully. He stayed trapped between the two bickering friends the whole way to school. Frankly, Ryo was just glad both of his friends were out of jail and safe.   
  
At the front gates, Seiji and Xiu were waiting for them. Xiu was crouched with his back against the school's tall barred fence with Seiji leaning against it next to him. Even at a distance, Ryo could see the two talking pleasantly, watching other students pass by them, but not really paying much attention to them.  
  
Then, Seiji turned and saw Ryo. He said something to Xiu and Xiu quickly stood up, turning to Ryo with a smile. Xiu waved, "Hey!" He shouted happily. "Welcome back, you slacker!" Xiu bound forward, stopping just short of knocking Ryo over, and grinned. "Soooooo. I hear you've been taking baths with Seiji and giving him kisses." His sweet smile turned just a tiny bit menacing and Ryo hear both Shin and Touma gasp at the thought.   
  
Ryo's mouth fell open. Just what had Seiji been telling everyone?!  
  
"You know," Xiu continued softly, getting very close to Ryo's face. Ryo could almost swear his saw a hateful black aura surround Xiu. "I don't like it when people get to close to Seiji. I'm a jealous friend. Very, very jealous."  
  
Ryo gulped and for the first time he was almost afraid of Xiu. He would have backed away except that Shin suddenly put a hand on Ryo's back.   
  
"Leave him alone, Xiu!" Shin commanded, waving a finger at Xiu. "You know Seiji flirt with anything on two legs! Is not his fault if Seiji got frisky."  
  
"I resent that." Seiji said, quietly coming up behind Xiu and putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I don't flirt with anyone on two legs."  
  
Shin sniffed. "You try to kiss me on my first day here! I think you was a pervert."  
  
"And you've been trying to steal a kiss from me for years." Touma added helpfully.  
  
Ryo paled, listening to that. What if the kiss last night hadn't been an accident? What if Seiji was really as much of a flirt as Shin seemed to think and was just looking to steal a kiss? And now Seiji had made Xiu mad at him!  
  
"But," Seiji said, almost smiling, "Have you EVER seen me flirt with anyone else?"  
  
There was a general round of head shaking and Seiji looked triumphant. "There. You see? I limit my flirting to friends, so there's no need for anyone to get upset. Xiu," He turned to Xiu, who still didn't look entirely happy. "I pulled Ryo into the bathtub and you know I take baths with our friends, so it's no big deal. I stole a kiss from him, I all ready told you that. Shin, yes, I was flirting with Ryo, but you know I'd never really do anything about it. I'd never hurt my one love by going behind his back like that." He cast a glance at Xiu who blushed sweetly.  
  
Xiu slapped him upside the head. "What did I tell you about embarrassing me in public?!"  
  
"Would you rather I do it in private?"  
  
"You idiot." Xiu's tone softened and he smiled.  
  
Ryo shook his head. 'Those two have a really weird relationship.' But it was comforting to hear that Seiji was only teasing when he flirted. Strange, though, that he only do it with very close friends. With everyone else in the world, he was so cold and distant.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji-  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji lay in the cell, the same as he had for the passed few days, just staring at the ceiling. 'There's no reason for me to live anymore. Why won't they let me kill myself.'  
  
He kept having flashbacks, seeing the nightmare of Yoko with a bullet though her chest. The blood that splattered on the brick wall behind Yoko and had smeared down when she'd fallen was still shining in the moonlight when Joji had found her.   
  
Joji closed his eyes and turned his head toward the now empty cell that the two boys had been in before. So young they'd both still been in their school uniforms. First the brown haired boy, Shin, and then Touma, the boy he and Yoko had met a while ago. It wasn't very puzzling, from what Joji had overheard. Touma had tried to kill his father and Shin was trying to protect him but Touma didn't want his friend to get in trouble.  
  
'I can't cry for Touma and I know he's in so much pain.'   
  
Yoko was dead and Joji couldn't even cry for her. Joji wished he could cry for Yoko, but he hadn't been able to cry in such a long time. Even now, with the one person he loved dead, Joji couldn't cry. More than anything else, Joji wanted to be with Yoko. He wanted to free his arms and reopen the wounds on his wrists, but the police had tied him up well and Joji couldn't move more than a few inches in any direction, anyway. He'd given up trying a long while ago and now just lay still, hoping that he'd starve to death before anyone noticed him.  
  
-Joji, I'm just going to the corner shop for some smokes. I'll be right back.-  
  
-I'll go with you.-   
  
-Don't be silly. What could possibly happen? There's no one out at this time of night, anyway.-  
  
The memory was to strong to hold back and Joji felt it wash over him like the tide, unstoppable.  
  
  
  
  
  
Flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji heard the gunshot after she left their small apartment. It was like his heart were being ripping in half, Joji felt her pain and fear when Yoko died. It was so sudden, just out of the blue. Joji ran out of the apartment, yelling for Yoko at the top of his lungs until he found her.   
  
Slumped against the bloodstained brick wall of the corner with her own blood spilling down onto her lap and her hands limp at her side, Yoko stared into empty space, though her eternal smile was still on her face. "J-joji? My fallen angel?" One arm moved slightly, but Yoko seemed to weak to move it towards him so Joji took her hand. "I...didn't...expect this." Her breath was starting to come in gasps as she forced herself to keep breathing.  
  
"Rest." Joji told her. He wanted to tell her that he'd save her and that it would be all right. That would be a lie, though, and he never lied to her. She'd lost so much blood and her eyes all ready had a far-away look, as if she were seeing something Joji couldn't. "I'm with you."  
  
Yoko's hand was growing cold in his, but she held onto him tightly. "You...won't...leave?"  
  
"Never. I'll never leave you." How could he let this happen? He was supposed to protect her, make sure this never happened.  
  
Yoko smiled softly as her eyes started to look foggy. "So...faithful. I have to...go. I'll...wait...for..." She never finished. Yoko's breath stopped it's painful heaving. The blood stopped running and she stared ahead at whatever the afterlife offered. Dead.  
  
Joji sat there with her, just holding her hand for what seemed like hours. 'She's gone. She really gone. What do I do now?' Joji had no memory of his life before Yoko. There was only a mass of blackness and pain before Yoko. Only she brought any light into his life and made him want to live. 'What do I do?' Joji reached into his pocket where he kept a box cutter knife. He said he'd always be with her and he'd never been afraid to keep a promise.  
  
Joji put the blade to his wrist and quickly did it. He sliced deeply into his wrist and blood instantly rose to overflow and drip down to the sidewalk.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that. She was getting old."  
  
Joji was suddenly alert to the familiar voice behind him and turned quickly to face Shit Face who held a small gun in one hand and looked at him with disapproval.   
  
Shit Face 'tsked' at Joji. "She turned twenty seven this week, you know. The price goes down for old hookers, so she really wasn't worth much to me. You, though," He gave Joji an appraising look. "You'll be worth money to me for a long, long time. Yoko was right, you know. You really are much prettier than she was. There's no reason to take your own life. She's not worth your devotion to her."  
  
Joji launched himself at Shit Face, heedless of the gun still loosely held in the man's grip. Shit Face grabbed a chuck of Joji's pink hair, trying to use it to pull Joji off him, but Joji didn't care about the pain. His own blood was getting everywhere, but Joji wasn't going to be distracted.   
  
There was a faint ripping sound and Shit Face's hand came away from Joji's head, bringing a hunk of hair, skin, and blood with it.   
  
Shit Face managed to get away when blood leaked into Joji's one good eyes, blinding him and Joji heard him say, "Fool. You don't have to survive. I can keep my business going with or without you. You're little friend, Ryo? Remember him?"   
  
Joji froze at Ryo's name. He didn't even know that Shit Face knew Ryo.  
  
"How about the bluebird, Touma? Yeah, I was pretty sure it was you who knocked me out that night. You should have killed me. I'll bet you're thinking that right now. Those two boys will be worth money. They'll need someone to teach them the ropes. Don't you want to protect them, like you did Yoko? How can you protect them if you're dead? Live, Joji! Live and take care of my little money-makers for me." He laughed. "With you around, I know my people don't have to worry about being hurt out here."  
  
Joji's eye finally cleared enough for him to see Shit Face and he rushed the man again. 'No! Ryo can't get involved with this kind of life! Touma's to innocent! I won't let this happen!'   
  
Joji managed to get his hand around Shit Face's gun and they wrestled for it for a moment until Shit Face let it go. Joji threw the gun a few feet away and turned back to Shit Face. 'I don't want to touch the thing that killed Yoko!'  
Though he was starting to feel weak from the loss of blood; Joji was still stronger than Shit Face and overpowered him. He turned Shit Face onto his back and straddled the man's waist. Joji managed to get his hands around Shit Face's throat and he started to squeeze. 'He killed Yoko, he killed her!!' Joji's thoughts were starting to become hysterical. 'He killed her!'   
  
Just when Shit Face was starting to turn a satisfying shade of blue, hands grabbed Joji by the arms and started to pull him away from Shit Face. 'No! I'm not done, not yet!' Something hit Joji over the head hard and his vision blurred. 'Not yet.' Stars danced in front of Joji's eyes and he felt himself being pulled away from Shit Face.  
  
Distantly, Joji heard the voices, "Are you all right, sir? What happened here?"  
  
Shit Face answered, "I'm fine." He made his voice sound frightened and panicked. "I don't know what happened. I heard a gunshot and when I rounded the corner, this guy was standing over that poor woman. I...I managed to get his gun away from him, but I was just to late." For added affect, Shit Face let out a sob.  
  
Joji's vision cleared he saw blue flashing lights and lots of people around. Shit Face was talking to someone in a blue uniform. 'Police.' Someone was doing something to his wrist and Joji blinked to find one of the police officers tying a bandage around his slit wrist.   
  
"You're damned lucky you lived." The police officer told him harshly. "You're under arrest for the murder of that woman." He gestured with his head towards Yoko's body that was now being covered with a white sheet. "Do you have anything to say?"  
  
Joji turned his head to see Shit Face walking away down the sidewalk with his usual confident swagger. 'They...they let him go?' Shit Face turned and looked at Joji when none of the police were watching him. With a smirk, Shit Face pulled the chunk of Joji's hair he'd pulled of Joji during the fight out of his pocket. Shit Face held it up long enough to make sure that Joji saw his trophy before hiding it away in his pocket and walking away again.  
  
"I said, do you have anything to say?" The police officer repeated himself. "Can you hear me?"  
  
Joji didn't answer the question. They handcuffed him and put Joji in the back of one of the police cars. Joji watched Shit Face's retreated back until the man turned a corner and vanished. When he looked away, the first thing Joji saw was two men lifting Yoko's body, still covered in a white sheet, onto a stretcher and loading it into the back of a hearse. 'I'm alone, now.'  
  
  
  
  
  
End flashback-  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji pulled himself back to the present and found himself staring at the ceiling again. 'Touma was here.' Joji frowned. All the blood loss had taken its toll and he was still having trouble thinking straight. 'I should have warned him. Shit Face will be after him. He could have found Ryo. But, I don't know where Ryo is. The shelter closed and Ryo could be anywhere.'   
  
Joji's one eye narrowed as he found his only remaining reason for staying alive. 'I have to get out of here. I won't let him hurt the boys.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
So, life went on-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo kept up his job at Seiji's dojo, though Dr. Date had managed to find an excuse to increase his pay by just a bit. 'Just an extra job for me, Ryo. It's nothing big.' 'Please, I'd love to have the floor mopped, if you don't mind, dear.' 'Will you take the garbage on the way out?' Simple, easy little jobs that made it easy for Ryo to accept the little bits of extra money she gave him. They both knew she was just making busy work for Ryo, work that Seiji could have done with out effort, just so she could give him a little more money without hurting his dignity, but so long as he was working for it, Ryo didn't mind.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The weapons wall was Ryo's favorite part of the Date Dojo. He had always been hard pressed, even on his first day working for the Date family, to keep his eyes off the wall that was liberally decorated with traditional and some foreign weapons. These were not practicing weapons, but antiques Seiji's grandfather collected and displayed for the admiration of his students. It held a kind of mystique to look at the weapons, which Seiji had once assured him had all been used in battles, and know that great warriors had once held them.  
  
'Maybe one of them belonged to my family.' Ryo thought wistfully. Granma had told him that long ago the Sanada family had been famous for it's great warriors. 'We were a ninga clan, granma said. I wonder if any of these came from my family.' It was a vain thought, though. There was no way any of these could ever be traced to Ryo's family.  
  
Ryo's eyes traveled along with collected weapons, the various styles of swords, to several shurikens (throwing stars), a massive iron staff, shields, and a set of ornate helmets. It was so incredible that Ryo just wanted to stand there and admire the sight. The katanas were the most fascinating, though. Nothing like the beautiful Ryuken, still safely hidden back with granma and Byakuen, but incredible, nonetheless. Two in particular caught Ryo's attention. They were a matched set, both with black and yellow hilts that showed wear form years of use.  
  
Seiji walked in as Ryo ran his finger down the blade of one of the katanas from the matched set. "Be careful." Seiji warned him. "Those are very sharp. Grandfather doesn't like letting anything get dull so he keeps them in usable condition."  
  
Ryo nodded, not taking his eyes off the set of katanas. "Yeah." Ryo was able to speak reasonable well, now, but habit kept him from speaking very much. It had been about two weeks since he'd started back at school and life was settling back pretty much the way it had been before, except that now Ryo had started to steal again for money. It was the only way, really.  
  
Seiji walked over to Ryo and stood next to him, looking at the swords, also. "Do you use weapons? You're looking at those like you're dying to try them."  
  
"My m-mom taught me." Ryo told Seiji. He spoke slowly and carefully as Seiji had taught him. Ryo remembered his mom's patient hands showing him how to hold the Ryuken and helping him to move in the careful patterns of a kata. "It was a long time ago." Ryo had been so little and the Ryuken had seemed immense, far to heavy to hold on his own, so his mom had helped him. Ryo couldn't have been much more than eight. If Ryo remembered properly, that had been just before she got sick and died.   
  
"Do you want to try them?" Seiji easily took the katana's off the wall and held them out to Ryo. "Grandfather won't mind so long as you're careful, I'm sure."   
  
"I'm not strong enough." Ryo had given up trying to practice with the Ryuken long ago, it was just to heavy since he wasn't eating right and his muscles had been taken away by malnutrition.  
  
Seiji shrugged. "You'll never know until you try."  
  
Ryo's eyes widened with hope. These swords DID look a bit smaller than the Ryuken, maybe it would be possible. Ryo reached for the swords without thinking. "You t-think so?"  
  
"Sure. You know, Ryo, grandfather's very fond of you. I'm sure he'd even give you some lessons if you asked."  
  
Ryo didn't answer, but took the katanas. They were indeed much lighter than the Ryuken, so Ryo thought that he might actually be able handle them.   
  
Stepping away from Seiji, Ryo walked to the center of the empty dojo and just held the katanas at his side with his eyes closed.  
  
-Very good, Ryo-chan!-   
  
Ryo could hear his mom's voice, now almost forgotten and he could almost feel her warm hands take his wrists.   
  
-Just let me show you the moves.-   
  
Ryo swung the katanas to the side, like his mom had once shown him using two sticks instead of real katanas. She wanted him to be ready to use two if he had to, instead of just the one Ryuken.   
  
-Nice, now just keep your arms loose. It's just like you practiced before.-   
  
Invisible hands guided Ryo into his favorite kata, the one he hadn't done in almost three years. Jumping and twirling, spinning and kicking, he danced over the dojo floor while attacking the imaginary enemies with the katana's. With his eyes still closed Ryo remembered his mom and one morning when they'd practiced in the glade in front of the cabin. He'd always thought she was so beautiful, her long hair tied into simple braids that hung down her back and the way she was always smiling so happily. He remembered her love of life and how much energy she always had.  
  
When it was over, Ryo imagined a soft kiss on the top of his head like mom always gave him. -That was beautiful, my Ryo-Chan. My little warrior.- Then she was gone and the hands holding Ryo's wrists vanished as quickly as they'd come.  
  
Ryo felt a wave of grief that was almost as powerful as it had been the first time he'd realized his mom was never coming back to him. It hurt so badly that Ryo almost started crying.  
  
"Ryo!"  
  
Ryo looked over to find Seiji staring at him in open-mouthed shock. Ryo went over to him and handed back the swords.   
  
'I shouldn't be wasting time like this.' Ryo berated himself. 'Daydreaming won't get granma food or her heart medicine.' Come to think of that, it was medicine day and that meant Ryo had to do extra work after he left the dojo. More stealing.  
  
"That was incredible!" Seiji exclaimed, taking the katanas. "I never knew you could do that!" He was so excited, Ryo was almost afraid Seiji was going to insist that he put on another show. "Let me get grandfather, he'd love to see what you can do. I'll bet none of his students, not even the advanced ones, could manage that!" Seiji paused and looked thoughtful. "Well, except me, that it."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued...  
  
  
  
  
  
ELgoW: What's with all this sappy crap?! Where's my pain?! I DEMAND to torture someone! Where's my whip? Let me get the thumb screws!  
  
Cousin D: You had almost ten full chapters all to yourself. This one's to relieve a little of the angst. We don't want the readers to get to depressed, right? Besides, you killed Yoko.  
  
ELgoW: Lil' Demoness has been at you again, hasn't she? That one piddly little scene wasn't enough. I want the readers to break down in tears, but she won't let me be that evil. That goody-two-shoes, if I had her here right now, I'd...  
  
Lil' Demoness: You'd what?  
  
ELgoW: Err..Nothing. What are you getting all sappy for, anyway? This is MY story! Cousin D said you could have Labyrinth and I could have this one. It was all arranged and now you go sneaking behind my back and corrupting Cousin D.  
  
Lil' Demoness: It's just for every now and again, I promise. Hey, how about I let you help with my Labyrinth fic? I'll suffer and let you hurt someone if I can take away just a little pain in this story.  
  
ElgoW: Well... 


	12. Stealing and Hunting

Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 12  
Stealing and Hunting  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo blushed at Seiji's uncharacteristically enthusiastic praise, crossing his arms around his chest, almost as if he were hugging himself. 'I wasn't that good.' Ryo admitted to himself, angry and disgusted that he'd done so poorly. 'Mom was so much better than that, I should have kept up practice. I used the Ryuken better than that when I was five!'  
  
But Seiji didn't seem willing to let the idea go that had gotten into his head. "Do you know how hard it is to find a good swordsman? There aren't many people who take the art seriously anymore. This is wonderful, grandfather will..."  
  
"NO!" Ryo said firmly, casting his eyes to the floor. "I don't have t-time."  
  
"But..."  
  
"No." Ryo repeated, more softly this time. "I have things to do." Work, school, finding food, protecting granma. There were so many more important things than using a sword and Ryo didn't want to get his hopes up by indulging Seiji's wishes. 'It'll only hurt more when I have to stop. I'm not strong enough to use the Ryuken anymore and...' Ryo suddenly felt lightheaded and his vision darkened. Seiji said something, but Ryo couldn't hear him. His lips were tingling.  
  
"Ryo!" Seiji grabbed Ryo's arm and gave him a bit of a shake. "I said, are you all right? You looked kind of...spacey for a minute."  
  
Ryo blinked and Seiji came into focus, as Ryo's head stopped spinning. "Y-yeah. I-I'm okay." He tried to smile cheerfully, but from the look on Seiji's face, it didn't come out very well. "I just...um...I'm just a l-l-little hungry." It was true that Ryo hadn't eaten all day. There had been so little to eat that Ryo had been saving what little they had for his granma or Byakuen and saving very little for himself. 'Since the shelter closed it's been getting hard to find food.'  
  
"Why don't you stay for dinner?" Seiji suggested. "I do most of the cooking and I'm pretty darned good, even if I do say so myself."  
  
Ryo shook his head. "Gotta go back." 'I wish I could stay. It'd be nice to always stay here, but granma needs me.' Ryo started to clean up the cleaning supplies he'd been using and packing them away in the closet under Seiji's ever-watchful eye. 'I wonder what he's thinking. Seiji seems to know a lot more than he lets on, but I wasn't lying. I'm fine. I'm just a little hungry.' Being hungry didn't bother Ryo much anymore. It seemed that he'd spent his whole life being hungry. 'If I ignore it long enough, the pain in my stomach will go away. It always does.' Hunger pains never lasted long and if he could only ignore them until that time.  
  
"You're not fine, Ryo." Seiji said softly. "You almost fell just now. That's not normal. If it's money you need for food, I'll give you more."  
  
Ryo didn't even bother to look at Seiji. 'It doesn't matter. He knows I'll refuse. I can't take money I didn't earn. It's just not right.' But thinking this...Ryo had to ask himself, 'Then what makes stealing any better? If I can't take Seiji's money, I can't take stranger's money. But Seiji can't give me enough out of his own pocket for granma's medicine. I have to steal it.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma started the coffeepot going before sitting down to read the paper. At the Mouri kitchen table with Shin's moms on either side of him, watching him carefully, Touma opened the paper. Once the evening paper spread out in front of him, Touma stared down at it in horror, his face paling.  
  
'No.'  
  
  
  
  
MAN ATTACKED BY ABUSED SON!  
  
  
  
HASHIBA TAKASHI, AGE 38, WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL YESTERDAY FOR A STABBING WOUND GIVEN TO HIM BY HIS OWN SON, WHOM, WE ARE RELIABLY INFORMED, WAS BEING ABUSED BY HIS FATHER. OUR INFORMATION SAYS THE BOY, AGE 15, WAS BEING BEATEN WHEN A FRIEND OF HIS WALKED INTO THE FAMILY'S APARTMENT. THE ENRAGED FATHER ALLEGEDLY ATTACKED HIS SON'S FRIEND AND ATTEMPTED TO KILL HIM.   
  
HOWEVER, HASHIBA'S SON ACTED QUICKLY AND USED A KNIFE TO DEFEND HIS FRIEND. HASHIBA WAS TAKEN TO AN AREA HOSPITAL AND IS STILL UNCONSCIOUS, RESULTING FROM THE TRAUMA. BEFORE HE SLIPPED INTO A COMA, HASHIBA TOLD POLICE THAT THE BOY HE ATTACKED HAD STABBED HIM, BUT APPARENTLY THIS WAS NOT TRUE.   
  
HASHIBA'S SON'S FRIEND WANTED TO TAKE THE BLAME, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, AND LIED TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE ATTACK, CLAIMING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CRIME. HE SUPPOSEDLY IMPLANTED THE IDEA IN HASHIBA'S MIND BEFORE MAKING HASHIBA'S SON RUN FROM THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.   
  
HASHIBA'S SON IS CURRENTLY OUT OF JAIL ON BOND AND STAYING WITH A TEMPORARY FOSTER FAMILY. THIS FAMILY IS SAID TO BE THE FAMILY OF THE BOY WHO WAS ATTACKED BY HASHIBA.  
  
  
EDITORIAL-  
  
  
SOURCES ALSO INDICATE THAT THE FAMILY CONSISTS OF TWO LESBIAN WOMEN WHO ARE RAISING THEIR SON. READERS, THIS BOY ACCUSED OF COMMITTING ATTEMPTED MURDER IS UNDOUBTEDLY IN A DELICATE FRAME OF MIND, AND WE ARE WONDERING IF PUTTING HIM IN SUCH AN UNUSUAL FAMILY SETTING IS TO HIS BENEFIT. WOULD IT NOT BE BETTER TO HAVE HIM SOMEWHERE MORE TRADITIONAL?   
  
WE'RE ASKING ALL READERS TO WRITE IN WITH THEIR COMMENTS ON THIS. DO YOU FEEL THE BOY WAS JUSTIFIED IN WHAT HE DID TO SAVE HIS FRIEND? WAS HIS FRIEND WRONG TO LIE TO THE POLICE FOR HIM? SHOULD A DIFFERENT HOME BE FOUND FOR THE BOY? TWENTY REPLIES WILL BE PUBLISHED IN NEXT WEEKS NEWSPAPER.  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
  
'Damned reporters!' Touma cursed, looking down at the paper that lay in front of him on the Mouri's kitchen table. The front page was covered in not only the article, but pictures of his bruised, bloody face. 'Can't they leave me alone? They didn't have to show that fucking picture!' Touma felt the heat rising to his face. He knew they probably had the other pictures, too. Pictures of his back, his chest...practically his whole body! All the pictures the doctors had taken that time he'd gotten a broken arm and rib from his dad. 'Why'd I ever let Xiu take me to the hospital, anyway? I knew it was a mistake.'  
  
Touma swallowed hard and folded the paper. 'I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life! Everyone knows. Everyone!' Touma hadn't thought that this whole thing would end up with his face in the papers and everyone knowing. Now, he wouldn't be able to walk down the street or go to school without everyone staring at him.  
  
The worst part was that bastard who'd done the editorial. 'He didn't have to drag Shin's family into this! They've done nothing wrong!' Touma blushed, embarrassed, when Mrs. Mouri patted his shoulder from behind.  
  
"I'm sorry." Shin's okasan, Akane, said softly. "It's better that you know this way rather than find out later, though."  
  
"No, ma'am. I'm sorry." Touma said, not daring to look either woman in the face. "I'm sorry. It's my fault your family's being dragged into this. I didn't mean for all this to happen."   
  
Mrs. Mouri gave him a gentle rap on the head. "What are you thinking with that long face?" She said with a slightly disapproving tone. "You saved our son's life." Her eyes suddenly filled with tears. "Do you have any idea how much that means to us? To me? Shin...Liam is all I have left of my dear Sean. I can see my late husband in ever word Shin says and even in his eyes. My husband lives on though Shin and if my baby had died..." She choked and Akane, her wife, went quickly to her side and put her arms around her.  
  
Akane looked at Touma with a soft smile. "Shin means a lot to me, also. I love him like I would my own child. I will never have any other child than Shin. I know he has his faults like any other child, but...he is mine. We can never thank you enough for what you've done, Touma." Mrs. Mouri patted Touma's shoulder, kindly. "Shin will be home soon, if you need to talk to him. I know you'd probably rather talk with him than us, anyway."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Touma had a very strict probation. He basically wasn't allowed out of the house without someone with him. That was the law and Shin's mom and okasan upheld it rigidly. That was why Shin was out alone when his mom had forgotten to do the grocery shopping that day. Even though it was late, the sun had long since set and the moon shone overhead. Shin liked having Touma living with him, even though Touma was so sad and depressed right now.   
  
'He'll be all right.' Shin told himself. 'He did the right thing.' But there was a haunted look in Touma's eyes that made Shin doubt himself.   
  
It was on this late, quiet evening when Shin saw Ryo. Shin smiled, feeling his mood brighten just from seeing Ryo. 'Everything's been so horrible lately, I'm glad he came back to school. At least I'll know he's safe.'  
  
Shin watched Ryo walk calmly down the street, his eyes on the ground, and thought how lonely Ryo looked. 'I thought Seiji said something about Ryo living with his granma. What's he doing around here?'   
  
Shin raised his hand to wave and get Ryo's attention but paused. Ryo changed directions abruptly and started following a lady carrying a shopping bag and a very large purse. He thought it was odd how close Ryo was walking to the strange woman. Suddenly, Ryo bumped into the woman and Shin was certain he saw Ryo's thin hand dip into the woman's purse before he babbled an apology and hurried away.  
  
Shin stood in the middle of the sidewalk, absolutely shocked. His eyes were wide and he almost dropped his bag of groceries. Ryo? Stealing?  
  
Shin felt himself slip from shock to anger. Why would Ryo do that? With a determined grimace, Shin followed where he saw Ryo dash away to. He would get answers! 'I do NOT need two friends in trouble with the law! I know he's having a rough time, but he should ask for help if he needs money!'  
  
Ryo headed into a local park and Shin followed. He followed Ryo as closely as he could until Ryo quickly vanished into the darkness. 'Oh, damn.' Shin thought, shifting the weight of the grocery in his arms. 'If I didn't have these bloody bags with me, I'm sure I'd be able to chase him a little better.'  
  
Shin found himself standing near a small pond, the moon light like silver on the perfectly still surface of the water. In the distance, a dog barked.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo carefully counted out 20,000 yen from the third wallet he'd stolen that night. Stealing wasn't difficult when once got into the habit of it and Ryo had long since learned how to pick pockets without being caught.  
  
'Well, that'll take care of granma's medicine for another few weeks. Now, it's time to make good on my promise to Yaku-Chan.' Ryo, passing by a small lake in the silent park, stuffed the money into his pocket. He didn't really like doing this, but Yaku-Chan needed food. No. That wasn't exactly true. Ryo loved hunting; he just didn't like the way it sometimes made him feel...not quite human. Ryo could honestly lose himself in the hunt.  
  
And so the hunt began.  
  
Ryo stood under the moonlight for a moment and closed his eyes, trying to get himself back into the right mind frame. It had been so long since he'd had to hunt that Ryo didn't know if he'd be able to do it. Fortunately, it wasn't as hard as Ryo thought it might be.  
  
The wind rushed over Ryo's face and the sounds and smells of the park filled his senses. Very slowly, Ryo crouched down on his haunches and put the palms of his hands on the grass before lowering his face to the earth. Ryo breathed in deeply though his nose, taking in the scents even as he concentrated on listening. It was a sound, which caught Ryo's attention, just a rustle off to his left and the subtle movement of a bush.  
  
Ryo swung his head toward the sound, but otherwise didn't move. His eyes narrowed, focusing on nothing but that tiny movement. Time passed, but Ryo didn't know how long. He was prepared to wait as long as necessary to have his prey come to him. 'I'm not strong enough for a chase and certainly not strong enough for a fight.' Ryo's right hand drifted down to the ground and he picked up the biggest rock he could find without taking his eyes off that one movement where he knew food was hiding.   
  
Ryo's vision darkened, as it had at Seiji's dojo, but Ryo fought the feeling off. 'I've gotta be strong! This is no time to be hungry!' In truth, the hunger was starting to overwhelm Ryo. He didn't seem to be thinking straight and right now Ryo was more than happy to kill for food.   
  
Ryo had to blink a few times to focus on his prey again and that was the moment when he saw two singing green eyes looking back at him. 'It's big.' Ryo almost grinned when he realized the animal had to be at least three feet high. 'Must be a dog.'  
  
"Grrrrr." The hidden animal let out a warning when it realized it had been found, trying to send the hunter way.  
  
'Not gonna work.' Ryo silently answered, reading himself to spring at the animal, his weapon gripped tightly in his hand. 'I need you. Sorry.' Before the animal had a chance to attack, Ryo pounce, launching himself at the eyes that stared him. It was dog; a big, muscular mutt and it bit Ryo deeply on the shoulder when he attacked. "ARRRRR!" Ryo cried out in pain, but he didn't let it stop him.  
  
'My food. My food.' Ryo's thoughts were simple and primitive, not allowing him to acknowledge that he'd just been bitten. 'Kill! I'll kill you!' By now, Ryo had lost all reason. He was a hunter, an animal little different from the prey he was battling. 'I'll kill you and suck the marrow from your bones!' He thought about how sweet the marrow would taste and knew that Byakuen would let him have the bones. Byakuen had no desire to chew on the bones, but Ryo had always liked the taste of the marrow.   
  
They wrestled for a short while, the dog barking and growling for all it was worth while it tried to bite at Ryo's face when it managed to roll Ryo over onto his back. It scratched Ryo with its sharp claws. Ryo managed to raise his arm and bash the rock against the dog's head, sending it to the ground. It was still alive, though, and Ryo raised the rock slamming it into the dog's head until Ryo was certain the mutt was dead.  
  
Ryo crouched over the dead animal; shaking and his vision still focused on the dog in front of him. Ryo licked his lips, staring at the dog and he remembered the many times he'd gone hunting with Byakuen and, before that, mom. The thrill of the hunt was intoxicating, almost like drowning. It just swallowed one whole and left no room for thought or logic. There was only the hunt. The kill.  
  
'I'm not an animal.' Ryo reminded himself, setting down the bloodied rock. He knelt beside the dog and his nose caught the metallic scent of the blood that oozed from the dog's broken head. It was black in the moonlight, but Ryo could never forget the smell of blood. 'It's a strong animal, healthy, I think.' Ryo felt the dog's muscles and the soft coat of fur. He examined the animal until he came to the collar and license around its neck.  
  
Ryo didn't hesitated before pulling the collar off and throwing it into the bushes. He didn't want to look at it. Didn't want to think that this was someone's pet and friend. 'Like Byakuen. No, it's food, not a pet. This was no one's pet, no one loved it so no one will miss it.' But Ryo knew he was lying to himself. He lied so often, but never seemed to get better at it.  
  
Ryo picked up the carcass and threw it over his shoulder, but not before some of the blood splattered onto his face. Ryo raised his hand to wipe his face off, but when he did he saw that his hand, the one used to kill the dog, was also shining with blood.  
  
'It tasted so good.' Ryo remembered the one and only time he'd eaten the raw animal with Byakuen. How horrified he'd been and scared that his granma would find him like that. 'Still...' Ryo looked around at the empty park. 'No one would see now. I'm so hungry.' Ryo went back down to his knees and set the dog's body down again. 'Just a mouthful wouldn't hurt. I'll be careful and I won't get it on my clothes so granma would never notice.'  
  
Hunger can make a person to desperate things. Ryo had once thought he'd never eat raw meat again, he'd been so horrified when he'd done it the first time, but his stomach was empty and demanding to be filled.  
  
Ryo had never hunted without a weapon before, a knife or a bow, but he'd seen how Byakuen did this often enough. Bending down, Ryo buried his face in the dog's fur, sneezing when the fur tickled his nose. He took the skin with his teeth and bit down experimentally. At first the skin was tough, but Ryo bit as hard as he could and found that it broke easily enough. Blood seeped into his mouth, all ready growing cold, but it didn't spurt because the animal's heart wasn't beating. Ryo backed away to lick the blood off his lips before bending over again and biting in the same spot. This time, Ryo ripped the skin open, exposing the juicy innards.   
  
'I'll save the rest for Yaku-Chan, but he won't mind if I just have a bite. Just one little bite.'  
  
Ryo liked the smell of raw meat. It reminded him of long ago when he helped his mom to skin the game they caught and the long happy days of winter when Ryo would spend dressed up in the skins of the animals they'd skinned that passed summer. He thought of those long ago days when he buried his face into the dog's opened stomach. 'Mom. I miss you so much.' Ryo took a mouthful of muscle and tore it out. Ryo sat down and held the raw meat in his hands while he chewed it. 'So good...'  
  
"RYO!!"  
  
Ryo whirled around, horrified. 'No. Shin.'  
  
Yep. There was Shin standing only a few yards away and looking like he was going to throw up. His mouth was open in shock and Shin dropped a bag of groceries that he'd been holding.   
  
"What are you doing, Ryo?" Shin's voice was breathy, as if he simply couldn't believe what he was seeing. "What...?"  
  
'I've got blood all over my face. What's he gonna think?' Ryo stood up shakily, but there was the voice in his head muttering, growing stronger and stronger.  
  
'This is a good time to escape.' The voice told Ryo. 'He won't understand what you've done, yet. He'll understand later.' Strangely, the fire never grew stronger or warmer like it always had when Ryo felt threatened, angry, or scared. 'We can't hurt him.' The voice told Ryo. 'We can't ever hurt him. We have to protect him!'  
  
For one of the very few times, Ryo took the voice's advice. He picked up the dog and ran as fast as he could, desperate to get as far away from Shin's disgusted expression.  
  
'I'm not an animal! I'm just hungry!'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why, Ryo?" Shin couldn't understand as he watched Ryo disappear again. "Why did you do that?" Shin didn't bother chasing after Ryo again. It was to late to catch him, anyway.   
  
Shin had found Ryo at the end of his fight with the dog, when Ryo had the poor creature on the ground and was battering its head with a large stone. He'd almost spoken then, but there was something about the way Ryo looked, crouched on all fours and panting heavily under the moon light, his lips drawn back to show off his startling white teeth and his eyes narrowed when he stared at the dog as if obsessed. Ryo was hurt, but didn't seem to care. Shin could see the blood dripping down Ryo's shoulder and onto his back, seeping though Ryo's thin shirt. There was something dangerous about Ryo in that moment.  
  
With a scowl at the night that had swallowed up Ryo, Shin turned to find his way home. 'This isn't like Ryo at all!' Then again, what did he know about his friend, anyway? Ryo rarely spoke about himself or his family. He was willing to listen to anything and liked them all well enough, but when it came to himself, Ryo tended to steer the conversation to other things. Shin only knew what he knew about Ryo from little things that he'd heard Touma or Seiji say when they weren't paying attention.   
  
'But I never thought I'd catch him stealing or eating raw animals!' Shin felt his stomach churn crazily when he thought of seeing Ryo hunched over the dog, eating like he was an animal himself. 'God! That poor animal! What the Hell is happening to my friend?'  
  
Shin sighed. 'It's like pulling teeth just to find out anything around here! I think Touma said something about taking Ryo to Xiu's house tomorrow to study.' He smiled slyly. 'Well, if Ryo won't talk to me, he'll talk to Touma. I'll just have Touma wheedle some information out of Ryo.'  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day-  
Touma-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
'I'll kill Shin for this, I swear.'  
  
Touma tried very hard not to glare while the four of them: Shin, Xiu, Ryo, and Touma, walked down the street to Xiu's home. Shin was being strangely silent as he walked a few steps behind the rest of them, but Xiu was making up for Shin by talking almost nonstop.   
  
'Please,' Shin had asked last night when he'd gotten home from the grocery shopping. 'Ask where he was last night.' Touma remembered Shin's pleading face. 'I worried, he ran away from me. You said you know about his past so he be more likely to talk to you.'  
  
"Touma?" Ryo said. "Are you a-all right?"  
  
"Huh?" Touma looked up, taken by surprise at Ryo noticing that he wasn't concentrating. Touma was anything but stupid and he could feel the tension in the air. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Court is in a couple of days and it's starting to get under my skin." Something had happened last night, obviously and whatever it had been was making Ryo act like a dog about to be whipped. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on his feet while they walked and he seemed to be forcing himself not to look back at Shin. Ryo also seemed to be walking stiffly, holding his arm close to his side, as if it hurt.  
  
"Well," Shin told Touma brightly. "Do not worry. Will all work out." He stopped just as they got close to the Phoenix Rising and hit the side of his head with his hand. "I forget! Have to do cooking tonight. I see you later." He waved and Touma watched him run off.  
  
'You coward.' Touma thought, halfway bitter. He'd known all along that Shin planned to leave this little mission to Touma, but it still felt like he was being abandoned. 'I don't know what happened last night, but it must be bad if Shin thinks he's going to upset Ryo by staying.'  
  
Ryo looked confused. "But, isn't he s-s-supposed to s-stay with you?"  
  
"Shin trusts you to keep me out of trouble." Touma replied easily. Shin trusted entirely to easily and Touma had the distinct feeling that Ryo could get into as much trouble as Touma could.  
  
Touma was going to tutor Ryo at Xiu's home, to help Ryo with his reading. Xiu was not rich by any means, but his home felt rich. The Faun family lived over the family restaurant and his mom could usually be found in the restaurant cooking and filling the house above with wonderful smells. There was just the feeling of love when you entered the Faun home and Touma loved this place. Touma spent as much time here as he did at Shin's home. The Faun family didn't mind in the slightest. They all seemed to have adopted him long ago.   
  
Touma remembered when he was eleven he had fallen at school and the nurse couldn't get a hold of his father. Big surprise.   
  
Xiu had called his mama and Mama Faun practically ran to the school and took him to the doctors where they found out he had a broken arm. It was Mama Faun who paid for the treatment and painkillers. When she and Xiu walked Touma back to his apartment, she saw Touma's dad was passed out drunk on the floor. Needless to say, Touma stayed Xiu's home until his arm was healed because Xiu's mom was worried about what would happen to him if he weren't able to take care of himself. The only reason Touma went home was that after several weeks, was that his dad had apparently noticed he was missing and was looking around for him.  
  
When Touma was thirteen, Papa Faun took both him and Xiu to the father/son picnic in the park. It was the first time in his life that Touma had ever had a man to look up to, someone strong and smart who loved his children with all of his heart. Touma loved the Fauns and would do anything for them. He had practically been adopted into the family. As it was, all of Xiu's little brothers and sisters called him big brother. He'd even helped Xiu to baby-sit brothers and sisters occasionally. All six of them.   
  
Ryo all ready knew about Touma's dad, it wasn't a secret anymore, obviously. The newspaper article from last night proved that. But Ryo seemed to understand and didn't press for answers to any question he might have. In fact, he hadn't even mentioned it, yet.  
  
Touma and Xiu both assured Ryo that Xiu's mom wouldn't mind having a guest. "In fact," Xiu said smiling. "She'll probably invite you to dinner and then to stay the night. Mama loves visitors. She'll wash your clothes for you and tell you to take a long, hot both. My mama babies everyone and treats anyone as if they were her children."  
  
Ryo was doubtful, but Xiu and Touma proved to be right when Mama Faun greeted him with a hug in her family kitchen. "Welcome! You must be Ryo, Xiu talks about you almost as much as he talks about Seiji." She laughed and Ryo liked how red her cheeks were, as if she was used to laughing. "Touma-Chan!" She turned to Touma and Touma swallowed hard.   
  
'She's still smiling at me. She must have heard, but she still likes me.' He'd been very worried about that.   
  
Mama Faun opened her arms. "Well? Where's my hug?"  
  
Touma threw himself into her arms and let himself be smothered in her embrace. It felt so good to have people who liked him enough that they believed in him.   
  
"Come on, man." Xiu grabbed Touma's arm and pulled him away from Mama Fuan. "Jeeze, my papa's gonna get jealous if you keep hugging mama like that, Touma!" Xiu laughed at Touma's blush before turning to his mama. "We're going to study, mama." Xiu told the large woman with a kiss on the cheek. "Can we have a snack?"  
  
Mama Faun patted her son on the head. "Such a good boy, but I'm glad you're studying with friends. Good thing he has you to help him, Touma, dear, or he'd never get any studying done." She looked at Xiu sternly. "Study first and then snack."  
  
"Awwww."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	13. Forgiveness

Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 13  
Forgiveness  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
"Well," Xiu said, dramatically. "This is my room." He swung open the door and Ryo was surprised at what he saw. He'd though, from the short time he'd known Xiu, that Xiu's room would be messy, a real pigsty. Instead, it was small and well organized, if not a bit spartan. There was one large window set between two narrow beds that let sunlight fill the room. "I share with my little brother, Chung, but he shouldn't bother us. Usually, he spends the afternoons washing dishes for mama." Xiu sat himself down on one of the beds and motioned for Ryo and Touma to make themselves comfortable. "Sit wherever you like, Chung won't care, just don't mess up his toys and he'll be happy."  
  
Xiu had to, he told them, keep everything clean and tidy or his mama would have a fit. It was hard enough having such a big family without worrying about messy kids. So Xiu had learned to keep himself and his little brothers and sisters neat and organized.  
  
Touma wasted no time in getting them started and began pulling books out of his bags. "Where do you guys want to start?"  
  
"Biology, please!" Xiu said. "I've got a test in two days and I'm gonna flunk without you." Xiu paused, looking at Touma's face sharply. "You know," He said slowly. "I've been meaning to ask. Why don't you go to Seiji and ask him for some help with your face?"  
  
Touma's hand flew up to his face, almost but not quite touching the injuries his father had put there. "I tried." Touma said, a bit bitterly. "Seiji said he thought the injuries should stay there until court so the judge can see what happened. He thinks it would look bad if I went in all healed up." Looking away, out the window, Touma said more softly, "I just wish none of this ever happened."  
  
"I'm afraid I can't agree with you." Xiu told him, moving to sit next to Touma so he could put his arm around Touma's shoulders. Touma stared at him with an almost betrayed look on his face. "Don't look at me like that, you know what I mean. This all had to come out sooner or later and you've made it pretty clear to everyone that you'd never turn your dad over to the cops. I'm sorry you had to be the one to hurt him, but I'm glad it's finally coming out."  
  
Ryo knew that Touma was being abused at his home ever since the night when Touma had come to the shelter, but it was strange when Ryo had gone back to school and found out Touma was accused of trying to kill his dad. Everyone had been talking about it and Ryo found that since he was a friend of Touma's everyone at school kept coming to him for answers.   
  
"Seiji did give me something for the pain." Touma continued, pulling out a jar of some kind of white paste. "It works, too. I'm not sure what it is, but Seiji said he made it himself and it works pretty good." It was a canning jar, like the kind you see homemade pickles in, with a screw-on lid. On the side of the jar was a label with the simple words, written in blue ink, WASH YOUR FACE. "I think," Touma said dryly, seeing Ryo stare at the jar, "That Seiji thought I'd try to eat it. Ugg! As if that's going to happen! It smells like cinnamon, but I think he used pig fat or something."  
  
"He didn't tell you?" Xiu asked, looking puzzled.   
  
"No. He said, 'If I tell you, you won't use it. Just do what you're told, Touma. Honestly, sometimes you're so stubborn. I don't know why I bother to help you!'" Touma said with a decent impersonation of Seiji.  
  
Xiu laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like my Sei-Chan."  
  
"Seiji also told me I'm to stop by his house sometime soon for my bath appointment."   
  
Xiu explained to Ryo, "Seiji believes very much in the healing power of baths, so if one of his friends gets sick or hurt, he turns into Florence Nightingale and gets all motherly. He'll drag you, if necessary, to his house for bath time and he really believes it helps to heal." He shook his head. "It's almost worse than an over protective Shin. Almost." Xiu blushed slightly. "I heard when Seiji pulled you into the bathtub the other day, I'm sorry I got so pissed, Ryo. I KNOW Seiji takes baths with people he likes and I KNOW it's no different than using the public baths...but...I just don't like sharing him. He's so wonderful, I get jealous whenever other people look at him. I just know someday someone's going to come along and steal him from me."  
  
"I wouldn't do t-that." Ryo assured Xiu. He honestly had no desire to be in any relationship with anyone, let alone someone else's boyfriend. 'But I guess it does kind of explain why Seiji wanted me in the bathtub with him.' Ryo thought. 'If he thought he was helping me, somehow. I wish he wasn't so forward though and had asked me first.'   
  
"All right!" Touma said briskly, slipping the jar back into his bag. "Enough of this. We came here to study and that's what we're going to do!" When Xiu groaned, Touma snapped, "If I have to fail these tests, I'm going to make damned sure you two pass with flying colors! I can get some teaching practice, too."  
  
"Teaching?" Ryo asked, pulling out his biology book.  
  
Xiu answered for Touma who now looked away, embarrassed. "Didn't he tell you? Touma wants to be a teacher someday."  
  
"Maybe." Touma added softly. "If everything works out."  
  
"It will." Xiu reassured him. "You'll be a great teacher, Touma!"  
  
"They'll never let me be a teacher if I go to jail for trying to kill my dad."  
  
"Your dad isn't dead, so the charges will only be assault. You told me that yourself. Besides, we're all going to tell what your dad was doing to you so you'll be let off the hook. It was self defense."  
  
Touma shook his head. "Let's drop the subject and get onto studying. All right?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They studied for quite a while; Ryo struggling just to read the book while Xiu floundered with the ideas of single celled creatures and their reproduction. It was actually pretty fun, though Ryo's mind did keep wandering back to Shin. 'Shin mustn't have said anything to anyone or they wouldn't want me here.' But Ryo couldn't figure out why Shin would keep his mouth shut. He'd seen Ryo eating a raw dog, after all, and even Ryo had to admit that it had been pretty gruesome. 'I wish I'd eaten more, though.' Ryo thought. He'd only eaten a mouth full and it didn't give him what he needed. Byakuen was feeling a bit better with the meat, but Ryo hadn't eaten since then. Thankfully, there had been no hunger pangs, but Ryo wasn't sure why.  
  
So there they sat, talking and working while the great smells wafted up from the restaurant downstairs. 'I promised granma I'd be home early.' Ryo thought, looking out the window to the growing darkness. The wind was picking up, also, bashing branches from the small tree outside against the window. Ryo had promised his granma that he would study hard and make something of himself, but he didn't want her to be alone tonight. She had developed a cough the other day, but still refused to see a doctor, not even one at the charity clinic. It didn't cost much and, Ryo knew, he could steal the money easily enough. Not that she knew he was stealing.  
  
Ryo's mind wasn't entirely on his granma, though. He was still thinking of the other night when Shin had seen him and worried about what Shin was going to do. All day at school Ryo had carefully avoided Shin, for fear of what Shin would say to him. Shin had been a good friend and it was Shin who had introduced Ryo to everyone. 'Maybe I should have stayed and explained to Shin that I needed the food.' But Shin might not understand and Ryo was also worried that Shin had seen him stealing. 'I don't know how long he was watching me or following me. What if he tells granma what I did?' Ryo nearly worked himself into a panic with these thoughts.  
  
Touma, though, had asked a few awkward questions about last night. 'I don't know if Shin told him anything or if he's just curious.' Ryo had had to lie to Touma several times about where he was and what he was doing, but he couldn't bear to let anyone know what he'd done. 'But maybe I'll be lucky and Touma's just making conversation.'  
  
Ryo groaned. 'I have to think of something. Maybe if I had something important I could give Shin, he won't tell.' But he had nothing important or of any value. The only consolation Ryo had was that Shin hadn't seen his other secret. Ryo had been so startled when Shin had snuck up on him; he'd almost let the fire loose. 'I don't understand why the fire didn't try to get me to attack Shin.' Ryo frowned at that. The fire's voice always wanted Ryo to do something terrible, but it told him to run away from Shin.  
  
It was lucky for Shin that the fire didn't want to hurt him. There had been several unsettling incidents in the past where Ryo hadn't been able to control the fire. It sometimes got away from him when Ryo wasn't able to control himself or his temper. People had been hurt and things destroyed when Ryo couldn't control himself, which was to often for comfort.  
  
Ryo was only at Xiu's home for two hours before he stood up. "I have to go. Granma is waiting." His speech was still halting, but now, he barely stuttered at all.  
  
Xiu and Touma didn't try to argue with him as he gathered his things together and Touma told Ryo that Xiu was going to walk him home. "I'm not supposed to be out without an escort." Touma rolled his eyes. "Like I'm any better off with Xiu with me. Still, I guess the whole purpose is to have a witness around in case I go off the deep end and do something stupid."   
  
"Don't get so touchy." Xiu warned Touma. "Just think of it as walking with a friend. There's nothing so terrible with that." Xiu changed the subject quickly while he led them downstairs into the kitchen. "Now, Ryo," Xiu said brightly while they walked into the kitchen. "My mama's making her famous chicken and rice and she just closed the restaurant for dinner for the family. Think your granma would want some?"  
  
Ryo, startled at the offer, smiled. If he didn't ask then it wasn't begging. Ryo turned and started to say yes, when the world spun violently. Ryo felt like he was away from his body and he couldn't hear what his friends just said. His lips felt all tingly and his legs felt numb. Ryo suddenly felt sick to his stomach and everything collapsed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Someone was looking down at him, but the face was blurry and Ryo blinked, trying to get it into focus. Ryo couldn't feel his body at all, but he knew he was laying on his back and someone was trying to talk to him. The voice, or voices, were to soft and sort of echoed, distorting them enough that Ryo couldn't hear them. A couple more heads came into view, one with shocking blue hair and the other with large brown eyes. 'I'm at Xiu's house. Why am I on the floor? What happened?'  
  
"Are you all right?" Ryo recognized the voice as mama Faun and he was suddenly able to feel her patting his cheek to wake him up. "Ryo, dear, are you all right? Talk to me."  
  
Ryo opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His eyes started to focus and now he knew it was Touma and Xiu, who were also looking down at him, concerned.  
  
"I...I'm fine." Ryo tried to prop himself up and grew dizzy almost at once, and had to lay down again. Ryo didn't hurt so much as he just felt sick right now. Ryo forced a smile for mama Faun. "Just t-t-tired."  
  
"Yes, of course your fine." Mama Faun said sarcastically as she examined him closely. "All healthy boys collapse for no apparent reason. I think I'll just take a ride to the hospital with you and..."  
  
"No." Ryo said, pushing himself up. This time he managed to stay sitting, but he really didn't want to try standing up any time soon. "I'm okay. R-really."  
  
Touma put a hand on Ryo's shoulder. "Ryo...um...you're pale as a ghost and twice as thin. Not to mention that you're shaking like a leaf." He awkwardly looked at Xiu. "We can tell you haven't eaten for a while. All of us have noticed. I really think you should see a doctor. If you don't want to go to the hospital, Seiji's mom is a doctor. She'll help you."  
  
Ryo shook his head; he didn't need to worry more people about his problems. "I have to go home." He couldn't pay for a doctor anyway and he certainly wasn't going to ask Seiji's mom to work for free. It was nothing, it just meant he had to get some more food somehow.  
  
"Well, will you at least stay for dinner? Touma always sleeps over, but he can't tonight, you're more than welcome to stay with us." Mama Faun seemed reluctant to let him go anywhere out of her sight, probably just worried he might keel over somewhere in the streets. She was probably right to be worried.  
  
Ryo was almost drooling at the scent of Mama Faun's cooking, but looked away guiltily. "I should g-go. My granma..."  
  
Mama Faun waved away his protest with a swipe of her large hand. "Nonsense! I'm sure she wouldn't mind you being a half an hour late." Her smile and the smell of fresh bread won over Ryo. "You don't have to stay long, but please eat something."  
  
'I'll just take some back for granma.' Ryo promised himself, letting Xiu and Touma help him to his feet.   
  
"Ryo, man, are you sure you're OK?" Xiu sounded even more worried than his mama had. "You just fainted out of the blue and you look like shit. You're damned lucky you made it down the stairs before you fell."   
  
Ryo nodded, trying to reassure him, but only when Ryo was on his feet did he notice that all Xiu's little brothers and sisters were there and watching him with big, scared eyes. "That's enough, you lot!" Mama Faun said to her brood. "Get to the table, there's no need for everyone to be staring at the poor boy!"  
  
Touma and Xiu helped Ryo to the dinner table, actually three tables pushed together in the now closed restaurant, and he was given the firm order by mama Faun to, "Stay put and don't move." Xiu and Touma ran back and forth to the kitchen, bringing plates and glasses, large bowls of food and other necessary things. It was while Xiu was doing this that Xiu's dad came in.   
  
Xiu's dad was a big, strapping man, very round like mama Faun, but taller. He had a long, narrow mustache and short hair, cut close to his scalp. The man wore a business suit and apparently had just come from talking to the bank about a loan for the restaurant. "Hello, Touma." The big man said, slapping Touma on the back when Touma passed him with a large tray of bread. "It's been a long while since we've seen you around here. I read all about that terrible business with your father. I just want you to know you have the backing of our family, Touma. We're behind you all the way."   
  
"Thank you, papa Faun." Touma replied with a smile. "I'll remember that."   
  
On the whole, Ryo liked Xiu's dad. He was a very happy person and after he'd spoken to Touma, all his children came barreling towards him for hugs and kisses. "My little dumplings!" Papa Faun exclaimed joyfully. He was obviously a family man and his children adored him, which showed Ryo how great of a man he must be. When he was done with his round of hugs and kisses, giving even Xiu a brief hug, and his wife a long kiss, papa Faun noticed Ryo sitting silently at the dinner table. "Well, you look new." He smiled kindly and made his way to Ryo's side until he was looking down at Ryo. "I don't seem to remember you about, young man."  
  
"Papa," Xiu said, coming forward while mama Faun was getting all the children settled around the tables. "This is Sanada Ryo, he's a friend from school. He's not feeling so well, so he's going to eat dinner with us."  
  
Papa Faun nodded and gave Ryo a pat on the shoulder. "Probably a good idea. You do look a bit pale."  
  
"He fell down, papa!" One of Xiu's little sisters practically yelled and Ryo felt his face burn with embarrassment as the rest of Xiu's family started shouting about Ryo's fainting spell.  
  
"Now, that's enough chatter." Mama Faun smiled at Ryo benignly. "I'm sure we'd all much rather eat."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo hadn't eaten so well in a long, long time. Everything was cooked to perfection and there was so much that Ryo was encouraged to take more, even after his second helping. Mama Faun didn't let anyone leave her table after only one helping and she served a heavy plate. Rounded over with rice, chicken, vegetables, and more. A large glass of cold milk and even a slice of chocolate cake for desert. It was Ryo's first taste of chocolate in years. Ryo was feeling quite stuffed and pleasantly drowsy when the conversation took a turn for the worse.  
  
"They've got one of those damned fags working at the bank, now." Papa Faun said casually.  
  
Ryo saw Xiu stiffen for just a moment while he was eating, but Xiu quickly went on eating as if he hadn't heard anything. Touma was focused on his food, too, and didn't look up at papa Faun who went on talking to mama Faun.  
  
"I just don't see how they can justify doing it, really. I understand the need for equality and all that, but do those sort of people need to act like that in public?" Papa Faun asked with a slight frown while he ate. "I mean, really! That man had two earrings and he was so effeminate that all you had to do was put a dress on him and you'd think he was a woman!"  
  
Mama Faun shook her head. "It's shameful, that's what it is. And no one complains, I suppose?"  
  
"Bah! Everyone's to wrapped up in political correctness to make a person behave decently! I don't try to control what other people say or do in their own private lives, but I'd really rather not see it when I go to work or when I might have my children with me!"   
  
Ryo suddenly understood why, at Seiji's house, Xiu had been so reluctant to tell his parents about him and Seiji.  
  
"There's no need for a man to be acting like a fairy in public, he should at least try to act a little more manly." Papa Faun looked around at his family. "I don't see any need to put on that sort of exhibition in public." Papa Faun sighed dramatically. "I may have to ask for a transfer, honey. I don't think I'll be able to keep my mouth shut if I have to watch that guy prance into work one more day. You know I don't want to offend anyone, but..." He let his sentence trail away while he continued to eat.  
  
Touma and Xiu exchanged tense looks, but kept their mouths shut.  
  
"Papa?" One of Xiu's little brothers spoke up. "Why does the man act like that if no one likes him?"  
  
"God only knows, my little dumpling." Papa Faun answered. "I guess he's just foolish. Well, so long as I don't have to live with it in my own family, it's none of my business." He paused before turning to Xiu. "So, how's your friend, Seiji? We haven't seen him in a while, either."  
  
Xiu choked on his food and Touma had to slap his back before Xiu could breathe again. "He's fine, papa. His grandfather keeps him pretty busy in the dojo, though. He keeps pretty busy helping his mom out, too."  
  
"Ah, yes. A good woman, Mrs. Date. What a shame she had to end up with a husband like that."  
  
From there the conversation turned to safer grounds and Ryo thought about Xiu's delicate situation while everyone else talked. 'How awful to have a great dad like that, but to be afraid to talk to him. Papa Faun would really react badly if Xiu told him about him and Seiji, but there's no way Xiu's going to be able to keep it quiet for long. If nothing else, rumor spreads like wildfire and someone will say something to papa or mama Faun.'   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo smiled, clutching the paper bag mama Faun had packed for him as he walked away from the Faun home after dinner had finished. 'Granma will be so happy!' Rice, chicken and cake especially for her and granma LOVED chocolate. Touma and Xiu were walking slowly in the other direction and Ryo cast one last look over his shoulder at them. Xiu's head was hanging low and Touma didn't seem to be in that much of a hurry, either.  
  
'I don't think I can help them.' Ryo thought, turning away from them. 'I can't even solve my own problems.' It had been so sad, when they'd stood outside the restaurant and Xiu just stood there, biting his lip for the longest time.  
  
"I don't know what the Hell I'm going to do." He confessed softly, as if he was afraid someone was listening inside the restaurant. "I don't want to disappoint my family and I don't want my dad to hate me, but I can't give up Seiji." Xiu looked so tired when he spoke. "I wish everything was different."  
  
"You're not alone." Touma said and Ryo had to agree with both of them. But wishing never made anything come true so it was useless to think about it. "Come on back to Shin's with me. He's got a good shoulder to cry on."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The old gas station was dark when Ryo got back so he assumed that the fire he'd left for Byakuen and his granma had burned itself out. Ryo heard Yaku-Chan whine at him the moment he walked in. "Are you hungry again?" Ryo asked, patting Byakuen's head. When Byakuen answered with a lick on Ryo's hand, Ryo laughed softly. "All right. I'll see you in the m-morning. Happy hunting."   
  
Byakuen ran off in great bounds into the night, leaving Ryo alone with his all ready sleeping granma. She was fast asleep under one of Sister Jo's blankets, her head resting on another blanket. "Granma?" Ryo got on his knees and shook her slightly. "Granma, wake u-up. I've got food."  
  
His granma woke slowly, blinking and looking around carefully. "Cold." She said in a whispered voice.   
  
Ryo looked at the almost dead fire and brought it back to life with a slight pull on his strangely silent fire. Normally, he could expect a running commentary from the voice while he was going about his normal life, but in the passed few hours, it hadn't said a word. When the fire was blazing brightly, Ryo sat next to his granma and pulled out a chicken leg for her. "Xiu's f-family sent it. Sorry I'm l-late."  
  
His granma didn't answer, though. She just lay there and made no move to get up. She looked worse than usual; almost transparent she was so pale and terribly sleepy, like she couldn't keep her eyes open.   
  
"Granma, are you a-a-all right?" Ryo was just starting to get worried when she turned her head to look at him.  
  
"Ryo." Her breath was as thin as she was but she raised a hand to put it on his. "Lay down and get some rest, my Ryo."  
  
Ryo didn't really want to lay down. 'She looks terrible! Maybe I should take her to the hospital even if she doesn't want to go.' But Ryo wasn't sure. If she seemed confused or like she wasn't thinking straight, he knew he could take her to the hospital because it would be his duty to take care of her as best as he could. "You d-don't look w-well. I'll go for a d-doctor." Ryo said, starting to stand up again.  
  
"No." Ryo's granma said, keeping her hand firmly on Ryo's. "I just need you near me so I know that you're safe. I love you so much, Ryo. You're my pride and my joy and no matter what happens, no matter what you do, I want you to know that I am proud of you."  
  
Ryo just looked at his granma. It seemed like such an odd thing to say. "Granma..."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"About the stealing." Ryo felt himself go cold, but his granma went on as if it didn't matter. "I've known for a long time, but I'm proud you tried so hard to take care of us. I know you go hunting with Byakuen and you share his meat. I know that something awful happened to you at that church so long ago and I think I know what it was." Ryo's granma closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I thought I was doing the right thing, I really did. Oh, Ryo," A tear ran down he cheek. "Can you ever forgive me?" She sobbed softly now, but still looked up at him. "I wanted to do so much more for you, but I wasn't strong enough. Please, forgive me, Ryo."  
  
'She wants MY forgiveness?' Ryo thought, bewildered as he patted his granma's back. 'She never did anything wrong!' "It's okay, granma." Ryo told her. "You were a-always strong." She was the one who taught him how to be strong after all. Ryo felt like he wanted to cry, now. He was honestly getting scared because she was so upset. "Granma, w-w-what's w-w-wrong? I...I...brought you f-f-food." His stutter was coming back with vengeance because of the stress of seeing his granma like this. Maybe if she ate she'd feel better.  
  
"No, dear one, I'm not hungry." Ryo's granma raised a hand to touch his cheek after wiping the tears from her eyes. "Such a good boy. You always take such good care of me, but I'm just not hungry, tonight. Get some sleep, Ryo. I'm just getting sentimental in my old age, that's all. Everything will look brighter in the morning, I'm sure."   
  
Together, in the light of Ryo's fire and under several layers of blankets, Ryo and his granma eventually fell asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Akane-  
  
  
  
  
Later that night, Akane woke up. She struggled to her feet, careful not to wake the strange boy who was sleeping next to her, and started walking. She wasn't sure where she was walking to, but she knew she had to be somewhere. If only it wasn't so cold...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	14. He Hates Me

Pain, Joy, Life  
  
  
Chapter 14  
He Hates Me  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji got out of jail on bond, using his earring to pay. It had been a gift from Yoko on the last anniversary of the day they'd met, though how Yoko had ever gotten her hands on it, Joji really didn't want to know. It was jade, worth nearly two thousand dollars with a pure gold stud, and Joji hated to part with it. 'Yoko would rather I help those boys than hold onto her earring.' That thought made it easier for him to hand it over and sign all the necessary papers. It was made easier for him with the fact that the police officers only witness to Yoko's murder was Shit Face and, of course, he hadn't bothered to show up to give his statement once he'd made a clean get away. Joji was still expected to show up for his court day, in all honesty, though, Joji didn't expect to make it.  
  
Walking out of the police station, Joji realized he had no idea where to go. With the shelter closed down, Ryo could be anywhere and God only knew where Touma was. For a long moment, Joji stood on the sidewalk, watching the cars and people pass him by, thinking.  
  
'It's been so long since I've been without Yoko.' He thought, almost frightened by the possibility of a life without her. Joji couldn't even remember why they started hanging around each other in the first place, only that it felt right to be with her and now that she was gone, Joji could feel a terrible ache in his heart.   
  
Joji thought back to everything he knew about Ryo and Touma, about everything he could remember them telling him. There was nothing in his memory that would tell Joji where the boys might have gone, so he turned his thoughts to the cause of his problems: Shit Face.  
  
Shit Face had never told anyone where he lived, but it wouldn't be hard to find him. The pimp always hung around the streets where his girls and boys turned tricks, so all Joji would have to do was to scout around the streets he knew Shit Face used.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
'It's cold.' Ryo thought when he woke up and there was a distinct feeling of emptiness next to him. It took him a minute to wake up properly, rubbing his eyes and blinking away the sleep that still clung to him. He realized at once that Byakuen hadn't returned from his hunting, yet. Normally, when Byakuen came back, he would curl up around Ryo and snuggle in to sleep. But tonight, Ryo was freezing cold, the fire having gone out while he was asleep.   
  
With a thought, Ryo brought life back to the fire, stirring it up with almost no effort at all. Only then, when the old gas station was brightly lit did Ryo notice something very frightening. "Granma?" She was gone.   
  
  
  
  
  
After nearly a half an hour of searching, Ryo was in tears, he was so scared. 'Seiji!' Ryo thought desperately. 'Seiji will help me!' So Ryo took off running as fast as he could for the Date home, but he had no idea what Seiji could possibly do to help. 'If I knew where Yaku-Chan was, he could sniff granma out, but Yaku-Chan is still off hunting. I don't know what to do! I'll tell the police and they'll help me, they'll have to. Maybe granma went back to the shelter, if she got confused or started forgetting again. Or maybe she went to a hospital, but didn't wake me up.' Ryo really didn't know what he was thinking while he ran, the thoughts were coming so quickly and swirled around his head wildly that he couldn't concentrate on any one thought. 'What if...what if she's hurt? What if someone hurt her and she can't get to help?'   
  
  
  
  
  
The ice-cold rain that was falling, freezing almost on contact, and the howling wind made the cold worse. Ryo pulled his collar tighter around his throat, but kept running and he tried to ignore the pain made by the wind whipping at his face. After a quick stop into the police station to report his granma had wandered off and giving her description to the officer, Ryo ran out again. 'I'll ask Seiji to help me look and then I'll go to Shin's house and ask him and Touma to help. Xiu and his dad will help, I'm sure.' But Seiji was the first stop and Ryo was going to waste no time getting there.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kanto-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kanto thought she was dead, at first. She was so pale and still, sitting on the bench just outside his front door, but a quick check showed that she was still breathing.   
  
Kanto knew that it was Seiji's fault he was wandering the halls of his own home so late at night, nearly midnight. The boy had been up so late doing something in his bedroom. 'What am I going to do with the boy?' Kanto thought as he restlessly paced the halls of his home. 'Honestly! Candles? Stones? Chanting spells? What can he be thinking? Seiji can't really believe in all that nonsense.'  
  
But it seemed that Seiji did believe. Seiji worked furiously in his garden for herbs he said he needed for various spells that he'd tell them nothing about. He had almost two dozen books on different wicca practices and had just decided that he'd decided against joining a coven. "I prefer to work alone." Seiji told them at dinner a few nights ago, as if it was a normal, average dinner conversation.  
  
Tonight Seiji was up late and the smell of strange incense wafted from his bedroom, making the whole house smell like spices. It was a pleasant enough smell, but not one Kanto could sleep with. He kept glancing under Seiji's door to see if the boy had put out the light, but it stayed on and Kanto was starting to think he'd never get any sleep if Seiji didn't give...whatever it was a rest soon. He had to be honest with himself when he said he had no clue what Seiji got up to when he was alone. Surely, the boy wasn't hurting himself and he certainly wasn't hurting anyone else, but other than that, Kanto had no idea. Seiji was very fixed on the notion that he wouldn't hurt any living creature, if he could help it, so Kanto wasn't terribly worried that his grandson was sacrificing anything in his room. 'But I do wish I could ask him.'  
  
When Seiji had first come out and told them he was taking up wicca, Kanto hadn't reacted well and his reaction had started a good many blood boiling screaming matches. In the end, only Kanto promising himself that he wouldn't poke his nose into Seiji's religion had brought peace back to the household.   
  
Still, the light under Seiji's door was on and the smell of spice seemed to only grow. Plus, now, Kanto could hear Seiji's low chanting of what sounded like a foreign language and he thought he should get away for a little while. As much as Seiji protested his faith was harmless, it made Kanto more than a little uneasy.   
  
He had just gone into the living room when he saw the shadow of someone on his bench outside.  
  
That was how Kanto ended up outside in the middle of the night and staring, horrified, at Akane. She was so pale; her skin was almost blue. Her hair, once done neatly in a bun on the back of her head, was hanging in limp strands down her neck and on her face. Her hands were folded primly on her lap and her head was tilted slightly to the side, where she'd fallen asleep.  
  
"Akane?" Kanto reached out and shook her thin shoulder gently, but got no response. "Akane? Can you hear me?" Still, she didn't answer. Finally, Kanto gave up trying to wake her and, instead, picked her up. She was heavier than he remembered her being, or perhaps age was finally catching up with him, but Kanto managed to get her in the house without much difficulty. He carried her into the house and called out as loudly as he could, "Seiji! Honto!"  
  
Seiji, since he was all ready awake, came immediately. Though the boy was barely dressed, wearing only a pair of faded boxer shorts, Seiji took in the situation as calmly as he usually did. He yelled for his mother again before running to the hall closet to grab blankets. Seiji followed his grandfather down the hall to the guest room and covered up their guest quickly before going to the thermostat and turning it up. "Will she be all right?" Seiji asked quietly, while Kanto used one of the blankets to try to dry Akane's soaking hair.  
  
"I don't know." Kanto almost snapped. 'She can't die. Please, she can't die like this.' "Go help your mother into her chair, she'll know better than I do."  
  
"Yes, grandfather." Seiji jumped to his feet, for once, obediently. Kanto had to give Seiji credit for that, anyway. The boy might like to fight and bicker about almost anything, but when a real emergency came about, he knew when to obey and how to keep calm.  
  
'Right now, I need Seiji's calm. God knows I don't think I'll be able to manage my own nerves!' Kanto, now finished drying Akane's hair to the best of his ability, looked down at her sunken face. Now that she was no longer trying to look strong for the sake of her pride, he could see how terrible she looked. 'Please, don't die. I only just found you again.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo pounded as hard as he could on the Date front door when he reached Seiji's home, completely forgetting all the formality that Seiji's family expected. Ryo knocked again on the heavy wooden door as hard as he could before shouting at the top of his lungs, "S-S-Seiji!" 'Oh, please, they have to hear me. Someone must be awake!' "Seiji!!" Ryo screamed.  
  
Just when Ryo was going to yell again, the door swung open and Seiji was there, dressed in boxer shorts and nothing else. If Ryo hadn't been so worried, he'd have blushed at Seiji's state of undress, but as it was, he barely noticed.   
  
Seiji, strangely, looked almost as worried as Ryo felt. "Ryo, I was just about to come looking for you. Come in!" He grabbed Ryo's arm and pulled him into the house, hurriedly. "Mom's pretty worried."  
  
"W-w-what?" Ryo stammered, letting Seiji pull him along. Seiji kept up an insistent pull until they came to the living room and then went down the hall where Ryo knew the bedrooms were. "What's g-going..." Ryo stopped when Seiji opened the door of the guest bedroom and Ryo saw his granma laying in the bed. At her side was Dr. Date, keeping a close eye on Ryo's granma. "G-g-granma."  
  
"Ryo." Dr. Date motioned him to come forward and sit on the edge of the bed. "She'd want to see you, I think."   
  
But whatever his granma wanted, Ryo would never know. She was deeply asleep and her breathing was very soft. Ryo bit his lip and felt his stomach twist itself into a knot. 'What do I do? What do I say?' "When w-w-will g-granma wake u-up?" He asked hoarsely.  
  
Dr. Date hung her head a little. "We have to get her to a hospital, Ryo. I really can't say, I don't know enough, yet. It rather depends on how long she was wandering around, it's been so cold."  
  
"Hospital." Ryo repeated numbly. 'Hospital was good. Yes. I should have taken her to the hospital earlier.'  
  
Ryo dimly heard Dr. Date say, "Seiji, Kanto, I need to talk in the other room." They all left, giving Ryo a minute alone, and Seiji gave Ryo's arm a kind squeeze before he left.  
  
'What have I done?' Ryo picked up his granma's cold hand and held it. 'Sister Jo warned me, but I didn't listen. I should have taken granma to the hospital when Sister Jo told me to.' Ryo felt his breath start to come in gasps, but he couldn't seem to switch his thoughts to something more hopeful. 'She's hurting and sick and all because of me. All because I'm to stupid to do what I'm told. I knew Sister Jo was smarter than me, but I'm not smart enough to listen. I thought I could do this.'   
  
"It's going to cost money."  
  
Ryo turned towards the door when he heard Dr. Date's voice. She sounded worried and Ryo moved away from his granma slightly so he could hear her better through the paper door. Dr. Date was talking to Seiji's grandfather and Ryo could just barely see their shadows through the paper.  
  
"The hospital is so expensive." Seiji's grandfather said.  
  
"We don't have any choice." Dr. Date said firmly. "She's got to go to the hospital or I don't think she'll live. She must have been out in that cold rain for at least two hours and her health wasn't good to begin with. I can't believe Ryo has any money to pay for it, either. He's starving just trying to stay alive. It'll take several thousand yen, at least!"  
  
'What? How am I going to get that kind of money?!'  
  
"Ryo? Are you going to be all right?"  
  
Ryo looked up to find Seiji standing in the doorway, looking at him worriedly. Ryo shook his head. "No." 'How can Seiji even ask that?!' Ryo thought, almost angry with his friend. 'How could I be all right? My granma ...she might die tonight.'  
  
"We called the ambulance just before you got here. It'll be here soon." Closing the door behind him, Seiji moved so he was sitting close to Ryo and put his hand on Ryo's shoulder. "Do you want me to sit with you for a while?"  
  
"Y-you said you do h-healing magic." Ryo said softly. Maybe, if Seiji's magic was real then he could help. "Save her."  
  
Seiji's hand tightened on Ryo's shoulder. "It doesn't work that way, Ryo." Seiji shook his head sadly. "Your granma is old and I can't fight nature. This is her time."  
  
Ryo pulled his hand away from Seiji violently. "Don't!"  
  
Seiji said nothing; he didn't seem at all surprised by Ryo's reaction, but Ryo was in no mood to think about Seiji. Seiji pulled his hand away and just waited.  
  
"Y-you can't s-s-save my granma, you w-w-wont even try!" Ryo was so furious he could barely speak with the stutter coming back. 'Seiji's not even going to try to help! So much for his magic crap!' Ryo thought bitterly, looking away from Seiji. 'His wicca is about as much use as Christianity! All fine and good until you actually need them. Until you have to depend on them.' Tears stung Ryo's eyes. 'I couldn't trust on Bishop Brannon. Sister Jo left me. Now, I can't even depend on Seiji, either. It's all garbage! All religion! It won't save my granma.'  
  
The fire in Ryo's mind was crackling and pushing at him, looking for a way out of the prison Ryo kept it in. It begged him, 'Let me out! Let me burn and let me take away the hurt!'  
  
'You'll hurt Seiji.' Ryo protested, keeping his eyes on his granma's sleeping face. If he looked at Seiji, Ryo was afraid he'd let the fire have its way. 'I don't want to hurt him.'  
  
'Yes, you do.' The voice of the fire insisted. 'You know you want to hurt him. Look at him. He's everything you wish you were and you're drowning in your envy. Since the day you met him, you wanted to be like Seiji, but you don't think you ever can. You want to hurt him. Just once, you want to make him hurt as much as you hurt everyday.'  
  
'He's my friend!'  
  
'But you want to make him hurt. I'm apart of you, Ryo. I KNOW you want him to hurt, so don't try to lie to me. Don't worry. I can't hurt him, even if I wanted to. He's like Shin. But I can help your pain. Let me take your pain and use it to burn this beautiful house to the ground! Let me fill this place with smoke and ash, let me burn everything he holds dear and then Seiji will hurt.' The voice was powerful, and Ryo could feel it trying to...it was hard to describe. The voice of the fire was pushing at his skin from the inside and Ryo wrapped his arms around himself. 'Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.' With every word the pressure grew and Ryo knew that as long as Seiji was here, he might not be able to control the fire.  
  
'Leave him alone!'  
  
'I only want what you want, Ryo. You know that. Look at him sitting there so safe and unworried. He deserves to be hurt, just a little.'   
  
"Ryo, please," Seiji said, unaware of Ryo's inner conflict. "I will try to help your granma, but I don't think it'll do any good. Mom called the ambulance and they'll take her to the hospital. I think, in this case, that's the best place for her." His voice took on a pleading quality. "Please, I'll do anything you want me to do, I'll try my hardest to help, but..."  
  
'He's lying, you know he is.' The fire's voice told Ryo and Ryo felt himself starting to give it. 'He doesn't care about how you feel or how much pain you're in. No one cares about you. No one except me. Let me make you happy, Ryo. Let me hurt him.'  
  
'I have to get Seiji out of here!' Ryo realized. 'If he stays the voice is only going to get stronger! I might not be able to stop it and then Seiji AND granma will be hurt.' Ryo did resent Seiji, a little. How could he not be jealous? But Seiji was still his friend and he wouldn't let his friend be hurt because of him!  
  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
"Please, I'll do anything you want me to do, I'll try my hardest to help, but..." Seiji stopped talking, he could see that it wasn't helping. Seiji didn't want to hurt Ryo, but he had to tell the truth. Ryo's granma was very old and her life had made her body weak. There was a great chance that she wouldn't survive the night and Seiji didn't want to raise Ryo's hopes if he was only going to be hurt later.  
  
Ryo looked like he was going to have a breakdown and, frankly, Seiji wouldn't have been surprised. Ryo was shaking and had just wrapped his arms around himself; halfway hunching over himself with his eyes squeezed shut. 'How can I help? I don't know what do to.'  
  
"Ryo," Seiji inched himself closer and started to put his arm around Ryo. "Please, look at me."  
  
Ryo's eyes snapped open and he glared at Seiji. "Go!" Ryo snarled. "Get a-away from m-me!"   
  
"Ryo..."  
  
But Ryo didn't stop to listen and moved away from Seiji. "You h-have your f-family and y-y-your home! Why w-would you c-care? G-get a-a-away!" Ryo was nearly yelling, and Seiji flinched away from the utter hate in Ryo's voice. He'd been hated before, by lots of people, but never by someone he considered almost a brother.  
  
'He hates me.' Seiji thought, devastated. 'He really hates me.' Seiji reached out to Ryo. "I only want to help."  
  
"Get away!" Ryo screamed and lashed out, slapping Seiji across the face.  
  
Shocked, Seiji didn't have time to move and his head snapped sharply. It wasn't a hard hit; Seiji had gotten far worse injuries sparing with his grandfather, but it hurt all the same. 'He...he hit me.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
'This is it.' Ryo thought, watching Seiji's one visible eye widen as his hand went to his all ready red cheek where Ryo had hit him. 'He's going to hate me now and he'll leave. He'll be safe. I won't be able to hurt him.'  
  
'He won't.' The fire's voice told Ryo. 'He'll attack you and then you'll have to let me out.' The voice laughed. 'He's to strong for you to fight alone.'  
  
'No, he'll leave me.' Ryo answered, confidently. 'He'll be safe from you if he leaves and I can get a hold of myself again.' Ryo knew that he'd be abandoned again. This time, though, it was his choice.  
  
Despite his confidence, Ryo tensed when Seiji leaned forward. He was ready for Seiji to attack; ready for anything that Seiji might do to him. Well...almost anything.  
  
"It's okay, Ryo." Seiji leaned forward and hugged Ryo, putting his arms tightly around Ryo. "Everything will be all right."  
  
Ryo froze.  
  
"I promise I'll do everything I can, but I can't promise you miracles. I don't want to lie to you. I do care about you and about your granma, please believe me." Seiji whispered comfortingly.  
  
Ryo felt the power of the fire's voice fade until he was able to relax against Seiji. It felt weird, letting someone hold him. But it also felt good to know that Seiji wouldn't leave him, no matter what he did.  
  
It started with a choke and a single tear running down his face, but before Ryo could stop himself, he was sobbing on Seiji's shoulder and put his arms around Seiji for support. "I c-can't lose her. She c-can't die." Ryo wailed as Seiji patted his hair.   
  
Seiji said nothing, just held Ryo and sat with him until Ryo ran out of tears and just clung to Seiji as if he were the last bit of sanity left in the world. Ryo felt weak and wrung out, like all the energy had been taken from him.   
  
"I don't know what to tell you, Ryo." Seiji said when Ryo had calmed down. "I want to tell you a lie. I want to tell you your granma will be fine." Seiji reached up to wipe the tears off Ryo's face. "I should tell you the truth. But I think you all ready know the truth."  
  
Ryo closed his eyes, as if that would save him from reality. "T-tell me...tell me this is a n-nightmare. Tell me I-I'll wake up and n-none of this has happened." When Ryo opened his eyes, though, the nightmare hadn't ended. "I'm sorry. I said those t-things..." Ryo would have started crying again, if he'd had any tears left.  
  
Seiji gently pushed Ryo away slightly so he could look Ryo in the eyes. "I don't mind. You can hate me if you want."  
  
"I d-don't want to."  
  
"That's okay. You need someone to hate right now and I'm used to being hated." Seiji moved again and lay Ryo's head on the floor. "I need to talk with mom and grandfather, but I'll be right back, I promise."  
  
So Ryo was left alone with his guilty thoughts and wondering what to do about the hospital money.  
  
'Why did I stay at Xiu's? I'm so selfish! I should have gone back on time!' Even Ryo couldn't explain why he felt guilty about staying at Xiu's. It wasn't as if coming home early would have helped his granma at all, he just felt that he could have done something...anything. If he'd been with her to keep the fire going, if he'd brought the food back earlier, if...there were so many ifs. 'If I hadn't been born, granma would be safe somewhere else.'  
  
Ryo felt like his whole world was ending despite Seiji's kind words and felt like crawling into a hole and dying. 'I can't just sit here. I have to do something. She's depending on me.'  
  
"Ryo." His granma's eyes flickered open and Ryo sighed with relief, so glad that she'd finally woken up. Maybe she wasn't as sick as Dr. Date thought. Maybe everything would be all right, after all. Ryo's granma raised a hand to touch his cheek and Ryo held her other hand, so unbelievably happy that she'd woken up. "Such a good boy, my Ryo. You always take such good care of me." Her hand fell back to her chest and Ryo saw her uneven breathing. Her skin was so pale he could see the blood veins under her skin and her eyes were a sickly yellowish color. Slowly, her eyes closed again and didn't reopen.  
  
'Dr. Date said she'd need several thousand yen, right?' Ryo leaned over and kissed his granma's forehead. "I'll be r-right back, granma." He knew how to get that kind of money. It was something he had sworn he'd never do, never let himself stoop to doing something like that. But this was for granma. Pick pocketing wouldn't do it this time; he needed a lot and fast. 'I have to do this.'  
  
Ryo crept out to the bedroom window and into the night.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo was very aware of the people who stared at him as they passed by. This late at night, there weren't to many people, but there were enough to treat him like eye-candy, drooling and staring. He saw prostitutes eyeing him up and down, trying to determine if he was a threat or not, but no one said anything to him for the longest time. It was still cold and the freezing rain drizzled down, but Ryo found a place under a store's awning to shelter in.   
  
Ryo jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder.   
  
It was a slightly older man in an expensive suit. He leered at Ryo with a nasty spark in his eyes. "You look like you could use a few yen, little boy. A man suggested you."  
  
It was a fairly common pickup line for the prostitutes around here, and Ryo had heard it a few times when he'd hung around with Yoko and Joji. He'd actually been waiting to hear it for almost an hour as he stood on the streets watching the cars go by. Ryo pushed his hair back from his eyes and looked at the stranger. Very well dressed and a look in his eye that said he knew what exactly what he was looking for and that he'd just found it in Ryo.  
  
Trying to squelch the knot of fear in his stomach, Ryo replied. "A-a-actually, I could use a l-l-lot of yen." He hoped he sounded confident.  
  
The stranger ran a hand down Ryo's chest, down to the waistband of his jeans.  
Ryo fought with himself not to run at the man's touch. This felt so very, very wrong. His mind was screaming at him to stop this, get away before you do something stupid.  
  
'Let me hurt him!' The fire's voice screamed, furiously. 'He's not like Seiji or Shin, I can hurt him! Let me burn him! An insignificant human who dares put his hands on you doesn't deserve to live, Ryo!'  
  
'No. I need his money and this is the only way.'  
  
'Don't let him touch you!'  
  
'I don't want to hurt anyone.' Ryo forced himself to look the man in the eyes. 'I really don't want to hurt anyone. You weren't able to help me the with Brannon, so I can handle this alone, too.'   
  
"Is a hundred thousand yen enough for your night?" The man asked, keeping one hand on Ryo's chest.  
  
Ryo froze. This was for Granma. He closed his eyes and choked out, "Y-y-yes." But a thought occurred to him. "Who suggested me?" How could anyone suggest him when he'd only been out here for a couple of hours?  
  
The man put his arm around Ryo's shoulders and pulled Ryo uncomfortably close to his large body before pointing to a nearby street corner where Ryo could easily see a man holding an umbrella. Shit Face.  
  
Shit Face raised a hand and waved pleasantly and Ryo felt himself go cold. But he didn't have time to wonder or worry about how Shit Face had found him. The stranger gave Ryo a slightly pull and Ryo followed where he was led.  
  
"Don't worry, little boy." The stranger leaned down to whisper into Ryo's ear. "He said this was your first night on the streets, so I'll be real nice."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To be continued... 


	15. Nightmare Relived

Chapter 15  
Nightmare Relived  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shit Face-  
  
  
  
  
  
'Well, what do you know? I think I've finally broken him.' Shit Face watched as Ryo was led away by the man he'd hired to lure the boy to Bishop Brannon. Ryo said something to Jack Lung and Jack Lung pointed to where Shit Face stood. 'Damn. Jack Lung's going to have to learn to keep his mouth shut.' Shit Face smiled brightly when Ryo saw him and waved cheerily. His smile only brightened at Ryo's stricken expression. Shit Face didn't like it when his underlings went blabbing and it would have been better if Ryo hadn't known that Shit Face was behind all of this.   
  
Still, Ryo let Jack Lung lead him away without so much as a fight and Shit Face was pretty well pleased with how well this was working out. It seemed as if his prediction was coming true and Ryo was getting desperate for money. 'Soon, he's going to be mine. He'll find out that it's easier to work with me rather than against me.' With Ryo as one of his boys, Shit Face knew it wouldn't be to difficult to get the blue haired boy, Touma, as well. They'd more than make up the money he was losing from Joji and Yoko. 'Yes. This is going to be a good night.'   
  
Shit Face pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and started to make his way home. Though he walked as if he didn't have a care in the world, there were a lot of questions in Shit Face's mind about Ryo. 'I wonder whose house he was at. I saw that good-looking blond kid with him, taking a bath with Ryo, no less.' Shit Face chuckled at the memory of when he'd looked into the bathroom window and saw Ryo taking a bath with the blonde. 'He be a pretty addition to my collection. I wonder if I could tempt him away from his home.' But when he thought of the voyeuristic peek he'd gotten of Ryo in the bathtub, Shit Face had to remember the mysterious fire that had broken out when he'd shown Ryo the little souvenir he'd gotten from Joji, the chunk of pink hair.   
  
There was no way that Shit Face could think of that the fire could have started. The only fire in the bathroom had been a small candle that had been nowhere near the curtains when they'd suddenly burst into flames. 'I'll have to solve that little mystery.'   
  
Shit Face had just gone into his house when he realized something was wrong. He was about to leave when a large hand wrapped around his throat and threw him into the still dark house. Shit Face landed with a crash when he hit the floor lamp and it broke, shattering glass on the floor.  
  
"What the Hell!?" Shit Face quickly sat up and pulled out the small knife he kept hidden under his shirt, but he couldn't see his attacker in the darkness. "Who are you?" He demanded, hoping that if the attacker spoke, he'd be able to know where he should aim his knife.  
  
Unfortunately, his attacker didn't seem to feel the need for words, but easily grabbed the knife from Shit Face's hand and then Shit Face felt a slicing pain though the middle of his chest that ripped up slowly toward his neck. Then, it was over.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Joji could see very well in the dark and he watched Shit Face die without a shred of emotion. He didn't feel sorry about what he'd done, but he also didn't feel happy. Joji didn't feel a bit of sadness that he'd just taken a human life nor did he feel as if he'd done something that Yoko would be proud of. She was such a gentle woman, so caring and kind. Yoko wouldn't have liked killing anyone, not even Shit Face.  
  
'But it had to be done.' Joji lightly held Shit Face's knife in his hand and made his way to the couch without looking at the apartment around him. 'He just had to die.' Joji put the knife to his wrist and drew it carefully across, then up the length of his arm, making a cross on his wrist. It didn't even hurt, really. 'He had to die, so I could die.'   
  
Joji let the warm blood run freely down his arm, setting the knife on the couch beside him and leaned back his head. 'Now Ryo and Touma will be safe. I don't have to worry about them. Yoko, I'll be with you soon, I promise.'   
  
There was a feeling of fading, drifting away, but Joji wasn't afraid. Yoko had promised that she'd always be with him and he had complete faith that she would be waiting for him. He felt warm and cold all at once, but he wasn't afraid. Joji let his one good eye close. "Yoko..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What's your name, kid?" The man holding Ryo's arm asked casually while they walked together. Ryo didn't answer. The last thing he wanted for this person to know was who he really was. "Quite right." The man said after a moment of Ryo's silence. "There's no need, now is there?" He laughed pleasantly. "It's not as if this is going to be going for a meaningful relationship, after all."  
  
'Kill me now and get it over with.' Ryo thought, feeling sick to his stomach. The man wasn't being unkind and Ryo thought that he should feel grateful for that, he'd heard enough horror stories from other prostitutes, but he just couldn't stop thinking about what was about to happen. 'I have to do this. I can handle it.'  
  
The man led Ryo though the dark, rainy night, holding his umbrella over Ryo's head to keep him dry. "You'll get sick if you get cold on a night like this." He told Ryo. Then he leaned down and whispered, close enough that Ryo could feel the man's breath on his ear. "I'll dry you off soon enough and warm you enough to make your blood boil." There was a strange, uncomfortable silkiness to his voice and Ryo fought the shiver that ran down his spine. The man laughed happily, seeing Ryo's reaction. "You really are new at this, aren't you?"  
  
Ryo couldn't help but move a little away from the man, but the man's hand was heavy on Ryo's shoulder and held him close. "Don't be shy." The man laughed. "You can call me Jack Lung. It's not my real name, of course, but it'll do for now." He looked at Ryo to see if he'd get a reaction and, getting none, continued to talk. "You should talk a little more, kid. You'll get more clients if you smile a bit."  
  
'Smile?' Ryo thought to himself. 'How am I supposed to smile?' Still, to make sure he got his money, Ryo managed a weak, watery smile for Jack Lung.   
  
"Well, it's a start, I suppose."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo stared at the large, well-kept house. He'd expected a motel room or a slightly more expensive hotel, but to be brought to someone's house was almost unheard of, according to what Joji and Yoko had told him. Jack Lung gave Ryo's arm a tug. "Come on, then. No getting cold feet now, little one." Ryo swallowed hard and somehow forced his feet to move; following Jack Lung up a brick walkway.  
  
Through sheer curtains, Ryo could see someone's shadow moving around inside the house. Jack Lung must have seen that Ryo noticed because he said, "You don't mind, do you?"   
  
Ryo numbly shook his head. 'Two people?' He hadn't been expecting that. 'Is it gonna hurt more? How...how do they do it with three people?' The thoughts ran round and round in his head, not stopping long enough to calm himself, but moving far to quickly to actually panic him.  
  
Jack Lung's hand on Ryo's shoulder unexpectedly tightened when they reached the door and Jack Lung rang the doorbell. "This is nothing personal, kid." His voice was suddenly different from his easy going, cheery manner was gone and he seemed more distant. "It's only business." Jack Lung wouldn't look Ryo in the eye when he spoke. "I'm not your client tonight. I lied to you, I'm sorry. I was employed to bring you here for someone. He was worried that if you knew who he was, you wouldn't come to him. I'm sorry about all this."  
  
Ryo, alarmed by the man's cryptic words, would have run away then and there if Jack Lung's hand hadn't been holding him so tightly.   
  
The door swung open and Ryo's heart stopped. The world froze when Ryo saw the familiar, older face. It was the same strong, handsome face, though the dark hair was turned grey and there were more lines on his face. "B-B-B-Bran-n-non." Ryo almost choked at the sight of Father, or rather, Bishop Brannon.  
  
"Hello, Ryo. It's been a long time. Come in." Bishop Brannon stood aside graciously to let Jack Lung lead Ryo inside. "I've missed you." As Ryo passed him Bishop Brannon gave Ryo soft pat on the shoulder.   
  
"I've done my part, I got the boy here." Jack Lung turned abruptly to Bishop Brannon. "My money, if you don't mind."  
  
"Of course." Bishop Brannon reached into his pocket and pulled out several large bills. "You've done well; tell your employer that I thank him."  
  
Jack Lung gave him a disgusted look. "Don't insult me. It's degrading enough doing this work without you trying to act as if I'm delivering a newspaper." As he turned and started out the door, Jack Lung cast an almost guilty look at Ryo, who looked like a deer trapped in headlights, and then back at Bishop Brannon. "Take it easy on the boy. He's a good kid."  
  
"Don't worry." Bishop Brannon told him, turning his hungry eyes to Ryo. "I always take good care of my flock and Ryo is no exception." He took a step towards Ryo. "He'll be treated very well."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Several hours later-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
As the sun was rising, Ryo staggered back to Seiji's house. He clutched the precious, hard-earned yen in his hand, trying not to feel the shame that was almost crushing him. He felt so dirty and sore and a kind of numbness that made the world around him seem foggy. 'I can't...I can't believe I did it.' But he did do it. He'd done everything Brannon had wanted him to do.  
  
"Just like the last time, Ryo." Brannon had said when Jack Lung had left them alone. "I want to see you just like the last time we were together."  
  
God, it had hurt! But not so much as the first time. Ryo supposed he should be happy about that, anyway. The last time it had felt like his insides were being ripped out. There had been blood this time, too, but Ryo tried not to think about that to much.  
  
'But this wasn't rape.' Ryo told himself. 'I can't blame Brannon for it, this time. I let him.' The money in Ryo's hand felt icky, but he held on tightly to it. Getting paid for letting Brannon touch him made it seem worse. Far, far worse.   
  
Strangely, though, Ryo couldn't remember much of what had happened. 'I remember when he told me to sit on his lap and I remember when he took off my shirt...I remember when he took me to his bedroom and said to lay down. I...I think I remember...he put his hands on my back. Everything got dark."  
  
Ryo stopped walking and put a hand to his head. There had been pain and a hot breath on his face; there had been a feeling of being to hot and a feeling of...of...Ryo struggled to reach the memory, but it slipped away from him. 'Probably a good thing.' He thought, continuing on his way. 'I don't think I'd want to remember it, anyway.'  
  
Ryo had a sudden flash of a memory that he couldn't quite connect to anything. "Is this how much your body is worth to you?" Ryo stopped when the unfamiliar voice, deep and guttural, echoed in his mind. "Such a small amount, really."   
  
Ryo shook his head to make the strange memory go away. 'I must be imagining things.' He told himself. 'I've never heard a voice like that before.'  
  
As quickly as he could, trying not to think about what he'd done for the money in his pocket or the strange memory of the voice, Ryo ran the rest of the way to Seiji's home. He didn't bother to knock when he finally got there, but instead ran straight in. "Dr. Date, I h-h-have the money!"   
  
"Ryo, we're in here." Seiji called out and Ryo found Seiji's family waiting for him in the living room. Dr. Date looked like she'd been crying and Seiji's grandfather looked as if he was just barely holding back tears. Ryo frowned at their somber expressions when everyone looked up at him.   
  
Ryo went cold, but the fire started to build. 'Let me out, Ryo.' The fire told him.  
  
Dr. Date wheeled himself to Ryo and took his hand. "Ryo, dear...you should sit."  
  
Ryo didn't move except to take his hand away from her. "What's wrong?" He dug into his pants pocket and pulled out the fist full of yen. "I got the money you said g-granma needed. I heard you talking to Mr. Date. You said granma needs money for the h-hospital." He was so happy, but couldn't understand what was wrong with them. Why weren't they happy for him? He'd worked so damned hard for the money.  
  
"You...you should save the money, Ryo. Your granma won't be needing it."  
  
Ryo swayed as her words sunk in. 'No. Please, no.'   
  
Seiji, who had been standing behind his mom, came forward, touching Ryo's shoulder gently. "After you left...the ambulance came, but it was to late." Ryo stood frozen when Seiji put his arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Ryo."  
  
'Let me out!' The fire yelled, fueled by Ryo's churning emotions.  
  
Ryo jerked violently away from Seiji, trying not to cry. "N-n-no! You're l-l-lying! Where's my g-g-granma!?" The fire inside was steadily growing, but Ryo did very little to control it. Let it burn.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seiji-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
'I hate seeing him hurt like this!' Seiji watched Ryo shake and clutch desperately at the large wad of yen. 'He must have done something desperate for the money.' But Seiji wasn't all that concerned with the money. Ryo's eyes were very wide and he staggered forward a step as if he couldn't control his own body.  
  
Seiji heard a distant whisper in his mind. 'Don't touch him. He wouldn't like it and he'd try to hurt you.'  
  
Seiji went cold. Voices?  
  
The distant whisper spoke again. 'Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you.'  
  
Almost forgetting Ryo's grief, Seiji broke out in a cold sweat. 'I'm hearing voices...like dad.'  
  
Seiji's mom came forward again, but didn't try to touch Ryo this time. "I had the ambulance take her to the morgue. We'll help you to make all the arrangements..."  
  
But Ryo put both hands to his face and was muttering. "No. No. No. No. No." Ryo let his hands drop away from his face, falling to his knees, throwing his head back as a scream ripped from his throat. He screamed and screamed like he'd never stop.   
  
"Oh, Ryo, honey..." Seiji's mom reached out to Ryo again, but when her hand came within an inch of Ryo's face the sleeve of her shirt burst into flame. "Ahhhhh!" She cried out, lurching away from Ryo and swinging her flaming arm wildly.  
  
'Shit!' Seiji grabbed his mom while his grandfather slapped the fire out. It was a panicked moment, but it didn't last long before the fire had been put out. Seiji's mom slumped in her chair, panting heavily, even through the entire arm of her shirt had been burned to ash, and her skin was completely untouched. She was pale and shaking, but otherwise, looked fine.  
  
Ryo had stopped screaming when Seiji's mom had caught fire, but he'd just stared while they rushed to put out the fire. With tears still in his eyes, Ryo looked at her with horror. "I'm sorry." He whispered, standing slowly. "I didn't mean it."  
  
Seiji looked at Ryo. "What do you mean? What didn't you mean to do?" He really didn't see how Ryo had anything to apologize about. It couldn't be the fire, Seiji would have seen if Ryo had done anything.  
  
Ryo backed away from them and toward the door. He looked so afraid. "I didn't mean it!" Ryo turned and bolted out of the house.  
  
Seiji followed him to the wall of the family compound. "Ryo!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He couldn't cry. Nothing felt real, even with his heart being a cold lump in his chest. He was cold all ready from the winter rain and wore nothing but his pants and a T-shirt. He felt like his mind was in a fog. Granma was dead and he'd almost burnt up Seiji's mom. He was monster.  
  
'You're not a monster. You're just new at this.' The fiery voice told him. 'We are...'  
  
"Shut up!" Ryo snapped out loud, not caring who hear him talking to himself. "This is your fault, anyway!"  
  
'Is it?'  
  
"You burnt her up!"  
  
'I can't do anything unless you let me, Ryo. If I could have, I never would have let that man touch you. You stopped me and you wanted to make Seiji's mom leave you alone. You could have stopped me then, too, but you didn't even try.'  
  
'But...' Ryo didn't have an answer. He'd been able to control the fire often enough in the past that he knew it was probably right. Maybe, deep down, he really did want to hurt Seiji and he'd just used the excuse of his granma's death to hurt Seiji's mom. Ryo was distracted from the voice by a warm something brushing against his hand. "Byakuen?" Ryo looked down, to find the white tiger looking up at him with mournful, understanding eyes. "She died."  
  
Byakuen made a moan like noise and rubbed his head against Ryo's side, showing his sympathy, before sitting on his haunches next to Ryo. Together, they looked out at the sun as it hung over the horizon and Ryo leaned on the rail of the park's only bridge, to depressed to think of what he should be doing. Byakuen didn't seem to think there was any need to do anything and simply sat with Ryo, waiting.  
  
'I should hate him.' Ryo thought, looking out of the corner of his eye at Byakuen. 'He's never here when I need him. I wonder if he can smell Brannon on me.' Ryo was almost sure Byakuen could and he couldn't understand why Byakuen could stand to be near him. 'I can practically smell him on me and I can't stand myself.' Ryo had a sudden desire to take a very hot shower and scrub himself for a week. He still felt nasty.  
  
Byakuen didn't show any sign of hating Ryo, though. He leaned against Ryo's side and tilted his head up to lick Ryo's arm. "Why weren't you there?" Ryo asked, knowing that it wasn't fair that he should blame Byakuen. "If you'd b-been there, granma wouldn't have w-w-wandered away." He put a hand down to scratch Byakuen behind an ear. "If I'd stayed a-a-awake, she wouldn't have wandered away." Ryo felt the tears starting again, but he fought not to let them fall.   
  
Slowly, Ryo slumped down until he was resting against Byakuen's side, retreating into Byakuen's soft, warm fur.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin was running in the park, as he did most mornings, trying to sort out his many problems. 'What am I going to do? Touma's got a meeting with his lawyer this afternoon, and his dad made it through surgery. Damn.' Shin had rather hoped that Touma's dad would have died, but at least the news they'd gotten last night had made Touma feel better.   
  
'Not to mention that Touma wasn't able to get Ryo to talk about what he was doing the other night; that whole...eating dog thing. Ewww!' Shin shuddered at the memory. Just the thought made Shin want to throw up and the hunted look on Ryo's face when he'd turned to find Shin standing behind him had frightened Shin more than he wanted to admit. 'He looked like some wild animal.'  
  
The park was usually deserted this early in the morning and Shin was so lost in his thoughts that as he crossed the bridge over the small river that ran though the park, the last thing he expecting was to trip over Ryo. Shin tumbled right over Ryo and landed on his face. "Oh, Ryo! I so sorry, I not watching where I going!"  
  
Ryo didn't answer and just lay there on the ground, his face buried in his arms.  
  
"Ryo, you all right?" Shin asked, as he leaned over Ryo and gave him a little shake. "Ryo?"  
  
Shin felt hot breath on the back of his neck and looked over his shoulder to find a tiger. Shin blinked, trying to figure out if his mind was playing tricks on him or if this tiger was real. A huge white tiger with bright blue eyes looked down at him and then at Ryo. The tiger nosed Shin out of the way so it could get a better sniff of Ryo and give him a lick.  
  
Whatever the tiger was trying to do must have worked because Ryo groaned and rolled to the side. "Yaku-Chan." He whispered, opening his eyes and putting his arms around the tiger's head for a hug. The tiger lay down with Ryo, putting one paw protectively on Ryo's chest before he turned to look at Shin, his eyes clearly showing that he was judging whether or not Shin was worthy to know Ryo. At least, that's how Shin interpreted it.  
  
Ryo stared up at the sky, ignoring everything around him, though his fingers wove through the tiger's fur in quick spastic movements.  
  
Shin gulped kept his distance from Ryo's protective...friend. Ryo had never said anything about a tiger. "Ryo, please, look at me." Slowly, Ryo did as Shin asked and focused on him. "What happened to you?" Ryo looked destroyed, as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest.  
  
Ryo closed his eyes and buried his hands further in Byakuen's fur. "G-granma died."   
  
Shin didn't know what to say, so he said nothing and waited for Ryo to continue.   
  
"I did s-s-something awful, S-S-Shin." Ryo's voice grew quieter as he spoke and he wouldn't look Shin in the eye. "I did something so h-h-horrible." He wrapped his arms around his stomach and curled himself into a fetal position.   
  
"You tell me what happened?" Shin inched closer to Ryo, keeping a close eye on the tiger. "You trust me not to tell, if that what you want." Shin had always been very proud of the fact that he'd never been one to tell secrets and he wished that Ryo could trust him as easily as Touma did.   
  
"You'll hate me if I tell y-you."  
  
"I never hate you, Ryo. You're my friend." That was the truth, anyway. Shin gave his trust wearily and when he did chose to trust someone, he was possessive and didn't like giving them up. Ryo was his friend and Shin would stick with him. When Ryo said nothing for a moment, Shin touched his shoulder lightly, but Ryo flinched away violently at the touch. "You don't have to tell, if you don't want. Come to my home and warm up?" Shin stood up and tried to move to another subject that might be less painful.  
  
Ryo sighed and nodded, but when Shin held out a hand to him, Ryo refused it and grabbed the tiger's fur to pull himself up. The three of them walked in silence with Shin trying to make small talk, but Ryo didn't answer. The tiger walked between them, as if it wanted to shield Ryo from Shin. 'Ryo trusts it, so I suppose it's all right.' Shin watched the tiger warily out of the corner of his eye, not quiet sure how they managed to get all the way from the park to Shin's house without meeting a single person at this time of day. 'If anyone saw that tiger, there'd be a riot or something.' But they were lucky as Shin's house wasn't all that far from the park.  
  
Shin was about to say that Ryo should tell the tiger to stay outside, as he really didn't think his mum or his okasan would appreciate having a kitty cat the size of a small horse in the house, when the tiger leapt up, putting its paws on Ryo's shoulders. Ryo put his hands out to steady his friend and they looked at each other for a minute before the tiger gave Ryo's face a small lick. Then it jumped down and walked quietly back into the park, vanishing into a thick corpse of trees.  
  
"Come in, Ryo." Shin opened the front door and Ryo walked in sluggishly, just letting himself be led. When he led Ryo though the house, Shin caught a glimpse of his okasan in the living room with Touma. They both looked up at him, but he shook his head, motioning for them to be silent. Ryo didn't see the movement and never even looked up from where he was staring at the floor. "You lay down and rest, I call the school and tell them you won't be in today." Shin took Ryo to his bedroom and gestured to the bed before he left the room  
  
"Okasan!" Shin ran down stairs, back to where Touma and Shin's Okasan were waiting for him.  
  
"What happened to Ryo?" Touma asked, sounding very worried. "He looked like death warmed up. Why didn't you bring him in here?"  
  
"He's in trouble." Shin said, reverting to English so he could speak faster and he knew they could both understand English. "Ryo said his granma died and he's really broken up about it." Shin looked back and forth between Touma and his okasan. "I found him in the park and he had a huge tiger with him! Ryo said he'd done something awful, but he didn't tell me what and he looks like he just wants to die." Shin hoped one of them would know what to do because, beyond comforting Ryo, Shin had no idea.  
  
Okasan went to the phone. "I'll call the police and see if anyone's looking for him. A tiger in the city should have escaped from the zoo or something, so there's probably people looking for that, too."  
  
"I'm going to run to Seiji's house. They were pretty close, so Seiji's gonna want to know about this. If anyone can help Ryo, Seiji can." Touma took off out the door, without a thought to the restriction that he couldn't go anywhere alone and Shin knew better than to remind him. Touma could get awful stubborn when he wanted to and he certainly wasn't going to wait around if Ryo needed help. Besides, Seiji lived close enough that by the time Shin's okasan got off the phone, Touma would probably be back with Seiji.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryo-  
  
  
  
  
  
Shin's room was nice, cleaned and well organized with a large fish tank and many potted plants decorating the place. It was the kind of place Ryo had always wished for in a home. Ryo slumped down on Shin's bed and lay down. He just felt so damned tired.   
  
"Please, don't give up."  
  
Ryo didn't bother to look up at Shin's voice and he didn't answer. The bed shifted slightly and Ryo knew that Shin sat down next to him. Ryo didn't like it; it felt to intimate, to much like when he'd been with Bishop Brannon. But he didn't have any energy to move away from Shin.  
  
"Ryo," Shin's hand touched Ryo's arm tentatively, as if unsure of it's welcome there. "You trust me. I never hurt you."  
  
Ryo's eyes were burning and he felt his lips start to shake. 'I don't want him to be nice to me. He'll be so disgusted when he finds out what I did. He'll hate me.' Ryo didn't want to cry. He really didn't want to cry again. It felt like he'd been doing nothing but crying for so long.  
  
Shin moved, shifting around so he was leaning over Ryo, looking down at him and Ryo had no choice but to look at Shin. A hand landed on Ryo's shoulder and he looked up at Shin's worried face. 'God, no one should worry about me,' Ryo thought. 'I'm not worth it. I let my own granma die. Couldn't even save the person I love most in the entire world. I sold my self. Granma would be so ashamed.'  
  
"Ryo, let me help you. Let me do something. It hurts to see you hurt."  
  
Unable to hold back anymore, Ryo burst into tears and put his face into Shin's pillow so Shin wouldn't see him. Confused, Shin crawled over Ryo, and knelt on the floor in front next to him, rubbing his arm. "Shhh. It fine. Everything okay. I take care of you." It kept going like this, with Shin speaking softly and gently, coming close enough to put his cheek on Ryo's and then backing away and wiping tears off Ryo's face. Shin touched Ryo's hair, running his fingers through the black locks from where it curled near Ryo's ears and down the straighter hair in the back.  
  
Eventually, Ryo took a deep breath, to ease the crying and turned his face enough that he could see Shin. "G-g-granma, d-d-died." He managed to force the words out. He'd said it earlier, but he needed to say it again.  
  
"I'm sorry." It seemed inadequate, but there was nothing else to say. Shin sat next to Ryo and let the other boy cry. It was the first time he'd seen Ryo cry. Ryo sat up slowly, as if it was almost painful, and hunched over, putting his head on his knees and wrapping his arms around his head, looking like he was trying to hide.  
  
"All alone." Ryo whispered, seeming to calm down enough to speak properly. "I'm all a-alone."  
  
"Silly." Shin put a hand under Ryo's chin and lifted his face so Ryo would look at him. "You're not alone. Never alone with us."  
  
Ryo shook his head. "I-It's not the same as f-family."  
  
Ryo felt a touch on the side of his head and Shin pulled Ryo to lean against him. Ryo looked up at Shin's gentle smile, but pulled away. "I d-don't want you t-to touch me."  
  
Shin didn't try to stop Ryo from moving away, but said, "Ryo, I won't hurt you. You not alone, please remember that."  
  
Ryo forced himself to relax and ran a hand over his face. If Shin knew what a horrible person he was then maybe he wouldn't want Ryo near him. He didn't want to touch anyone, ever again. "I'm a whore." It just sort of came out without Ryo really thinking about it. If he'd taken the time to think, Ryo might not have said anything.  
  
Shin froze.  
  
'This is it,' Ryo knew. 'Shin will turn away from me and he'll tell the others and they'll all hate me!'  
  
Instead, Shin put both arms around Ryo and sounded like he was going to cry himself. "Oh, poor Ryo. Why you do such a thing to yourself?"  
  
Surprised at the sympathy, Ryo answered. "Granma needed to go to the h-h-hospital and I didn't have enough money. I had to get it quick." He gave a disgusted laugh at his wasted efforts and let his chin rest on Shin's shoulder. "Didn't even w-w-work in the end, she d-d-died anyway."  
  
Finally, Shin let go. "I know it's awful to lose your granma, but why you run from Seiji? You could have told him about what you did to help your granma, he understand. You did it to save her after all, so it's not so horrible. You do it for good reason."  
  
"I...I set fire to his mom."  
  
Shin blinked. "What? Why?"  
  
Ryo moved away from Shin. "I didn't m-mean it. It just h-happens when I get angry or upset. I can usually c-control it, but she s-surprised me. I burnt her shirt all up." Ryo sniffed miserably. "Seiji m-must hate me."  
  
"I might hate you if you ever do something stupid like running away from me again!" Seiji stood in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. Behind Seiji Ryo could see Touma and Xiu, all looking equally worried.  
  
Ryo paled and looked for a place to run, but the imposing Seiji, who looked far more frightening than Ryo had ever seen him, was blocking the only door. "I didn't mean it, S-Seiji! It just happened. I really didn't mean to hurt you m-m-mom." He repeated what he'd said to Shin, but now it sounded desperate and pleading and he cringed away from Seiji.  
  
Seiji stormed into the room with slow, measured steps. "You had us so worried!" Seiji said, almost growling. "I had my grandfather put out a report for all the police to look for you. My mom was in tears when I left her, she thinks you've killed yourself." Seiji was suddenly in front of Ryo and looked down at him with blazing eyes. He grabbed Ryo by the shoulders and gave him a shake. "You idiot! Don't you ever run away from us again! We were so scared for you."  
  
Ryo wanted to pull away, but he was shocked at the same time. Seiji wasn't angry! Seiji's hands tightened on Ryo's shoulders, digging into Ryo's skin. "Ryo, you're practically my brother. My grandfather loved your granma and he wanted you both to live with us. You can have the spare room, Ryo. My mom said she'd adopt you, if she can."  
  
The others moved in then, surrounding Ryo and almost making him feel smothered. Touma patted Ryo's back. "You shouldn't keep things from us, Ryo. How are we supposed to help if you don't talk to us?"  
  
Seiji agreed. "Thankfully, Shin had the sense to let everyone know what was going on when he found you."  
  
"Trust us, Ryo." Xiu said with a grin, slapping Ryo softly on the shoulder. "We take care of each other. We'll take care of you, too."  
  
Ryo couldn't speak. His mouth just seized up and anything he might have said was lost in a choked sob. Maybe, just maybe, with a little help, he could still make his granma proud.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
End-  
  
  
  
  
Cousin D: Well, that's the end of the story, folks.  
  
ELgoW: What do you mean, that's the end?! You can't end it like that! What about Touma's trial? What about Xiu's dad finding out about Seiji? What about our psycho little Shin? What about Seiji hearing voices?  
  
Lil' Demoness: I'm afraid ELgoW is right this time. You just can't leave us...er...the readers, hanging like that. Half the story is unfinished. Be reasonable, you can't end things like this.  
  
Cousin D: But I was just going to add to the original. This is getting a bit long, don't you think? It's your fault, anyway, that all that extra stuff got added. I wasn't going to do all that.  
  
ELgoW: We're having fun! We are NOT stopping here! You haven't even put our Ma-Sho into the story. How could you forget them?!  
  
Lil' Demoness: You just go to bed, Cousin D. Let us handle things, now. You just relax.  
  
Cousin D: Relax? With you two mucking around on my keyboard?  
  
ELgoW: Hee, hee. Trust us.  
  
Cousin D: Oh, dear. 


End file.
